Should I have a 3rd child?

Question

I have a 6 yr old boy and 8 yr old girl, my boyfriend has a 6 yr old boy as well. He really wants a little girl, I know I can't guarntee that and I really want a 3rd baby. I am 28 and he is 30, I feel like if I wait I will be too old and there will be a big age gap between the older kids and the baby. We've been together for a year and I just quit getting my depo shot. I'm kind of scared, I know he would be a great father, he already is and we both have great jobs, I would like to hear from anyone with a similar experience, thanks!!

Answer 1

You should take some time to seriously assess your situation together. You've been together awhile, I'm assuming it's a stable relationship--that's good. You mentioned the fact that you both have great jobs. Are these jobs so great that they limit your family time? If so, think about what this would do for the baby. You might have limited time, and what time you have left would be given to the baby, possibly resulting in the neglect of the older children. Not saying this will happen, but it is possible. It's also possible that everything would be great and you'd be very happy. Also, though, think about what would happen if you had a boy. Would you and he still be grateful for the baby? Just think about it. Adoption also might be something to consider. Good luck!

Answer 2

I agree that one year isn't a long enough time being together to decide to have a baby w/your boyfriend. A long-term commitment would be better and then decide about a baby after the two of you have talked a lot, made sure you're compatible, and...maybe even gotten married first ('tho I don't believe it's a necessity).

And, no, 28 isn't old at all! Nowadays, women are having babies later and there's nothing wrong w/that. I had my first when I was 35. Don't worry about a big age-gap between the kids. They'll be great helpers when/if you do have another child.

Answer 3

This is not to put you down, by no means, but maybe you should think about getting married first, before having another child. Think about how that child is going to feel (and your other children for that matter), being born into that situation. I've had friends who were in a similar situation, and they ended up feeling guilty when the relationship ended with their boyfriends and their kids' were shuffled around all the time. Granted, the same thing can happen with divorce, but there's a less like chance if the couple is married. When you're married, there's more at stake. Good luck!

Answer 4

A year isn't long to make a commintment like a child, your 8 year old and 6 year old will probly not like having a sibling because when children are that age they like attention, and a baby will causes them less attention so tihnk very wisley do you have enough money and is he that good.. (get married)

Answer 5

Does your available time and finances allow for you to be responsible for more lives? I would start from there.
The attention you need to give to a new baby will possibly leave a void in the needs of your older children.
good luck

Answer 6

A child deserves a loving INTACT family (meaning married mom and dad TO EACH OTHER) make that commitment first. Having children is fine, but really, do you want to go through all that again? and put the other kids on the backburner? probably not.....

Answer 7

I think that it would be a good idea to get married first and have some real commitment. As far a being too old, please, I had my first child at 33 and I certainly don't feel old.

Answer 8

go for it...you both sound like good parents and you dont want to wait too long

Answer 9

if you have to ask then your not ready

Answer 10

no