How do I get over my need to have a relationship and start a family when I am single?

Answer 1

Welcome to Rio's Four-Step Guide to Female Independence!

First, get a career. Not a job, a career. That's what will truly define you. Once you can earn your own way through life, you will stop having to depend on men for financial security. (This will require post-secondary education of some sort.)

Next, spend more time with your friends. They're the ones who will always be there to prop you up when the going gets tough. Once you have that down, you won't need a man to affirm your worth.

Next, find some hobbies. Anything you can happily do on your own. Study up on something that interests you and join a club relating to that topic. Once you have a hobby, you won't need a man to fill your day.

Finally, step back and take a look at the rest of the women in the world. How many of us require a man to be happy? We have enough in our lives not to need them for anything. Sex? We have vibrators. Kids? That's what adoption agencies are for. Opening the door and paying for the meal? You're no weakling or vagrant — you are a woman who can take care of herself anytime. Once you've come to this realization, you won't need a man for anything.

And if you ever get worried, here's a valuable reading list:

The Feminine Mystique, Betty Friedan
Backlash, Susan Faludi
Singled Out, Bella dePaulo
Get to Work, Linda Hirschman

Answer 2

Talk to some of your friends or see if you can stay with one of them for a week or two. Being in a relationship can be overrated.

For some peole it becomes to routine:
Wake up
Get kids to school
Go to work all day
Come home Cook Dinnner
Cleanup behind kids or a spouse
Be to exhausted to make love or do quickies quietly so you dont wake the kids. Kids are needy and require alot of attention.
Wake up do it all over again.

There are people that love this, but starting a family is "permanent" life changing experience.

Remember, when you are single you can come and go as you please and success of failuer only effects you.

Get a cat, join a gym, have live in boyfriend of something, but don't just take on a family becuase you feel you are missing out. You can end up getting more then you really wanted.

Answer 3

I used to think that way when I was in my 20's. Now I'm married and I have two step kids that are the poster kids for birth control. ANYWAY...I found happiness with myself. I learned that others can't make me happy. I learned to love myself...meaning...If you hang with negative people you will be negative. So find some happy upbeat people. I took a half an hour a day and went for a walk. That not only helped my health...it was the time I sorted through any problems I might have. Make sure when you enter into a relationship it is because you want to and not because you feel your bio-clock ticking. I never had kids of my own and I don't regret it. I have enough with raising other peoples kids and trying to teach respect. I wish you all the luck in the world.

Answer 4

By getting to know and love yourself. Getting some self respect and change your thinking that currently seems to be "I need to have a family and not be single". To being happy with yourself as your only company, or finding the things that you like to do on your own and doing them, or finding out if there is anything you don't know you like doing and trying it to see if you do actually like it?

Answer 5

i assume tht u don wanna hav a family or ne otha commitments right now and u feel distractd by this thought. if thts the case, engage urself in some fruitful activities like reading or anything you enjoy. try to gather more information by reading gud buks and build up self esteem. u can also consider the idea of turnin a hobby in2 a source of income

Answer 6

How old are you? Is that what you are looking for? If you're still relatively young, what is it that makes you want to settle down? Is it how you were raised? Or just what you want. All of us hope that one day, our relationships develop into something long term and fulfilling. Most people are looking forward to settling down and having a family.

Answer 7

keep yourself busy.. start calling friends , maybe someone you havent talked to in awhile and be like hey want to hang out.. start frienships, do things now that you know for sure cant happen when your in a family setting. get your girls and go away for the WEEKEND!!! get a second job, keep yourself busy is the biggest thing i can tell you.. and to keep a clear head try to hang out with someone that is also like enjoy the moment and be single ..good luck

Answer 8

Why get over it? If you dwell on it too much, your going to scare away any and all males (or females if you play on that team). Just be yourself and date people and have faith that eventually you will find somebody who is on the same page as you. But I wouldn't try to suppress it too much and definitely be honest with the people you date. Good luck to you - I'm sure you'll find that someone special.

Answer 9

By actually having a relationship

Answer 10

I dont think you can........its a basic need. Dont fight it or give yourself a hard time over feeling that way, everybody feels this way. I know its frustrating when youre single. Best advice i can give is get on with your life and dont obsess about it.