How can I draw the line between being seen as 'a nag' and actually showing him I'm a strong woman that's not insecure and pinpointing every little flaw?!!
If I point something out, like he doesn't call me often....he'll call me insecure or naive in relationships, what can I do in future incidents where he thinks, "she's a strong woman who doesn't stand for bad behavior?"
2007-01-04 06:22:32 · 15 answers · asked by Talitha 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds to me like any time you assert yourself, your accused of being insecure...Nothing you do can change that sweety, its his perceptions that are schewed...not your responses..
2007-01-04 06:27:51 · answer #1 · answered by every woman 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You don't need to prove anything to anybody. What I can clearly see, is competition on his part or an effort to humiliate you. This does not seem to be a healthy relationship. If this hapens at this stage, can you imagine what will hapen if you 2 get married?
When there is love, there is no criticism, no body puts down any body. Love builds people up, strenghtens, suports, forgives, understands other people's weaknesses... Do you love him? may be you need to reconsider your answer if it was a "yes".
Why are you with him? Is there nobody else? Is it for convenience? Are you just used to him? whatever it is, I want you to know something... You are very valuable, in fact, you are a princess. Live like one, and demand the respect fit to a princess. Don't get stuck with the present, it only lasts a fraction of a second... Once I finish writing this, it will be gone. Think future and plan your life accordingly, and more importantly, live life with dignity.
God Bless.
2007-01-04 14:25:47 · answer #2 · answered by skydiver 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to show him you are a strong confident woman is not to nag him if he doesn't call you because you are too busy having fun enjoying your life to notice, not sitting by the phone waiting for him to call you.
If he doesn't call you often, it is because he doesn't want to. Become a more interesting person that has her own life where he is not her total universe and he is likely to become more interested and want to call you. The more you nag or say him not calling is "bad behavior you are not going to stand for", the more he is gone to see you as a surrogate mother which is a total turn-off.
If your needs truly are not being met in the relationship, you can't make him change his behavior or make him want to call you or be with you; you would be better off spending your time finding someone who wants and needs the same level of contact that you do.
2007-01-04 14:31:33 · answer #3 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stop needing to prove anything. Just BE a strong woman. When he doesn't call, don't say anything. Simply find something else to do. Strong women don't need any one particular person to prove they are worthy or lovable. Knowing they are worthy and lovable, they just go do something else. Re: "she's a strong woman who doesn't stand for bad behavior?" Stop spending time and energy trying to change his behavior. It's not going to work anyway. Just focus on changing your own behavior. If he's half the guy you deserve, he will turn around to see you occupied elsewhere and want your attention. At that point, you get to choose whether to give him your attention, or continue what you were doing.
Recap, scenario #1, he's not calling, you're trying to make him call. He's resisting. Not a good setup for romance.
scenario #2, he's not calling, you find something else to do. He wants your attention. You choose to be with him, or not. If you choose to be with him, count on a hot date.
Get the picture?
2007-01-04 14:51:28 · answer #4 · answered by shine_radiantstar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, if you are pinpointing every little flaw then you are a nag. Second, your approach may be what's ticking him off. Create a mood and get him to sit down and discuss (not argue) about what it is that is affecting you negatively and at the same time, give him the opportunity to voice his concerns about you. A strong woman doesnt nag, rather she can make him see her way even if her way isnt the right way!
2007-01-04 14:28:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Strong women do not need to pick out flaws in others.
2007-01-04 14:25:57 · answer #6 · answered by superliss2 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
just act like a strong person face him with every wrong doing dont let anything slip.
2007-01-04 14:26:01 · answer #7 · answered by Louy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How often should he be calling you? If all you do is nag him, I dont blame him for not calling you.
2007-01-04 14:26:16 · answer #8 · answered by Mr. Goodkat 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you don't think he's calling enough, call him.
If you don't think he's dressed nice, buy him some clothes.
Nagging to me always sounds like, "I'd really like you to dump me good"
2007-01-04 14:26:58 · answer #9 · answered by jz 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
But your only 22. You are naive. One of the things you have to deal with if you choose to date someone older. DUH. THAT just proves your naive.
2007-01-04 14:40:24 · answer #10 · answered by Doug Church 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋