I have an adult sister who has autism. Should I take her to my wedding when I get married?

Question

I'm not making this up.

btw, i'm not in a relationship now.

Answer 1

The people who gasp in horror at the thought that anyone could ask such a question are obviously unaware of how severe some low-funtioning types of autism can be. But even my niece, who has very low functioning autism, would be likely to be able to sit through a traditional wedding as long as it was traditional (no loud rock bands) & wasn't a very long ceremony.

But some cases of autism involve extreme sensitivity to noises & smells. If your sister is at this level, she may not be able to deal with all the perfumes. My neice might have difficulty being resonably quiet during the ceremony, but maybe not. Many churches have a nursery or sound room where someone could observe with out having to be quiet. This could be something you consider if siting still & quietly would be torture for her.

Or a more informal wedding might fit the bill.

It is even more unlikely that the reception could pose a problem.

Whatever you decide, the issue should be what is best for her. You should invite someone to your wedding to share with them your joy. If they have a condition which would make the setting torturous, then the loving thing would be to not insist they come.

Answer 2

I think it depends upon whether she is disruptive and will know why she is there. If she is disruptive, you might want to ask a family member to sit with her and quietly walk her out if she interrupts the ceremony. I know that often repetitive movements or noises can be an issue with Autistic people.

You should definitely NOT "take her" because you will have other things on your mind and your first priority is to your fiancee/new spouse. If somebody else can tend to her, and there is a reasonable assumption that it will not be a disaster to have her there, then by all means send her an invitation and find someone to get her there.

If behaviors are an issue, I would not feel guilty about not having her there. If she is not aware of the significance of a wedding ceremony, you can just tell her you got married and maybe show her the videos.

Answer 3

no i am sure your not making this up.
your getting married your new wife will then have a new sister in-law this sister in law happens to have autism.
if there is no reason to think there would be good cause to think a big upset would take place i am sure you know what i mean by upset . then have her along.
if she is prone to upset then i wont . i would however make a point of making sure my bride met my sister and understood that
she is your sister come hell or high water she is your sister.
also if you go with not having her to the weeding i would get a few pictures of you and your wife and frame them and give them to her and depending on her level i would give her a present of some sort as well . kind of like if she were a bridesmaid you might give them something. that sort of thing
sad to think but i suppose in some cases we will never know for sure how much not getting to the milestones in life means to a person with autism.
i hope you and your wife have a great day.
PS
i would consider this a day in which if i were to invite her i would say give her additional meds to help calm her. pps
i just posted this and then read the other answers and because i am familar with the different degrees of autism and the behaviours the go along with it i would like to remind you that
sure a slight change in the med routine would be ok for this .
but you and i know that you are asking this question because of
personal knowledge of past events. just make sure your right up to speed with her current state and then think of her sure but not at the point of having her behaviour become the one thing everyone remembers of the day .
you have to balance this all its tough but like i said if she doesnt come that doesnt mean your not going to have her around and vist with her and so on for as long as you two are alive . dont feel guilt when a descion of this sort is really just a resonalbe precaution.

Answer 4

Balls up and answer this yourself.

Do you want your sister, your family, present at one of the most important days of you life or would you prefer her to miss it?

Maybe she is not able to answer, but if she can...maybe you should tell her you'd like her to be at your wedding and ask her if that would be ok with her? If she doesn't want to go, don't make her. If she wants to go, then God Bless her heart for wanting to see her little brother get married.

These are hard questions to answer when you don't know the full situation.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Ofcourse you should...........just ask someone in the family to take care of her during the wedding and then have her dropped wherever she lives!!
She is your sis.......autism or on autism. If you are concerned whether your spouse may not like it.......why would you want to marry someone who is so rude.

Answer 6

What kind of question is this?? She is your sister, no matter what illness she might have. You should be proud of your sister and not ashamed of her. Definately let her come to the wedding and have someone sit with her incase she becomes disruptive in which she cannot help it!

Answer 7

Yes. And help your family or caregivers arrange any help or support she may need while there. Having an aide to assist her might be a good idea.

Answer 8

She is family. Why would you exclude family from such a special event in your life?

It's unfortunate that you are potentially contemplating otherwise.

Good luck to you and your sister.

Answer 9

There's no doubt about it. She should come! She's your sister. I'm sure your family can arrange something to take care of her while she's there.

Answer 10

Of course, she is your sister! Put another family member in charge of caring for her.