My fiance and I have decided to just have our friends as bridesmaids and groomsmen, because he has so many relatives. Now I have my going to be sister in law mad at me. Am I doing the right thing not putting her in it? I don't want her to hate me.
2007-01-04 05:43:42 · 24 answers · asked by lexmo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It's YOUR wedding and therefore it is completely your and your fiance's decision as to who you want to be involved in your big day. Sure that might upset some people, but its your right to include and not include whomever you wish and they need to realise that. They don't have any right to get mad at you for planning your day the way you want it. Unfortunately a lot of people take that kind of thing personally, which they shouldn't. If they can't deal with not being included, thats not your fault or your problem. Don't get stressed out over it and don't let anyone else influence how you plan your special day.
2007-01-04 05:50:54 · answer #1 · answered by katskradle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same debate over my brother and sister-in-law. We just made the bridal party bigger. We have 6 bridesmaids and 6 groomsmen. Theres no limit as to how many people stand up, but you should feel honored that she wants to have a role in your big day! If you don't want her to stand up maybe you could give her another responsibility. Maybe have give a reading during the ceremony. Do what makes you happy, but also think of the consequences in the long run. Is it worth the drama in the future to pay for 1 more person to stand up?
2007-01-04 05:48:20 · answer #2 · answered by justjen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is your wedding and your choice. But you also have to see it from her perspective, she is family. These friends that are in it, may not be around forever like family. I could see how she's insulted, but it is your wedding. Try to include her in it some how. I had my sister-in-law read a really nice poem at the ceremony, that made her feel included and very happy. Good Luck and congrats!
2007-01-04 05:53:53 · answer #3 · answered by ELW 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is your wedding,put whoever you want in it. The family has to realize that everyone can not be in the wedding, so don't worry about that. Put the people who mean the most to you in it and let it go at that!
2007-01-04 05:47:59 · answer #4 · answered by wish I were 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ultimatly this is your day not hers. Familes are weird when it comes to weddings, and someone is going to get their feelings hurt, but like I said before this day is about you, not them! My husband and I put some of our family in the wedding, but not all of them. We did what we thought was best and only put people in the wedding who were truly close to the BOTH of us, not just because of blood or marriage.
2007-01-04 06:35:50 · answer #5 · answered by palomastephens 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her know why she wasnt picked to be a brides maid. Tell her that is nothing against her is just that the family is too big and you dont want anyone close to both you and your fiance be upset on why you picked one member over the other. Im sure that she would understand. Just talk to her. Communication is the number one key. congratulations and good luck.
2007-01-04 06:08:48 · answer #6 · answered by needanswers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as long as their invited, I don't see a problem. You should have your closet friends standing beside you, not just because their related. If they feel they should be a part of the cermony, have them read a scripture from the bible during the service, or show people to their seats, or some other small job so that they feel included. It's your day girl, enjoy it and don't worry about any one else's feelings besides your own.
2007-01-04 06:03:24 · answer #7 · answered by evilcharm1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is totally acceptable NOT to have family in your wedding party. If you think shewill feel bad for not being involved, find other ways that she can be involved. Instead of saying: "We don't want you to be a bridesmaid" use a positive approach "We would be honored if you would be our (candle lighter/soloist/painist/special reading/mc/guest book attendent, etc)"
2007-01-04 10:25:28 · answer #8 · answered by Chrys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont have to put them in the wedding if you dont want to. my brother wasnt in my wedding. he would have been if we had a bigger wedding party, but because we only had a MOH and a best man he wasnt in it and neither were my husbands sisters and brother. we left family out of the wedding party completely. I bet your SIL would feel different if it was her weddign and she didnt want to have you in it. dont worry about it...she'll get over it. she is just being selfish.
2007-01-04 06:30:34 · answer #9 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her and the rest of the family the reason why and that you and your fiance made this decision together. They should be understanding that you did not want to choose between them and didn't want any hurt feelings to begin with.
2007-01-04 06:06:05 · answer #10 · answered by superliss2 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋