I dated someone for about 3 months. When we met everything clicked for both of us. It was hard because he lives in a different city, but we went on a couple of weekend trips and talked on the phone 1-2 times a week. He was getting over a long term love that he lived with who had moved out about 5 months before, but that seemed over. Then I mentioned going to visit him for a weekend and he became distant. He didn't return two phone calls and finally called me and told me that he just thought the distance was hard and that we had gotten so serious so fast and that he didn't think he could be good for anybody right now. I really want him back - I just really think something good could be there. I know he was into me. I asked people on line and they told me to wait and not contact him and give him time so that is what I have been doing. But does that really work? I never seem to get exes to come back. How long should I wait or should I contact him at some point?
2007-01-04 05:30:29 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just be his friend. I know it's hard when you have feelings for someone, but it's what you have to do right now. I had to do it, and in the end....I'm with him now. It pays to be a friend. And maybe that's what he needs right now. No romantic hassles. He needs to take care of himself and heal properly. You should actually be happy that he told you sooner then waiting until love entered the picture and it hurt the both of you even more. Just hang out, be friends, talk and let him vent to you when he needs to. It will build up a great relationship. Good luck
2007-01-04 05:34:54 · answer #1 · answered by It's Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My god, this is my life at the moment! I've just ended a 4 month long distance relationship because of the distance and the stress of it. It just seemed too much so soon, we got really serious and things got strained because of all the expectation. We promised to try and remain friends, so I saw him over the new year. And it was wonderful; we had a fantastic time and now I'm wondering if I did the right thing...I have to try and think that if it's meant to be, it will happen no matter what obstacles I try and put in the way. However, the line you wrote 'I never seem to be able to get exes to come back' says a lot. Learn to love life being single, and I mean GENUINELY happy in your own life without a man. Once you gain that happiness, I promise you it will be your exes trying to get YOU back!!
2007-01-04 13:40:15 · answer #2 · answered by happynspirited 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fear of being hurt will cause someone to pull away. Give him a little space but let him know that if he just needs a friend you are there for him. I say it doesn't hurt to pick up the phone once a week or so just to say hi and ask him if he's doing okay. You can gauge his reaction then as to how you want to proceed with letting him know you are still very much interested in him. If things seem to stay the same then perhaps you should consider this relationship a loss and move on.
2007-01-04 13:33:32 · answer #3 · answered by WonderTwit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think people get second chances, no matter what is said the past is always there and if he has walked away, maybe it's better to let him go. Some times waiting means missing out on the things that are passing you by, not to say that you should give up on him either, but just don't wait around, because it might never happen and you could meet some one closer to you who wants to spend more time with you. Always keep the door open, you never know what might happen...
2007-01-04 13:37:37 · answer #4 · answered by Rusty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now, he's hurting and is afraid that he'll hurt both you and him if you get into a relationship. I agree with the people who told you to give it some time. Call him to check up after a month, just ask how he's doing, how are thing's going for him? etc.... Then wait for the call back. If there is none, then you know it's over. Good luck!
2007-01-04 13:34:58 · answer #5 · answered by S. Elizabeth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was just in the guys situation. I broke up with a very long term love whom I lived with for years. I couldn't even begin to fathom dating anyone for atleast 7 months. Then I met someone and things developed quickly. But my ex wanted to work things out. I felt terrible for hurting the other guy because he was a special person but I loved my live in boyfriend too much. If your friend is not ready for you, its best for the both of you to allow him the space he needs. It avoids pain that could be worse later on. Hang in there, be there for him if he needs you but dont deny any other possibilities either.
2007-01-04 13:41:56 · answer #6 · answered by usfmangu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i guess the relationship was not meant to be. he became distant because the relationship was getting serious i guess that guy who u thought had a thing for u was just using u to get over his long lost relationship. i don't think u should wait for him he is not serious about u.
2007-01-04 13:39:40 · answer #7 · answered by ivelisse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like this guy isn't over his ex.. there's nothing you can do. if he doesn't feel ready to date you or others, then you're screwed..
you could sit back and wait, and hope that he learns to get over his past and is able to deal with his issues and demons. but there is no guarantee.
life is too short. don't waste it away waiting for someone you may never get..
2007-01-04 13:37:20 · answer #8 · answered by Jeff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
may i ask: come back to what exactly?
when you will have an answer to this question you will know how long you would have to wait.
2007-01-04 13:36:25 · answer #9 · answered by dan g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't make someone like you. You should move on with your own life and not wait around.
2007-01-04 13:34:42 · answer #10 · answered by bds_bunni 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋