How do you say no to something you’ve already said yes too?
I agreed to let my boyfriend’s cousin live with us, in a house we just moved into. That is small enough with us and my two dogs. I don’t know his cousin what so ever, and we have met all of twice. He seems nice enough, but he has a lot of problems. Mental, emotional and just has a ton of growing up to do. And that’s what I’ve heard from my boyfriends dad, who took him in once already and the guy sort of flaked out on my boyfriend’s dad. My bf’s dad never says anything bad about anyone, and he was willing to help out this guy, but now even he won’t help him out which is weird and makes me nervous.
I really don’t want him moving in. But how do I change my mind now?
My bf and I have been having some relationship troubles already. And I don’t think he has really thought this thing through. Such as who will play bad guy if his cousin flakes out on rent? Or what if his cousin flips out mentally like he has done in the past? He once just drove his car into the side of a building...and doesn’t know why.
Everything in the house is mine. Which is fine..but I also don’t know this guy. My boyfriend doesn’t work steady, and goes to school. So he cant really cover if his cousin does flake out. Plus I just have this feeling we will end up fighting over him moving in, if he does.
What can I do? He has already told his cousin yes. But I want to tell him no. And my boyfriend knows that, do I just stick to my guns? Or is there something I can do to smooth it out without causing more tension with my bf?
2007-01-04 05:18:52 · 6 answers · asked by Stacey M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You don't need to know how to change your mind, you need to know how to express it. Just tell your boyfriend and stick to your guns. Home should be a sanctuary, not a homeless shelter.
2007-01-04 05:57:10 · answer #1 · answered by lilrubberducky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling you need to learn the first thing about being in a relationship, which is being honest and upfront. Immediately talk to your BF and just tell him you are not ready for his cousin to move in just yet. The house is too small, the dogs, etc. Don't mince words or say well maybe, be firm, but kind. Tell him your concerns about the cousin and ask questions. Tell him you hadn't really thought this through and now that you have, you don't want to have the cousin move in. Don't wait for the perfect moment, or the right time, do it now and be ready for a little trouble, but your bf should understand your feelings and appreciate that you and him need to come first and his cousin needs to take care of himself. This is not like you have been married for a dozen years and need to help some family member. Besides, where is this cousins family? Why aren't they helping him? Maybe you can help the cousin get some services (mental health, food stamps, job and housing or something that doesn't involve him living with you and being your problem. Good luck!
2007-01-04 05:26:18 · answer #2 · answered by Tippy's Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
before the cousin moves in... tell your BF how you're really uncomfortable about the decision... but since you already agree to let him move in... make some ground rules; like if the cousin flakes out on the rent... no second chance... kick him out right away (i think your BF should do this - its his cousin)... and make sure that the cousin will help around the house too... good luck...
2007-01-04 05:26:56 · answer #3 · answered by brown_sunglasses 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well tell him you guys haven't been living together long enough to let some one else move in and disturb your relationship. if that doesn't work try something else. if you want to try and compromise with him tell him that if his cousin lakes on rent or flips out once just once then his cousin has to move out ASAP. sorry but right now that is my best advice. hope it helps.
2007-01-04 05:23:58 · answer #4 · answered by ~*These Blue Eyes Tell No Lies*~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him
2007-01-04 05:22:01 · answer #5 · answered by Joe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your a dumbass cause if your kinda scare of him. duhhhhh
2007-01-04 05:24:16 · answer #6 · answered by baby11kc 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋