Do you have an adoption story you'd like to share? Was your outcome postive or less than desired?
2007-01-04 05:08:21 · 5 answers · asked by ♀♥☼ alycat☼♥♀ 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
We adopted thru government twin boys when they were 22 months old..they are almost 5 now, and now in process of adopting their 3 year old brother. We are in the foster to adopt program for a baby girl , but sadly, they found a distant cousin for her, so that is not the outcome we were hoping for obviously. We will take some time to recover then try again for a girl.
We are definately frustrated in the system in some ways, but have no power to change anything. THe 3 year old has been apprehended and placed back with BP's several times beofre they finally placed him with us. He is so messed up with trust and security issues. Not to mention speech an language.
2007-01-04 05:15:05 · update #1
I can totally understand your frustration as we have a 5 year old who has been in the system, sent back to his BP and put back since he was younger than one! Parental rights have yet to be terminated (we have a date in a month) and he is now showing signs of anger / aggression / irritation...etc! We can only love him and show him that where he is at now is stable / loving and safe. Obviously I can't get into any specifics at this time, but I could tell you some stories, as I am sure you could the same, that would make everyone's heads spin and wonder why parents aren't given written test before they concieve. He looks at us as his parents, but with still having visits with his BP, it's hard for him to understand that he came from mommy's tummy, but doesn't live there and his idea of a mommy and daddy is always eating out at Burger King / McDonalds etc...and going to the dollar store for a new toy! It's such a treat when he ask us to do these things and we say, no and then he throws a fit! It also doesn't help that mommy and daddy are telling him things like we are not going to let him see them anymore...etc Some days I can just sit back and watch him with wonder in my eyes as he is a great kid and rarely has any of these tantrums (even though we have been begging for therapy since he moved in with us) and other days I just want to drive to the BP house, smack them in the head and ask...wtf do you think you are doing. Initially he was placed with us in a reunification process to go back home for the third (yes 3rd) time, but as you can see, this isn't going to happen! All I can say is...it's about time! We are so blessed to have him now and hopefully things will go our way! They have exasperated any possiblities to any other relatives except one, and he isn't looking good either because of his motives to have the child to himself! With BP, being kicked out of their homes, no jobs, no cars...etc...they think they are going to actually win the ajudication hearding that we have set and they have gotten continued twice now! They are just avoiding the inevitable and I feel your pain...I know what you are going through. Good luck in getting your girl...I don't know if I could go through this again!
I agree with LW about Skyehigh!
2007-01-04 07:57:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom who is now almost 60 years old was adopted when she was 2 and a half. She had awesome parents that gave her the life that she would have never had if she stayed with her abusive birth mother. Adoption is a tricky thing, but i have heard nothing but good stories about them...including my friend LW above...i love her parents...they raised 3 awesome kids and are very loving parents!!
2007-01-04 07:59:07 · answer #2 · answered by repodana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know a few people in the UK who have had so much hassle adopting children within the UK. Social workers are so politically correct (they don't believe in inter-racial adoption, adopting to those who are too fat, smoke, too middle class, etc) and the system is rigid with very little leniency. The result is, many folk just go abroad to adopt where rules are still strict but not so PC. And, unfortunately, British children who need homes are being stuck with nothing.
2007-01-04 08:16:06 · answer #3 · answered by starchilde5 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother sister and i were all adopted from different parents. We met our birth mom's and they all gave us up for the same reason(having 2 parents, to young, etc.) i am glad that my birth mom gave me up because i have a better life then i would with my birth mom. It was hard on her, but she knew i would be fine. Skyehigh, u obviously haven't met anybody that has had a good adoption.
2007-01-04 07:30:49 · answer #4 · answered by LW 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All the people I have known who were adopted suffered from severe lack of self-esteem, and had horrible childhood experiences, usually ending in group homes or on the street.
2007-01-04 05:11:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋