It seems like my entire life I have always been the Good Friend. Don't get me wrong, I do like being that person who is able to help others. But it seems like every time a woman comes into my life, I slip right into that role, either by my fault or as if they know that's where I've always been.
I don't want to sound like I just want to get into someone's pants, because frankly that's the last thing I want right now. I just am tired of falling into the role of the Good Friend.
2007-01-04 05:00:17 · 16 answers · asked by Jon M 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That always seems to be my problem too. I don't know how you are, but I know my problem is I'm a bit too shy. That and I always worry that the other person isn't interested in me so I don't want to make things awquard between the two of us by admitting I have feelings for this other person. A glint of hope, one girl I finally admitted to have feelings for her and, though we didn't end up together, we actually bonded and became better friends. I know that's not what you're looking for, but if you're worried about ruining a friendship, sometimes just the opposite can happen.
What this boils down to is I act like a good friend. I just treat her as a friend and that's as far as it gets to go. I show no genuine interest past the friendship level. So if you really are interested in a woman let her know. Ask her out on outtings that just include you and her would be a good idea, even if you are going out just "as friends". Be sure to slip in some compliments and meaningful conversation. Try to make the friend outtings a bit more romantic every time as well. If she still calls it going out just as friends, be sure to let her know your true intentions. At least by the third little "datelet" I would say. I wouldn't go past the fourth really. Then again I suppose how far apart these outtings were might make all the difference on that. LOL! ;) Try to, after a few outtings, start calling them dates. Then there's no confussion with why you are spending this time with her. There really shouldn't be any anyway, but it definently shows the woman you have that genuine interest in her.
Don't let time pass by and get delegated to that friendship role yet again. Obviously it takes a bit of time to get the courage up (at least it would for me!) to admitting those feelings. But don't wait too long or you might end up with just another "good friend".
I wish you luck. :)
2007-01-04 06:02:17 · answer #1 · answered by martheev98 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep the good friend role with the current person. Regardless of how you act or behave towards this person your "current" role of "good friend" will not change. Remaining a "good friend" has advantages (you can meet other people through her).
Now... Prepare yourself for a new person, but this time be: aggressive, confident, not quite as friendly... For example, when you meet someone new tell her exactly what you want. Do not be "nice" but instead be "polite, firm, and confident". End conversations yourself rather than continuing until they end them, show interest then back off and act disinterested. Some important things here: eye-contact, firm voice, somewhat aggressive (but not too aggressive).
This may seem disingenuine but it is the the proverbial "way of the world" and will actually get you what you want.
So, stop being so nice, remain a good-guy (that is, a gentlemen) but simply be more direct and tell people what you want.
2007-01-04 13:08:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
check this out i married my wife which was a good friend. hope u dont think this is corny but it worked for me.i asked her one day to take some pictures of me cause i was going to try this dating web site,after she had snaped a couple pictures i told her i needed a nude shot to exchange pics with other girls.she saw what i had and told me i didnt need to keep lookin for a girlfriend the next thing i knew she had me on my bed and the rest is a secret
2007-01-04 13:07:07 · answer #3 · answered by wil w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound a bit like me- too nice.Why dont you pretend you are a bastard and see what happens and then when she starts falling for you and you have for her just admit your tactic to her and sail away into the sunset and live happily ever after
2007-01-04 13:03:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should be more expressive and make the first move. If you like the person its either you tell her straight away or your actions need to speak louder than words. i.e. Holding her hands and etc.
Good luck.
2007-01-04 13:05:20 · answer #5 · answered by Rosy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change your look, Up date your style, and show more attitude.
(don't be cocky, just confident) and the women will start to look at you in a different light.
true!!
YOU have to be willing to change not just wish you could. Work on it and you will be getting action dude!
2007-01-04 13:03:42 · answer #6 · answered by Yahoo Answer Rat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know someone like that to and its because that is the way they act.
2007-01-04 13:04:18 · answer #7 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you need help.
2007-01-04 13:02:13 · answer #8 · answered by revolou 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry mate.. but im going through the same damn stuff these days!
2007-01-04 13:02:03 · answer #9 · answered by Home Boy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her out, may be she doesn't know your feelings ... or may be you just haven't found mrs. right...
2007-01-04 13:02:07 · answer #10 · answered by momof3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋