im scared of giving my son patt on the hand (like a Slap) bec he has been saying some bad words like F u nd B I T C H to me and i think he learned it from the daycare but they telll me that they wouldnt say a thing like that and now its become real bad, my husband travels for his job and so he can't really help me and when i think about patting his hand i feel so terrible inside what should i do?
2007-01-04 04:54:46 · 54 answers · asked by a tired mommy 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
If that was my kid... and he was cursing at me.. I'd beat his A S S I don't condone hitting children but as a single mother it is important that my children respect me... but... on the other hand, I've never had this problem so there would be no reason to discipline my babies... as they are perfect angels... I've done an amazing job raising them and I'm proud of them~Princess..~
2007-01-04 04:58:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋
It depends on his age as to the right method of discipline. A slap on the hand can come right back at you, with him wanting to slap you. If he's willing to say things like that, chances are he will want to hit as well. Unfortunately, you won't be able to bring this around right away, it will take time. Best thing is to explain to him this language is not allowed, especially to his mother. Have him apologize to you for using it and then use a time out or quiet time, time in his room. What ever you do that seems effective. The key is to be consistent, if you don't correct him every time and be quick about it, he won't change. He needs you to teach him it's not acceptable to you. Also try and see what's the underlying cause. Is he angry when he does this or does he think he's cool or being silly? Give him other words to use.
2007-01-04 06:37:13 · answer #2 · answered by HotMaMa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That happened to my cousin, she went through a period of constant cursing, and we had NO idea where it was coming from. We never did slap her on the hand or anything of that sort, but what worked, is we had a talk with her, and explained to her that those words were no no words, and after the talk, if she said them, we'd put her in time out for a little while, and then asked her if she knew why she was in there afterwards. I dont know how old your son is, so I dont know if this method will work. But, a little slap on the hand isnt so bad, it's not like you're taking a belt to his bottom.
2007-01-04 05:00:15 · answer #3 · answered by wellwtfok 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You got to punish him now, or else he will only worsen. A pat on the hand is a good way or theres always spanking him (not hard of course) If you feel bad know that its for his own good. If he continues to misbehave in this manner, pat him lightly on the mouth, although he may be a little young for this. There is no reason a kid as young as him should be cursing. Be sure to talk to him everytime you punish him as kids that age have a hard time realizing that punishment is for a reason.
2007-01-04 05:03:48 · answer #4 · answered by Eric H 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ok. I don't have kids but I'm going lend my opinion anyway. Discipline. Children need discipline. You need to put your foot down because noone should speak to you that way; especially your own child. If you are uncomfortable smacking his hand or his butt, tell him you won't put up with that in your own house. Then lock him in his room. Don't give him treats. Nothing that's a privelige to be earned. He may throw a fit, but giving in means empowering him with the knowledge that he can make you do things you don't want to do, which is spoiling him. It may be embarrassing or difficult for you to take, but be strong. Be assertive. Show him where he stands and that its because of you. He is safe because of you. Respect yourself as much as you would want him to respect himself. That should instill respect for himself as well as others. If this doesn't work, write Dr. Phil. Good Luck.
2007-01-04 05:41:34 · answer #5 · answered by stormgirlchaos 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you say that again you get a timeout
accelerate this to more severe punishment so he understands the consequences
Ask where he learned such words. If it is TV or movies or friends then cut those out of his life or monitir this exposure very closely.
Use the warning "when your father gets home he is going to paddle your behind or wash your mouth out with soap"
I had my mouth washed out with soap ONCE by my father
You pick up these words from adults around you or from other kids who pick them up from other adults. Plus today TV and movies use the F bombs alot.
Set boundaries and use the timeout. Finally ask how the daycare would discipline such behavior and mirror that discipline
2007-01-04 05:06:18 · answer #6 · answered by Steve P 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You have to make your son understand that those words are not acceptable to you and he needs to know you will not tolerate it. With my grandson it was standing in the corner that was most effective as a punishment. You can have a time out chair, stand in the corner, put him to bed, etc. My parents washed my mouth out with a bar of soap for using bad words. You have to find the most effective way to make him understand, even if its a swat on the behind. Spanking is not against the law. Letting your child do what ever he wants is a form of neglect.
2007-01-04 05:00:30 · answer #7 · answered by smartypants909 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Physical punishment is generally the worst way of treating children. You feel right if feel bad inside when you want to patt on the hand of your little boy.
I suggest you to ask him why he says such words to you? Most of the children dont know what the words mean. they just say it as an expression of anger. But anger is raised due to a reason.
So is it not better to avoid what you did which made him angry than to punish him for his ''Bad'' word.
If he is an age to understand your explanations, explain to him and talk with him but dont argue with children. They cant follow the string of argument and so they get angry.
Teach him what to say when he is angry in order to replace the bad words.
Besides you need to talk with his caretaker and there you act taugh and tell them not to use such words infront of the boy.
Good luck
Kiss your little boy for me
2007-01-04 05:04:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you feel you should than do it. A slap on the hand is not going to hurt him that bad. It's really the only way he's going to learn. Actually the law even says that as long as it's an open hand and you don't implement an object then it's not child abuse, so you don't have to worry about that. They have to learn......
2007-01-04 04:59:34 · answer #9 · answered by sqky15 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You do not have to hit him to change his behavior.
The best approach is always a clam and rational one.
He will have to learn the consequences of his actions.
Let him know very calmly that you do not approve of his language and specify the words.
TELL him he is not to use those words with you and get his agreement. Do not ASK him to stop using those words.
Let him know that you will provide him with a treat if he follows the rules at the end of the day.
You can make a chart, break it up into 2 hour groups so he can follow his progress and put a sticker up in each box is he behaves himself.
Keep it brief and try not to turn it into a negotiation or a lecture.
If he persists then you will have to punish his disobedience with time outs or Revocation of certain privileges that he enjoys, like TV and desert.
Good Luck
2007-01-04 05:02:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
If he's saying FU and B, and daycare is the only place he could have picked it up, you need to change daycares. Also he should be punished for saying those words. If you're against spanking then do something else.... time out or take away toys, but the longer you let him get by with it without being punished the harder your task will be.
2007-01-04 04:58:05 · answer #11 · answered by Ya Ya 6 · 8⤊ 1⤋