What is the life of a milispouse like?

Question

My husband and I will be meeting with a Navy recruiter on Tuesday. My husband is former Army (before he met me). I'm very unsure and uneasy about allowing him to enlist. Any information about the lifestyle and such would be so very helpful. Also, any suggestions for questions to ask the recruiter would also be very welcomed! Thank you all, and God Bless!

Answer 1

The life of a military is spouse is not an easy one. I'm sure you have heard or seen on t.v. how husbands deploy overseas for long periods of time. The long deployment is only part of him leaving. He also has to go to different places to train, which can last two to three weeks, depending on the situation. So plan, to be without him, a lot. Ugly as that sounds, it really isn't so bad. I'm a navy wife, so I'm not completely sure how the army is run, but this way there is a sea duty and a shore duty, three to four years at time for each. Sea is where he goes on deployments, shore is where he stays home, and just works on the base. There are many benefits, your medical is paid for, you can live in military housing, rent and utility bill free, you can shop at the exchange and commissary, if you chose to live out in town, you get a housing allowance, which usually covers the rent. There are many opportunities for your husband if he joins, he will get the G.I. Bill, he can go to college while he is enlisted, and so can you, there are programs out there for the military spouse. The military has a TSP program similar to a 401K, and on top of that a retirement. Your husband although gone a lot, won't always be away, and makes the time when he is home, that much better. He also gets extra pay when he is deployed, which means you can save up for when he comes home and take a really cool vacation together. The military has support for the military wives,
there are groups like the spousal support group, and the ombudsman, who are there to help you with any questions or concerns you might have. Or simply for someone to talk to when you need, someone to listen. Like anything else in life it has it's pro's and con's. To me the pro's outweigh the con's by a long shot. You will so proud of your husband and of yourself, with what you will accomplish and be able to pull through, in the first few years alone. That pride, determination, and dedication
will be the glue that keeps you together through it all. The Navy takes care of their own, you are his spouse, they do appreciate all
that you will do for him. I already got a couple of, I guess you can
call them awards, thanking me for supporting my husband. :)
Little things like that, let you know, it's about you, too. Go for it
experience a whole new life, find out how strong you actually are.

Answer 2

I'll answer your question from my perspective, as the son of a Sailor.

Growing up in a military family is not easy. My father was not present when I was born. He was basically in and out of my life due to deployments of 2, 4, 6, and even 8 months. With that and moving from place to place, I had to grow up fast.

But not all of it is bad. I got to see more of the Country this way, living in the Bay Area, California, Hawaii, Florida, and San Diego. I was able to see and experience how different American Cultures handle things differently. I have friends all over the World Today. I am a lot stronger of a person than I think I would have been otherwise.

If I had a chance to change from a "Navy-Brat" to a civi, I would not. I could not be any prouder of my father.

Answer 3

Okay, the other wives are making it sound like military live is the worst thing ever. If you are an independent person, like you sound, you will be fine. Don't get me wrong, its not an easy life dealing with deployments, and training, but it can but done. I know the Marine Corp has programs that help you get jobs or can help you get into college. I know some people may complain about the job availability, but if you don't have a college degree, your not going to get a great paying job anywhere, if you are just starting out. As far as the recruiter, make sure you know where he could possibly be stationed. With the USMC, it depends alot on what MOS (job) they have but it may be different in the Navy. Hopefully they will let him use his previous service to give him a higher rank upon completion of basic training. If so, you will get a higher pay and better housing. Good Luck!!

Answer 4

"allowing" him?

Yes, the decision should be made by both of you, but you sound like you're the adult and he's the child....

Maybe it isn't for you if you have to be that much in control - as sometimes just cause - they aren't allowed home or to phone - if sensitive items are missing for example.

Just as a disclaimer -i'm not saying you ARE controlling - I'm saying just that one word makes you SOUND like you are....hopefully I'm way wrong.

Answer 5

i'm a marine wife. i've been married to my husband for the past year, so i'm not a seasoned marine wife, but i have a pretty good handle on what's going on.

here's the cons that i have found:
-you no longer count!! you go to the naval hospital and they ask for your husband's social, not yours. you need him to get your ID, to take care of anything on base, housing, etc...
-it's hard to move around and keep a career. i would look into a business from home, daycare, or working on base. anyway you look at it, you will usually jump from job to job every few years and some employers will not hire you b/c they know that you may not be there long term. if you are a stay at home mom, then it's no problem though! they say that there are offices to help you relocate and find jobs, but that's a crock. maybe they can help if you want to work at subway....
-base housing isn't all that great. base housing here takes all of our BAH (housing allowance) and we have a/c issues in the summer and the house is a little small. some have rules about fencing for dogs and pet rules too.
-base schools can be good or bad. the base schools here are great, but we have to live in base housing to attend them. if we moved to a better house off base, then we would have to use town schools, which are awful in this area.
-deal with hubby gone for weeks, months or even years at a time. some handle this well, some don't. we were fine with deployments until we just had our son. it has been really rough on my husband and he is about to leave for 6 mnths and i know it will hurt his heart to be away from us for so long.

the pros:
-free healthcare and prescriptions etc...
-diff. place to live..can be fun to move around and see new places
-live in a safe environment. i like base housing b/c i feel secure on base. i know that it's not 100%, but it's nice knowing that there are armed PMO at the gate and people drive slow b/c of kids. there are pools on base and gyms and it's all open to you and your family.
-commissary and exchange. tax free shopping on base and good prices for groceries etc...


mainly, all in all, it's just like a regular life as a spouse. the guys are the ones who have to do most of the travel and deployments. it gets tricky when they are gone, though, b/c you turn from being a team into a single parent, however, other families are there to help each other out and you become one big family. when the guys are gone, us girls have outings with the kids all the time and support each other during the deployment, but you have to be outgoing enough to make friends. if you are a homebody and don't meet people, then you may get lonely fast.

ummm, really it's just like normal life after a while. get up, go to work, go home, cook dinner, play with the baby, go to bed.

the worst that can happen is he enlists for a few years and you hate it and he gets out and you don't do it again.....

good luck, hope i helped.

take care:)

EDIT:
i wanted to mention some things to think about.....
if he enlists make sure you get power of attorney ASAP. if he is on deployment, then you will be able to sign his name for whatever, whether you suddenly need to buy a new car or you need to sign your kid up for base day care....

also, i recommend you get in touch with who you are as a person. i'm pretty outgoing, confident, independent and adaptible, which has served me well. i don't sit home and mope around when my husband is thousands of miles away in another country. i take charge and still enjoy life. i make friends pretty easily and i don't let "uncle sam" push me around. if i need something done or have a question about it, then i figure out who i need to talk to and work it out.

also, if there is any hint of mistrust in your relationship, then the deployments will be tough. the guys have a tendency to act a little single while they are gone. they go to bars or clubs and try to have fun. i trust my husband and i know that he may be at a bar, but he'd rather be home with me, so it's all good. some friends of ours are the opposite. she can't handle knowing her husband is away and may be around other women. it messes with her mind.
so, something to think about.

Answer 6

I wouldn't want anyone in my family enlisting right now.

Answer 7

I think all they do is sweep the deck and at night they go and kill civilians and kids. Pretty basic.