I was a my husbands birthday party & there was this girl there which I became attracted to. Not cuzof her looks but cuz she made me happy. I had never been attracted to a girl b4 so this was odd for me. My husband knew & asked me if I would do a 3sum wit him & her I said if she would the yes but there were limits he agreed I asked her she said not right now she didnt know later on after I wasn't drunk any more I didn't really want to do it any more My husband told me if I would have a 3sum wit him & another girl then he would quit smoking Thats the only reason why I wanted to do a 3sum. I didn't realise how importent this was to him until he came home. He acted like he wanted to spend time wit me b4 he went to work but then when he got home at 630 he got online to look 4 another female 4 a 3sum & was on there til 1130pm! I was so mad! He has cheated on me b4 so when I think about it, it seems like a bad idea I dont want to & he already set up aday & girl what do I do he wants 2 so bad
2007-01-04 04:02:05 · 8 answers · asked by jharris8506 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I love hi so much I just want him to be happy and I don't know what to do I don't want to but I know it will make him happy and he knows I don't want to and he got mad and said you always change your mind
2007-01-04 04:12:36 · update #1
I'm giving you the same answer. If you don't want to do it then don't. It's your right to say 'No' if you want. You say you love him and want to make him happy, but it should go both ways. If he loves you he should want to make YOU happy too, and pushing you into something you obivously don't want to do isn't showing his love.
I hope you don't mind me getting a little more personal with this question, but I'm a little worried for your relationship honestly. It doesn't sound like a very good, very stable one. The reason I say this is because you say the girl at the party "made you happy". Perhaps you were only "attracted" to this girl because she was being nice to you? Is that not something you regularly get from your husband? Loving attention? I'm not with you and your husband all day every day, but if he's pressuring you into this it doesn't sound like he's really taking your feelings into consideration. Is this a common occurence? Does he pressure you into everything from who you sleep with to what kind of breakfast cereal is on the table in the morning? Like I said I don't want to overstep my bounds and I'm a little afraid I've done so, so I'll drop this right here. Just wanted to let you know it was something I was concerned with as an outside observer.
My main point is if you don't want to do this don't. You sound like a kind, giving person and the only reason you want to do this is because HE wants to do this. From what I can tell you don't deserve to be treated like this. If he leaves you over this or cheats on you...again, well he doesn't seem that much of a catch anyway so not a big loss it would seem to me. You're a person, not a doormat. Don't allow him to wipe his feet off on you.
2007-01-04 05:40:16 · answer #1 · answered by martheev98 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of you should not drink, it appears that drinking makes you become a whole other person with a bi twist and if this is the case lay off the booze. on the other hand I'm confused because even if you thought she was nice to you what was it that made your husband want to have a 3 sum with you and another women. have you and him done this before ? was it ever discussed for him to feel like he could ask you. and the worst part you actually asked her so tell the truth what's really going on. your story sound like y"all had the 3 sum and he kept on screwing the other girl is this it? if so it's your fault you never invite someone else to join in and your married . that's what happens when your drunk and feeling nasty.
2007-01-04 04:14:48 · answer #2 · answered by sexyswells42 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do think it is a bad idea. I have a friend that had a 3some and now her husband sleeps with that other gilr all the time (with out her). If he has cheeted before than this is REALLY a bad idea. If he is not happy with just you you need to get rid of him. You also should not be doing something you are not comfortable with. If he loves you he would not pressure you into doing something you do not want to do.
2007-01-04 04:11:39 · answer #3 · answered by bb77blueeyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you were drunk when you said that, and now that you have your senses back, you know that is not something you would like to do. If he loves you he will understand. Also, let him know that you would be uncomfortable given the fact that he has cheated on you before. Good luck.
2007-01-04 04:10:02 · answer #4 · answered by In love with Life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make it clear to him that this is something you've decided you don't want to do after all. If he's cheated on you before, I'd fear he'd see y'alls "playmate" on the side anyway.
3somes and moresomes aren't for everyone...if your relationship isn't VERY strong and it's not something you both want to do, it can destroy your relationship.
2007-01-04 04:07:15 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awww.. Sorry to hear that. I think if you don't want to do it, just say it. NO means NO. its your right to say No. Hopefully , he'll understand.
2007-01-04 04:06:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can 'make' you do anything, that you don't want to do!
2007-01-04 04:09:09 · answer #7 · answered by DORY 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him and tell him you decided not to and then give him your reasoning.
2007-01-04 04:07:07 · answer #8 · answered by *~ riddles ~* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋