he has cheated several times before and collected many more phone numbers since. he would call the girls behind my back and hide the numbers. he says for me to let it go, but part of me can't. is this fair? can he be completely trusted again?
2007-01-04 03:53:47 · 25 answers · asked by amanda s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, he's using you as a doormat. End it as you will never feel secure with him.
2007-01-04 03:56:17 · answer #1 · answered by Joe S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well just take it slow. I have the same problem as you and I know it sucks. I've had trust issues since I was born and I still do. You can't help the way you feel and If you feel like you can't trust him then don't. It takes a long time to heal for some when you have been betrayed and at that time you should give yourself a break. Is this guy really worth it? If he is then just be cautious and if he does it again he's not worth it now is he.. Just as the saying goes, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Don't worry, do something you enjoy. Something like a hobbie or sport that can get your mood up. It just takes time and patience and having the ability to forgive and move on, and that for me is the hardest part. Hope I helped :)
2016-03-29 07:24:03 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on if you are with him because you KNOW you are with him because you are secure, healthy human being who will ultimately benefit, learn and grow from this partnership. There are times in partnerships where a person will lash out and hurt you and make the wrong choices due to issues they are sorting through.
Which brings me to my next point, was there ever love and respect from him in your relationship and this is a new thing due to him trying to learn, grow and work through past issues? You need to have resolved why he cheated in the first place, perhaps go and talk to someone...
Also, do you really truely believe that he does love and respect not only you, but himself and this relationship?
Are you with him because you would rather be with someone that treats you like **** than alone? If the answer is NO and YES, dump him.
If he has cheated in the past and you both feel you can make this work in the future, he has to realise you have a RIGHT to distrust him and he has to realise he has to EARN your trust.
However, if you can't ever trust him, why make yourselves go through all this?
Relationships are work, he needs to start putting in overtime and you need to make sure you're doing your part too.
2007-01-04 04:02:01 · answer #3 · answered by Lady M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry I am very closed minded about this. I believe that once someone has shown you they cannot be faithful or trusted, I don't need to get a second reminder. Especially if it has happened more than one time. If someone truly and I mean truly loves you and cares about you they will do their best not to do anything to hurt you in any way. Bottom line, even if it is harsh, if I can't trust someone, I can't be with them either. This is just my opinion. I say make a clean slate and move on to someone who wants to treat you as you deserve to be treated.
2007-01-04 03:58:59 · answer #4 · answered by I love the flipflops 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say he has broken your trust time and time again, why would you still trust him. Trust has to be earned and it seems like he has not earned it at all. You need to kick him to the curb and move on. There are men out there that dont cheet.
Once a cheet always a cheet.
2007-01-04 03:58:15 · answer #5 · answered by bb77blueeyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can he be completely trusted AGAIN? Doesn't sound like he ever could...
It's your choice to tolerate the behavior or not, but if you choose to do so ask yourself why. Why stick with a lying cheater when you can be on your own and happy?
2007-01-04 03:56:49 · answer #6 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i dont think you should trust, by wht you said he sounds like a complete casanova or a cheat, i know it'l be difficult to leave him n just 4get him but trust me life goes on, im passing tht stage myself, my boyfriend cheated me 4 some other girl n i left him with so much difficulty but im coping up, wish the same 4u
2007-01-04 04:05:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer or you wouldn't be asking the question. But...
NO!NO!NO!
Obviously he can't be trusted. You know that. He's proven it over and over and over.
You must have low self esteem to allow yourself to be trashed and degraded like this. Please get some therapy to figure out why you think you deserve such a low life. Because if you don't figure it out, you will end up with one jerk after another.
And if you choose to stay with him, you must enjoy being treated like crap on some level or enjoy the drama.
2007-01-04 03:59:17 · answer #8 · answered by Karen L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once someone screws you over it never gets better, the second time around is always worse. Trust me, ive been down that path before and it wasnt fun.
2007-01-04 03:56:36 · answer #9 · answered by Afro-Joe the American Hero! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a really stupid question. You're kidding right? Do you really think that little of yourself that you'd let a guy cheat more than once on you? If so, you should stop dating immediately, and get some counseling.
2007-01-04 03:57:32 · answer #10 · answered by cey12000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely NOT! Once a cheater always a cheater. And it's easier to KEEP trust than it is to re-BUILD trust. He should have never put you in the position that you had to re-build it!
2007-01-04 03:56:25 · answer #11 · answered by balooney2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋