partners mother is driving me mad!! HELP?

Question

i have been with my partner for 4years now.he has 2kids from a previous relationship.i love his 2kids as if there my own.the problem is his mother.anytime i see her,i have to put up with her talking bout the kids mother.i no i have to listen about her for the kids sake&if its to do with them,but their names get mentioned.all she ever says is wat a ***** she is&wat she has done yrs ago.i hate havin 2see her.me&my partner cud be in his mums house,but whenever he leaves the room she starts talking 2me bout her.she says nothing infront of him.i said it 2my partner&he said it 2his mum 2stop but its a waste of time.shes obsesed wit her. i dont think i deserve 2put up with this. anyone have any advice. thanks.xx

Answer 1

I guess your gay...the problem is your partners mother is having a hard time ecepting the fact that her boy is a homo. Give it time and be respectful and polite she may come around and except you for a person rather than a sick gay dude

Answer 2

If she's talking to you about something(someone) you don't want to talk about. Stop her in her tracks while she's talking about it. It' been 4 years and you'll have to deal with the mothers for a long time if this relationship lasts. So I'd say it's time for a talk. Your turn. Let your partners mother know that you don't want to talk about the ex, no matter how awful she was. Its over, and you and your partner are great together and you'd rather talk about the great future as opposed to the nasty past. So when she brings it up, especially if it's in front of the children, stop her because it's not healthy for kids to feel any kind of animosity toward their parents by a loved one. I'm sure it's in a way her way of bonding with bashing the old woman. (my mother in law and I have a little fun about the ex) But make sure the children don't have to hear it. If you don't want to talk about the other woman, you have to say something. If you've been with your partner for 4 years now you should feel comfortable enough with his mother to speak frankly.

Answer 3

That Grandmother needs to shut up. She should not be talking about them children's mother like that, especially in front of the kids. No matter what, that is still their mother. Tell her that if she can not control her mouth, especially in front of the kids, do not come around. You should not have to listen to this, it is not your fault. If she does it again, after partner leaves the room, call him back in the room and say, your mum is doing it again. Look at mum and say, I do not want to hear it, it is not my problem. I can see her doing the same to you, if you and him ever broke up. Every time she start, stop her. If she gets mad, so be it.

Answer 4

Welcome to the world of pain in the A&& mother in laws. My mother is the same way with my brothers wives and kids. All mothers are. They think they can always do a better job of raising the kids themselves. But somehow I think they are just making up for what they didn't do for us.

You're not the only one and she's not the only mother in law.

Next time you are alone and she starts talking about something you don't like. Just get up and walk away without saying anything and go find your husband. Eventually you will be put in a position that requires you to tell your man that his mother is a pain in the butt and you're sick of hearing about the kids mother from his mother

Answer 5

You need to sit down with your partner and agree a strategy.

Get him to walk out of the room and get him to listen to what she is saying then to come straight back in and both of you confront her.

Tell her that neither of you want to hear about her and that if she continues you will leave and not come back until she agrees not to mention her again.

This does work because in my first marriage I had the same thing and this was what we did.

She will be annoyed to start with but she will come round.

Answer 6

she wants to make u feel uncomfortable , thats clear
so next time ask her first to tell u a story about this ideal woman , tell her that u start writting a book as u are fascinated with all her stories and just in case ur" mother in law" will forget them u will have them written , so u wont miss them

oh dear , dont pay too much attention , i know its easy to say but the more she sees u get upset the more she will come to u with it

i wish u luck

Answer 7

Tell her you and your partner don't talk badly about the kid's mother, they can't help it she's their mother. And when the kids get older, they can come to their own conclusions and make their own decisions about her. Stop already with the bashing, it's the adult thing to do. If she continues, leave the room.

Answer 8

Just tell her that if she doesn't have anything nice to say - keep her mouth shut. You need to lay down the law. Tell her to live in the NOW, and not in the past. Her time could be better spent - she won't have anyone to talk to if you stop listening!!

Answer 9

She knows what she's doing.

I do not put up with people like her. I would say - 'Enough already, you've told me all of that before several times. Do not ever talk about 'her name' to me again.

She will be blown away, shocked but I guaranty she will NEVER speak of that woman again.

That's how you fight sly underhanded people - you bring it out in the open.

She doesn't like you now and what do you care if she still doesn't like you?

Answer 10

i know this sounds harsh but tell her that your not interested and to keep her mouth shut because its doing your head in....my ex's mum was exactly the same and in the end i just told her to button it, if she didn't have anything nice to say, then say nothing at all...it soon shut her up....dont tolerate it, she may be your b/f's mum but theres a line to be drawn, who wants to know about his ex...it's like she is trying to remind you of her at every opportunity...just tell her that you don't want to know, or leave the room when she starts banging on...tell your fella too, maybe he can have a word with her