Sister in law getting divorced, what do I do with the picture?

Question

We (husband and I) were given a picture of my sister-in-law wedding picture. THe picture is of the whole family. THe bride, groom, parents and sibblings, my husband and I. It is 10x8. She had it framed, and was a gift. THey are getting divorced. Should I leave the picture hanging on our wall, or do we take it down and use the frame for something else. WE live in the same town, so it would be noticable if we took it down or if we left it up. We have not had divorces in this family so we don't know what would be proper.

It is my husbands sister.

The divorce is getting real nasty. I don't want to hurt her by taking the picture down, because she is the one who gave it to us.

I don't want to seem cold hearted. If I take it down will it seem that I don't care. But if I leave it up will it be a harsh reminder for her?

Answer 1

I would definitely take it down. After my divorce, I really didn't want to see any pictures of my ex and me together. Perhaps you could replace that picture with one of your sister in law and family that doesn't have her ex in it? Maybe a childhood picture of her and your husband? If you're close to your mother in law, you could ask her what she would do.
I don't think your sister in law would be offended if you removed the picture. In fact, she'll probably appreciate that you're trying to be considerate of her feelings in this difficult time.

Answer 2

Ok, first of all, let me commend you for working out the problems you guys had in your marriage. That's great, and even though you're paying attorney's fees for a divorce that didn't happen, aren't you glad in the long run that it didn't happen? On the wedding, how does your husband feel about going? Does he feel it's necessary for you all to go? What if just he goes, since it's his family? I know that's a bummer for you being stuck at home with 2 little ones, but sometimes that's the way it works when you have the little ones. That way, instead of buying 4 plane tickets, you're buying 1. He can share a hotel room with another male relative (maybe a brother?), and leave right after the wedding, and get there the day before, and that saves on the hotel expense as well. Also, on driving, that's a LONG way in a car with 2 small children. I also doubt you'd save much, with gas prices being what they are, and not looking to go down much anytime in the near future. And you also live in Illinois, state of the outrageous gasoline taxes! I think MOST people, when they're planning a destination wedding, expect that fewer people would be able to attend, simply due to financial constraints. Your sis in law shouldn't be trying to guilt you guys into going, and taking a trip that you quite possibly can't afford right now, in my opinion, her attitude is a little bit unreasonable, given your family's circumstances. Actually, it's unreasonable given anyone's circumstances. So, I'd talk to your hubby about this, and get his take on it. See what he thinks, since it is his family we're talking about here. Support him what whatever he decides here, and if that means you stay home with the kids, then do that. Don't make him feel badly for going without you, that will only cause resentment. Best of luck to you both!

Answer 3

It is a picture of the entire family enjoying a celebration. Unfortunately there is a divorce now but the picture is of a happy time. If the sister in law had died would you take the picture down? You will have to decide if your brother or ask your brother if it would bother him if the picture stays up.

Answer 4

first see how your husband feels about it. Talk it over with him since it is his family.

Also, how do you feel about it. Do you want to take it down? it is your house too don't forget. Why don't you have another family pic taken and just replace the pics? if you feel comforable enough, ask you sister-in-law what she would be comfortable with

hold on to the picture no matter what you do. you or someone else may want to look at it in the future, and as much as some people may want to forget about it, this wedding did happen and they had some good times.

Answer 5

Is there another room where you can hang it? Replace with another photo, perhaps of just your family, of the same size.
It is up to you to keep or discard, but I would keep the picture, perhaps put the new picture in the "old" frame?
There is no etiquette for this, it is up to the individual. It was gift, so, as receipient, it is you decision. What do you think your brother would like? Is the divorce amicable? If so, probably no harm in leaving the picture where it is.

Answer 6

If it were me, I would take it down, and if it is of a size that it would fit in a scrap book, do that. It was a family photo taken in much happier times, you do not want to forget those times, just the bad times. Put it in non-acid paper, and store it flat if it is too big for a book.
If someone notices, and comments, tell them that it is put away out of respect for the now divorced former couple. I don't think anyone would find fault with that.

Answer 7

If I understand it right this picture is a picture of your brother's wedding. And now they are divorced? Does she still visit you?
I think you should ask your brother what to do. If he thinks it's all right, keep it on the wall. Or else take it away.
It's a bit more complicated if they have children.

Answer 8

You should not leave a such a wedding photo hanging when the marriage no longer exists. You are free to keep the photo as a memento, but it is rude for those visitors to come to your house and be reminded only of their marriage gone wrong.

Answer 9

Why don't you ask your sister-in-law? You could say something like, "I'd really like to keep that picture up because it was a gift and it reminds me of you, but I wasn't sure if you'd be comfortable."

Answer 10

Keep the picture but take it down.