Should I FIGHT for him????????????
I have started seeing a Polish guy, and fallen for him BIG TIME. He likes me too, the only problem is his girlfriend, who he left back in Poland six months ago.
She knows about me,(well she knows he see's other girls,but she's coming to England in another 6 months, and they are going to get married in four years.
I don't know what to do.
Should I stay with him in the hope he'll fall for enough to leave her behind for good?
Or get out now before I really start to love him?
I KNOW he really likes me, but they go back nine years on and off(she actually married someone else when they were split last time,and had a child with him who is now 6, but is now with my lover again)
Half of me wants out to save myself the pain..............but walking away from him will the hardest thing I ever do....especailly as I'll always think 'what if'..................
HELP!
2007-01-04 03:18:21 · 48 answers · asked by CHARISMA 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he belongs to her babe, you cant win here,walk now while you still can...he isnt the one for you, :-(
2007-01-04 03:30:04 · answer #1 · answered by ginger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're probably already experiencing hurt and insecurity. Though these can sometimes be the outcome of loving someone, that's not what love is or should be about. Love should be about respect, trust, friendship (a lot of people over look these aspects) - you'll never trust him whilst this other girl is in the equation, if he can tell you he is marrying someone else whilst engaging you in a relationship at present, there's no respect there and it doesn't sound like you have much of a friendship. Unfortunately I've seen this happen with friends, the guy makes it quite clear the situation re: he has a girlfriend, the female hope's that he'll fall for her and hangs on, whilst lying to herself in the process that she is happy as things are - this is never the case. I'm afriad, all I've ever seen come from this situation is a lot of pain. If you break away you my let him know what he's missing. At the moment, he seems to have the best of both worlds - has he once acknowledged how much pain he is bound to put you through??? sometimes when we like people, we're up so close we lose persepective. Not for one second do I think it's easy, far from it - but if he loves you, he'll come to you.
2007-01-04 03:45:05 · answer #2 · answered by Bee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, right for one thing i think you should get out of this situation as quick as you can as you know in the end you will be the one getting hurt. When couples go back ages and there have been problems before and loads of stuff you dont even probably know about it aint worth getting in to. So its best to not fight for this guy. But you thinking what if isnt going to change him. He could have girls all over the place some guys have the charm of getting any girl to fall in love with them. He hasnt seen her for a while and hes telling you about her, but when he sees her again how do you know he wont fall inlove with her all over again. And then he will leave her and then expect to come back to you if it all falls through with her.
2007-01-04 03:30:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust me the hardest thing that you could ever do you have done . you've been sharing a guy with another girl and know about it. Get some back bone and leave him he is just using you for one thing since his girlfriend isn't around.I don't agree in fighting over a man ,but if you are at least make it be someone worth it. He has put it out there for you his feeling for his girlfriend and how they are going to get married in 4 years.So my question is does she know about you or does he tell you that he told her of you. you got to admit he is good he told you all this and your still thinking about if your goin to get your heart broke .Move on and get a guy that doesn't have a girlfriend.
2007-01-04 03:29:22 · answer #4 · answered by shorty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WALK AWAY BEFORE ITS TOO LATE. And it may well be that its too late already, but you wont be able to see what everyone else can see, its not right, he has got unfinished buisness else where, dont interfear, let nature run its course, dont start to think "what if" about the past, start to think "i cant wait" about the future, cause one (very special) day, you will meet another and you will fall head over heels again in love with him. quit whilst your ahead i say girl!!!!
It will make you feel insecure and you will lose your confidence. TRUST Me i know, i have had such bad relationship and it made me a different person altogether, i was bubbly and outgoing but then i changed and i started to not look in people's faces when i walked down the street, and put my head down cause i couldnt bare to be looked at. Stupid things, like look at other girls who you beleive are better looking than you, when really you shouldnt be comparing yourself in the first place. I aint saying you feel like this now, but you will, its inevitable. You wont be able to trust him either because you know he has unfinished buisness, no matter how much he tells you he loves you and tries to make you feel good about yourself, when you aint with him you will feel insecure and then EVENTUALLY you will start to resent him for making you feel that way, but really it would be half your fault because deep deep down inside of you, you know what to do, move on and look to the future. I know its HARD. but just try.
Goodluck and takecare hon x
2007-01-04 03:29:13 · answer #5 · answered by london lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's ultimately his desision. You didn't say how long you have been dating. If it's less than 6 months, Id say go on your own way. If it has been a real relationship for a while, tell him to decide. Tell him it's too much Drama, too hard for you. And he needs to stop wasting your time. There are so many men out there hon.
Who plans to be engaged for four years? Seems like he's commitment phoebic
2007-01-04 03:25:38 · answer #6 · answered by an_awsome_woman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All right, here it goes MEN ARE SIMPLE! When they love, they love with a passion, and when they want to be with that one special woman there is nothing in the world that could stop them. He has been with her for a long time and he is still hanging around even thoe she got married and had a child with her husband. My advice to you is to GET OUT! It is only obvious that she will always be his one and only love. Save yourself; be free from him the sooner the better for you!
2007-01-04 03:32:42 · answer #7 · answered by Ms Pollyanna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know its painful but do you think, have I just been keeping his bed warm ? He's been taking you for a mug and enjoying you too boot. Most Polish guys are coming to this country for a while to build up funds to enable themselves to have a better life back home.
2007-01-04 03:37:35 · answer #8 · answered by KEITH M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you have a chance if you want to fight for this guy. If he really loved his girlfriend, he wouldn't wait four years to marry her. I think that he may still be involved with her only because it is comfortable for him, and he may be scared to let her go. So, you should definately fight for him.
2007-01-04 03:34:25 · answer #9 · answered by princess kiki 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do in this situation is walk away. Yeah-you probably will think,'What if?' from time to time-but you need to find someone who doesn't already have emotional ties to someone else. He already loves her-they've had this relationship (though on-off) for 9 years. He is probably allways going to return to her.
You will find someone who is all yours in time. Give yourself that chance now-get out there and meet truly single guys,instead of wasting your time with someone that you know,deep down,will soon be gone.
2007-01-04 03:24:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would walk away now. You are only opening yourself up for a lot of heartache. They go back a long way. Find yourself an unattached guy. One who can love you with no strings attached. You are only heading for heartache if you keep on with this romance. Best of luck to you.
2007-01-04 03:22:21 · answer #11 · answered by JillPinky 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋