My daughter is getting married in March. I'm very happy. I told her that I would love to help pay for her wedding. I paid for the Church ($500), the reception ($3800), the cake ($525), flowers ($650), Tux's ($400), Wedding dress ($900), a honeymoon in Mexico ($4100) and numerous other expenses that I said I would take care of..and I have and everything is paid in full!
However, last night she called and "told" me to pick up 150 stamps for the invitation (BTW, I paid for also). I was a little offended that she wants me to pay for stamps. I told her no, that she should pay the $40 or so..NOW she's mad that I won't pay for that.
Please understand, I am a single father that pay's child-support, her mother hasn't offered to pay a dime but wants to run the show...and I'll be paying for her and her husband's family to eat at the reception (the man she cheated on me with) and I don't have a problem with that and I will be gracious of course.
I just feel a little put out.....
2007-01-04 03:12:38 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I haven't said a word to avoid any problems..am I over reacting...should I grin and bear it???
What do you think?????????
2007-01-04 03:13:42 · update #1
My dad was in this same situation when my sister got married. And he just grinned and beared it! It was awful for him, but it isn't worth ruining a relationship over. Your daughter is being a little snotty about it though...If I were her, I would have bought the stamps on my own and not have thought twice about it...Maybe you should sit her down and talk to her about how you feel. Basically tell her exactly what you said here. Hopefully she would be understanding enough...
Lucky for my dad, I got married less than a year after my sister, and I let him have complete control over the planning, and I even pitched in a few dollars and bought my own stamps!
2007-01-04 03:55:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This won't be the popular answer - but grin and bear it for now. What you are doing is a selfless act of love and everyone should be so good to their children (within their means). The fact that you are footing the bill and not complaining about her mother and stepfather shows a great deal of character. You must really love your daughter.
So, to my point: I say pay for the damn stamps or jeapordize ruining your daughter's happy day (that YOU spent so much money on). It seems as if she is a little spoiled and selfish (maybe a result of your guilt from the divorce?), but don't ruin this time for any of you. You've already shown that you are the better person, so continue to be that way over this petty little stamp thing.
I do think you have every right to be upset with her, but remember, children are what we teach them to be. Maybe it's time (AFTER the wedding) to sit down and have a talk with her. If she can't afford $40 for stamps, how is she going to live the rest of her life? Put your foot down after all of this and make her start behaving like an adult.
Deal with it for now, go to the wedding, have a blast and be happy. Afterward though, I think it would be wise to take a look at what your daughter has grown up to be and decide if you can live with her behaving like a spoiled brat.
2007-01-04 11:24:03 · answer #2 · answered by lookinforanswers 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like your daugheter needs to grow up a bit. Does she work for a living? Is she paying for anything? I would recommend that you put your foot down, since once she is married you no longer have to support her. She needs to take responsibility. The cost for wedding stamps is a bit more than $40 or so. Typically an invitation stamp is a 67 cent stamp, so that makes it more around $100 for 150. Regardless, Mom should contribute as well...so saying no is perfectly within your realm.
2007-01-04 11:23:16 · answer #3 · answered by Jenny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to sit and have a talk with her. Outline what you have done and how much you have spent. You dont want a big fued prior to the big day but let her know that you felt like a doormat when she told you to pick up stamps. Not asked but expected you to do so. Don't let her be a Bridezilla! You have every right to feel put out. And if your daughter is old enough and mature enough to get married then is old enough and mature enough to have this discussion with you and offer an apology for her actions.
2007-01-04 11:24:27 · answer #4 · answered by his temptress 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women tend to get a little crazy when it comes to their wedding. I think you have done more than enough for your daughter. The groom's parents should have paid for the honeymoon, the tuxes, the rehearsal dinner, and the boutennieres. I would invite your daughter over and talk to her about this. The bride's parents are in charge of the wedding (that include's the bride's mother). My parents are divorced and each of them paid $5,000 towards my wedding. My husband's parents paid for our honeymoon ($3,000). Call your ex wife and ask her to contribute. Good Luck, I hope everything works out.
2007-01-04 13:09:31 · answer #5 · answered by *Just Married* 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why you paid for the honeymoon, You sure are a nice dad. I think you are maybe too nice and being taken advantage of. They can get their own stamps. Just tell her you don't have time to go to the post office, and since they're for her wedding invitations, she probably should pick them out herself. Then do not offer to pay. Enough is enough.
2007-01-04 11:22:53 · answer #6 · answered by Firespider 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would feel very insulted if I were you. You need to tell your daughter that you agreed to "help" pay for her wedding, not PAY for every last bit of it. You've done more than enough and I think its about time you sit her and her fiance down, and tell them how it is. You've put so much into their wedding and dont feel your getting the respect or appreciation in return, and from here on out it is up to them to find a way of paying for their remainding expenses. Tell them you love them and your glad you helped out so much, but the responsibility is no longer yours. End of Story. Good luck and dont give in, stick up for your self.
2007-01-04 14:04:11 · answer #7 · answered by ELW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have done MORE than enough!! I thought that the groomsmen were supposed to pay for their own tuxes, and the groom's family traditionally paid for the honeymoon. I think her mother can fork out the $40 to pay for stamps. Your daughter is being inconsiderate of you, you have done so much for her already!!
2007-01-04 12:53:26 · answer #8 · answered by jenna11rn 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow it is amazing that you have paid for that much! My fiance and I are paying for half of our weddig (we have been living together for 5 years) my parents have offered to put in 10 thousand and we put in the rest. I think it is fair. My fiance and I both work and we own a house so we are quite capable. Your daughter is going to be on her own once she is married and I don't think that asking her to pay for her own stamps is a big deal. She is a big girl who is getting married suck it up! That might be a little harsh to her but she needs to understand otherwise she won't be able to stand on her own two feet once she is out of the house. Good luck you have taken on a lot!
2007-01-04 11:57:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your daughter is taking you for granted. It is ridiculous that she would be upset that she has to pay $40 for stamps. My father owns and investment company and is very wealthy and I am lucky if I get $5 in my Christmas card. I even put myself through college because he wouldn't help out. I think you are more then generous by taking care of your daughter's arrangements and she needs to be more gracious and appreciate all that you do for her.
2007-01-04 11:20:11 · answer #10 · answered by NoTurningBackNow 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋