The reason people have kids: to conform or because they really want them?

Question

I see alot of girls my age mid-20s that start developing a baby fetish once they see everyone around them having kids. So sometimes I wonder if people have kids due to a sheep persona or just wanting to fit in instead of biological urge.

Answer 1

I knew from an early age, maybe 8, that I wanted to have children. I would not have children just to fit in. I enjoy spending time with my children and watching them learn.

Answer 2

good question. My first pregnancy was unplanned so I might have a different viewpoint coming from a perspective of a gal who NEVER wanted kids. (and now I have four! lol!) As you get older certain things in life start to get repetitive and even boring at times. Your interests change as they mature. Sometimes wanting children is the next phase in a healthy relationship. Having babies connects partners in new ways and develops a type of love between baby and parent that is beyond comprehension. I do think some people want babies for the wrong reasons. Parenting is very hard work and changes you forever, but it is also so rewarding if you are generous enough to put your baby first. It is not a position for the self centered! The miracle of birth is so complicated to explain but the feeling you have as a mother can be purely biological. The healthiest age to have a baby is in your 20's so perhaps this is why your gal friends have it on the brain. They might feel pressure to have babies before the risk factor of complications goes up and if they want to marry first, thier clocks might be "ticking". Tell them to start babysitting a lot, and if they still feel the urge then maybe it's real.

Answer 3

I waited until I was 30 to have a child and it's the best decision I've ever made. It's made me a better, more patient person and everything I do now has a purpose. I strive to be a better person for him, I strive to learn more for him.

It truly makes me happy to see him happy and he's almost always happy, so I'm very lucky indeed.

Having a child is hard work and not for everyone. In my 20's I didn't think I wanted children, then I changed my mind. Why? Because I felt as though I was empty in a way and I felt I had a lot to teach a child. If we want to make this world a better place, we need to start with our children. Teach them kindness, patience, loving.

I don't mean to sound preachy, and I by no means am saying that someone is empty because they don't have children, you can live a full happy life with out them. As the first person said, it depends on the person.

Answer 4

I can't anser for everyone, but I can answer for myself. I already have two toddlers, so it's not like I would be getting pregnant for the first time. I've changed poopy diapers, stayed up until 4 am with a sick newborn, went out to buy a can of formula instead of dying my hair when it needed it. Yet I still want another baby. I loved every minute of the diapers, late night feedings and lack of sleep. I want another one in a couple of years because I know there's no way we could have one right now. My husband is getting ready to start a new job. I'm getting ready to start a new job. It just couldn't happen. We do plan on having another one. I get urges all the time but I'm waiting. I miss the way a baby fits in the crook of my arm. I miss the baby smell. I even miss those cute little sleepers...lol. To answer your question, I think it depends on the woman.

Answer 5

I had my first child when I was 18, now that I am 20, I am planning on having another one in a few months. None of the people I hang out with have any kids, I just want another. Though my first pregnancy was an accident, I never wanted to not have him. He is a wonderful little boy. I never really wanted children before I became pregnant with my first, but the minute I found out I was pregnant, my husband and I were so happy about it.

But then there is my sister who doesn't want either of her children. He has a three year old who is in speech therapy, and a seven month old that is the size, and developmental stage of a four month old, he also was not a premature baby. Her children are not her first priority. Her and her boyfriend come first in her life. She is also two years older than me. So it really does depend on the woman.

Answer 6

There are many reasons why women in their 20's want to have children. For many, there is the biological urge to procreate and the financial and emotional stability available to start a family (for women who are married or in other long-term relationships and have their finances straightened out). Many women are also aware that they are most likely to have healthy pregnancies and infants in their 20's, and that the chances of complications and genetic disorders for the child increase for women who are pregnant in their late 30's and 40's.

There are some women, however, who are most attracted to the attention they receive when pregnant or with a small infant. There are some women who are simply lonely and believe that a child will fill their need for love. And, of course, there are always going to be some unplanned pregnancies. And don't forget that there are many women out there who do NOT want to have children right now, or even ever, but are more happy pursuing educational, career, and other relationship goals.

In short, there are a lot of reasons that women in their mid 20's seem to all want children... but for the most part it is simply because we are stable adults that would like to move on to the next stage of our lives - parenthood.

Answer 7

I'm 23 and I've wanted a baby since I was 16. (I now have a beautiful one month old.) I have this thing about talking to other girls I don't know and I don't have a lot of close friends. I guess for me it's just the idea of having someone to motivate you to do everything you can for them; someone you know will stay in your life forever. That's just me though. I think I know what you mean, it seems a lot of times that people around you have kids all at once. That does seem strange to me.

Answer 8

Most of my friends started having their baby's way before i had my first. I remember when everyone was like now it's your turn! I was like "i don't think so". I don't think it has to do with other people around having children but more of a personal preference. A lot of women in their 20s wan to have children because they feel as if they are getting "old". Now a days women like to have their children young to kind of get it over with. Personally i had my first when my husband and i were ready to, now pregnant with our second and Prolly our last because your first is three and we didn't want our children to be too different in age. Personally i don't understand why anyone would have a child just to "fit" in?!!

Answer 9

All women are differnt dear. Some love babies since they were 5 years old. Some women are more motherly than others. I wouldn't accept the sheep concept one bit. It's a woman's nature to want or adore babies. Like I said before, some are more so than others. Like me, didn't develop it until I was pregnant (not planned), but he's here now and I love all kinds of babies now.

Answer 10

It's both; there's definitely a cultural componant to it, but it's actually weaker in modern western cultures than in other cultures. (In some places, you were not considered married or adult until you'd produced a kid.) There's some biological drive for some people that makes them want to reproduce - all animals have that, it's how animals make more animals.

I am lacking that drive and am a big proponant of cultural evolution - creating things that persist and influence minds, like Dawkins and Paglia propose.