I am 25 years old and my sister is 23 years old. She has two children. I love my sister very much and now she is just drinking way to much. Our dad put her in treatment three times. Each time she told us that we are spending money for nothing. My mom keeps her grandchildren. I just want to know what else we can do for her before she kills her self with all her drinking. Please help
2007-01-04 02:54:37 · 9 answers · asked by Stunna 25 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I was having the same prob. We are the same age and so are our sisters but I have 2 kids and she has none. Her thing is shes still young so she has the right. I told her she has the right to drink if sh chooses to but there is a time and a place..and getting totally hammed and scanking around was not the right thing to do. Still she s very hard headed so then i got an idea when we do go out she tends to drink faster and much more than anyone... The family stopped going out with her (she doesn't have many friends, and wont go to bars by her self) but she does dink at home.. where she can do as she likes (witch is fine as long as shes safe) We have had a falling out with our family since our grandparents passed 11 years ago but we have all come together for reunions and holidays since last year. I told my sister many times that she needs help same prob...I'm fine, I know i drink alot but..but...but. She is a pretty girl who cant stand to look bad/unattactive so with her there was really only one way to get through to her....I gathered all the photo's all the videos and anything else that would show her how she is and looks when shes drunk... after gathering all the bad I gathered the good. One day after she had ruined my 4 year anniversary with my man by getting violent with me (witch you dont do in my family, especially to the one whos ALWAYS had her back) I told her she would get whats coming to her...and she has...later that month I surprised her after school and took her to lunch. to a nice quiet place where we could be seen but not heard. I took out my laptop and said i have pics i really NEED you to see. She was happy because she thought i let it all go (about our scuffle) but when she saw the first pic with her hair in the toilet and vomit all over her self she got mad and started to raise her voice, 2nd pic came and she saw herself (pic was taken without her knowing) being gropped (willingly) by 2 men she says she doesn't know. after 63 pics of all/most her bad drunk moments, the slide show switches to the good times.....She was upset and hurt but i made an impact, it showed her how ugly she can be. Since then shes been doing great, shes going to school and is almost done as of before she was about to be kicked out due to not showing up cause she was hung over. She hasn't had a drink in almost 6 month we are very close and shes a really bad lier so i know shes getting better. Now doing this is quite risky depending on your sis..( i'm the tough one proud that she actually got me good but still really pissed) fights will come and go but this is a huge one..Your sis needs to see herself and hear her own voice when shes drunk, she needs to see how it affects the kids and the rest of the family....Take pics when she doesn't know take them of the kids when they miss there mommy. get them to right her letters and go staight for the jugular....Shes hurting but she needs to feel more from her babies and the ones who are closest to her, Having her father put her in treatment is only going to push her farther down. She needs to do it for HER own reasons what ever they might be. All you can do is show her who she is when shes drinking and who she is when shes sober but ALWAYS support her, if she wants to go to AA then ask to go to...if she wants to drink than say well i see you in about a week or two..because i choose not to drink, If you drink (its ok, i am a social drinker, someone who drinks occasionally) DO NOT drink with her.
Another trick, my sis would always get me to get her drinks and hold them.... i order her virgin drinks, what she doesn't know won't hurt her. When i hold her drink, i or some one else drinks to lessen the amount of alcohol (liqure is heavier than juice so it settles to the bottom) she ends up spending more money but dosent get as drunk all in hopes of her being safer about her choices when shes drunk. She will fight you every step of the way but you love her and remind her of that everyday....but be careful some people aren't as strong as they appear/let you to believe. I hope that she will see the errors of her ways and better herself for her and the family. I really think that you are wonderful person who loves her little sis very much and i hope that i have helped you and your family, she will get better be strong and never abandon her for any reason (it will make it worse) just keep loving her she's see..soon. your friend W.M
2007-01-04 03:50:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry you are witnessing this in your sister -- I know firsthand how painful it is. You may want to go to some Al-Anon meetings in your area. There you will find others who are coping with the same strife and sorrow that alcoholism in the family brings, and get support and help in finding your own serenity. Believe me, if there were something you could do to influence your sister's behavior, we would all be doing it -- the sad reality is that there isn't. We have no control over another person's drinking, only over the way we choose to respond to it. You may want to suggest that your mom and dad go to Al-Anon, too. There will be many other parents and siblings who are encountering your situation. Good luck, and God bless!
2007-01-04 11:04:22 · answer #2 · answered by meatpiemum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your sister is going through a really rough patch and unfortunately, she's trying to forget it through alcohol. your role as a sister is a pivotal one. get her mind off alcohol by taking up classes/activities (kickboxing, swimming, knitting) with her 2 to 3 times a week. it may seem like a lot of time out of your schedule but sacrificing that amount of time to change her life for the better is a small investment for you. family is what she needs more than any therapy class out there. you can be a great positive influence to your sister and i'm sure you will be since u care for her that much.
2007-01-04 11:41:21 · answer #3 · answered by smilesaplenty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you sister sees there is a problem and decides to change her behavior there isn't a whole lot you can do. It's sad but true. I think your family is being very supportive, especially in taking in her children. I hope that if anything she tries to stop drinking for her kids.
2007-01-04 11:01:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing you can do, but pray for her. Have y'all tried tough love? She may just have to hit rock bottom in order to see that something is wrong. May God Bless!!
2007-01-04 11:27:26 · answer #5 · answered by Blu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this, but nothing. You've told her how you feel. You've made efforts to help her. You've made sure her children are safe. Now it's up to her.
I'm sorry for you. I wish you could do something. But it's not in your hands.
2007-01-04 10:58:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say it, but you have to let her go, so she can come back. As long as you and your parents are willing to help her , then you are enabling her. She has to hit bottom before she is ready to start healing. Again, I'm sorry.
2007-01-04 11:04:02 · answer #7 · answered by ksueditz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reserch the long lerm effects of drinking excessively and how it is going to effect her
2007-01-04 10:57:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A wake up call.
Show (don't just tell) her what she is doing not only to herself, but also her family.
2007-01-04 11:07:16 · answer #9 · answered by shaigrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋