I've wanted to start trying for a baby with my man for the past two years. I'm starting to get impatient and the feeling inside of me is getting more intense. We would be able to afford it now, but he wants to wait a while until we are more financially secure. I feel like that time will NEVER come!!! How do I control this feeling? It keeps getting worse, especially when I am around kids.
2007-01-04 02:29:44 · 8 answers · asked by sundragonjess 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I'd speak to him. My wife and I went through this with our second child. I don't think you need counseling or anything that drastic yet. Just sit him down and talk about it. Ask him, point blank what his reservations are about having the baby. Is it really only money? It could be a fear of additional commitment many men face - they know that when you have a baby, you must be committed. It's a big step for many men. Also, he could be afraid about losing his job or being a good provider or being a good parent. He could feel that he still has some 'oats' to sew before having a baby to. Whatever you do, talk and listen to each other, don't accuse or attack or anything like that. Listen to him intently - that way your more likely to pick up on any subtleties in his responses. Once every thing's on the table, then work from that point on to address his concerns (if you're OK w/them). Good luck to you.
2007-01-04 02:51:54 · answer #1 · answered by [><] Rebel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are so singing my song, sister! The only advice I have is that you have to respect his wishes. If you love him so much that you want to have a child, you have to respect the fact that he is not ready. He may be using finances as a cover story. He is probably very uncertain when it comes to children and is not ready to be a father yet. Try living vicariously through any of your friends that may be pregnant or already have children. One of my friends just had a baby, so I am hoping that by allowing my hubby to be around the baby a lot, he will see that is not as hard to care for a child as he thinks. Also, if you have any guy friends who are daddy's, have them talk up the feeling of fatherhood. Good luck sweetie! One more thing, you don't want to "accidentally" get pregnant. It's not only immoral, but it is not fair to your guy if he is not ready.
2007-01-04 10:39:05 · answer #2 · answered by sweetiepi44 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well Ill tellyou go and get pregnant you can never be(financialy secure. we all think about not having enough money but go with the flow I dint have money and everytihgn was fine the more money you have the more youlll want to spend example when you bye a crib you can get 100$ crib but if you ahve the money youll go get a 400$ crib ,,,its not that much money to have a baby ,,and its very hard to make the feeling go away trust me I know,,,if you wait time will never come ,,so go have a baby and love the baby no matter how much money yuo have there are special and too good to wait forever
2007-01-04 10:45:04 · answer #3 · answered by spankystrouble 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of the worst things you can do is have a child with a man that doesn't feel he is totally ready. This can either make him more responsible or it can make him hold animosity against you for getting pregnant when he was not totally ready. I would continue to talk to him and express your wants and desires about children. Explain to him exactly how you feel and tell him there is no perfect time to have children. As long as you have each other and are able to be supportive to each other and your child, everything will be ok. Just make sure you are ready.
Good luck with everything!
2007-01-04 10:34:32 · answer #4 · answered by No Perm 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i know what you mean. i wanted kids for the longest time and i felt really bad when i saw other people having babies. well now im pregnant and all i can say is be careful what you wish for. Before when i thought of pregnant ladies and babies i thought of smiling and glowing and round bellies and bliss. well no one warned me about what is to come. im 10 weeks now and ive never felt worse in my life. no energy, cant eat, sick as a dog and basically no quality of life. I love my baby and all and im sure itll all be worth it in the end but just a warning...its very hard. and wait until delivery..... good things take time so I say wait until your ready...in what ever aspect...emotianally or financially...but be prepared. ALso i found out it costs a lot of $$$$. total for me (and its a normal pregnancy) is gonna be close to $10,000.00 and my insurance only pays for a small chunk of that
2007-01-04 10:34:24 · answer #5 · answered by dreamer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you and your man may need couples counseling. There is a big problem there seeing the need is so strong in you. You will have to talk it out (with a neutral person) to understand both of your feelings here and if it will get better or not. I wish you so much luck, because babies are so precious.
2007-01-04 10:34:48 · answer #6 · answered by Bud's Girl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
see a therapist
2007-01-04 10:37:57 · answer #7 · answered by Melissa Me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oops, i forgot to take my pill, diaphram, there is a hole in the condom......etc
2007-01-04 10:35:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋