My son is 19 months old. He has just entered the terrible two's?

Question

How do I disipline a boy who is this young?

Answer 1

He's entering a really rough time for himself because he's new to knowing he can think for himself and have his own wishes but his emotions are not mature enough for him to be able to deal with the frustration of not being allowed to exercise this new automony and independence he is discovering.

You shouldn't even be thinking about "discipline". You should be thinking of "understanding".

For now, try not to spring any surprises on him. He is less likely to get thrown off if no surprises get sprung. Pretend you're a supervisor and keep your "employee" abreast of what the day will hold. Tell him your plans for the day when he gets up, and then as you get closer to, say, going out tell him again what the plan is. ("We're going to run over and see Grandma for a little while, but then we will have to leave her house and go get food for Daddy. We also need to go to the Post Office and mail my letter.")

When you're going in to Grandma's remind him again of how you'll stay for only a little while today because you have to go buy food and mail your letter; but another day you'll stay longer.

Fifteen minutes before you plan to leave Grandma's tell him, "We're going to leave when Barney goes off, so please remember that." He may even tell you when Barney goes off and that its time to leave.

On the way to the store, again explain what will be happening. ("We have to buy Daddy something for dinner, and we have to get YOU your cereal! Don't let me forget to get that.") Tell him you will buy him a snack and talk about what snack he's like to get at the store. Keep something in your bag that will entertain him while you shop (a little book, some kind of little toy that looks interesting, etc.).

As you're in the check out line talk about what you need to do at the Post Office. Tell him how you need to mail a letter but you need to buy stamps. Tell him something like, "You know what - I wanted to look at the new flowers they have out in front of their building. I was wondering if those would be good flowers for us to plant." In other words, try to engage his mind and thoughts and show him how mailing a letter can be interesting. (Borrow Mr. Rogers' approach to making big, special, deals, out of tiny things.)

Try to avoid situations where tantrums could occur as much as possible.

Try to make sure he gets enough sleep, isn't hungry, and isn't over-stimulated. All of these make tantrums more likely.

If there's something he wants try to distract him rather than just pulling him away from the thing. Calmly explain (and announce), "Oh - the man in the store doesn't want you behind the counter; so come on - let's get lunch." "Oh - Grandma doesn't want people playing with that statue because Uncle Fred gave it to her and she doesn't want anything to happen to it - but come look at the cookies she made for us."

Create choices for him too. ("Would you like to take your bath now or after you have a snack." If he says, "snack first" you let him have his choice and remind him, "Ok - snack now and then your bath. That's a good plan.")

You need to be the one who will try to help him feel better through a time in his development when he is so easily frustrated, upset, and confused. When he was first born and wailed like crazy because he was hungry your instinct was to feed him and comfort his upset. He's still the same little guy, and your instinct should be the same.

What you will accomplish by doing this is not only to make your life and his more pleasant right now, but it will reinforce in him the idea that you are the one who is the voice of reason and who has shown him that not getting his way doesn't have to be a traumatic experience. You'll also show him how you understand him, and that will make him feel closer to you than ever.

Will this guarantee you won't have a tantrum in the next year or so? No. It is, however, a way to keep those difficult moments to a minimum (and you may be surprised at how few he has or how quickly he gets past this phase).

If you guide him properly through this phase he will become a more emotionally mature child, which means a more reasonable and understanding child. He will come to view your "leadership" as a good thing; and since children learn what they live he will learn to be understanding and kind when someone else is going through a trying time.

Answer 2

I started doing "time out" when my son was 17 months old and after I did, I realized that I had waited longer than I should have to start discipline-he's a strong willed child! I honestly didn't think it would mean anything to him, but he understood! I sat him in a chair and held his hands down so he couldn't get up. I kept talking to him calmly saying things like, "you're in time out because...." Now he's 19 months and he gets a "One, Two Three," and if after three he hasn't stopped the behavior, he gets a time out. It really does work and I was shocked at how quick he picked up on what was going on. Although some days he needs two time outs in a row! There are two really great books you can read-"123 Magic" by Phelan and "Dare to discipline" by Dobson(Christian writer, but saved my life with his "Strong willed Child" Book). Good luck!

Answer 3

Please remember that discipline is a very individual thing. It really depends on where your child is developmentally and what affects him. You are going to have to experiment a little to find what works for everyone involved. But, one thing to remember, whatever you do, be CONSISTENT! And, not just you, but other care-givers as well. If something is a "no" then it should always be a no. Otherwise, it can be very confusing to children this age.
And, if Mommy says "no" and Daddy or Grandma or whoever says "yes" its going to really make him question what is going on.

My son is 20months and started really "testing" around 18 months. Here are a few things we do. Like I said, it needs to be individualized, but maybe some suggestions will help get you started!

First, remember that he truly doesn't know what is allowed and off limits with some things. So, we always start with a good firm NO! and an explanation. (I.e. - He's reaching to touch the television buttons. "NO!" Then I have his attention. "Please don't touch the television buttons. Those are a 'no touch' for little boys. The tv is not a toy, and if you play with it, it might break and we wouldn't be able to watch your favorite shows anymore.")

As he starts to get the concept, you can see if emotions work for him. My little guy hates to make people sad. So, if he touches later on... "That's a 'no touch,' remember?" If he continues... "You're not listening to Mommy. It makes Mommy very sad when you don't listen. The tv is a 'no touch.'" For us, this usually works, and after a few days of repetition, he knows the new rule and obeys it.

If he continues to disobey, then I believe its important to reinforce that there will be consequences. Ie- That's a no touch and you are not listening. If you touch again then... insert consequence here.

If our son is misusing something, the consequence is usually that it gets taken away and put up on a shelf where he can see it, but knows he cannot play with it again until... after dinner, tomorrow, whatever.

If its misbehaving, then he has to sit in what he now calls his "two minute chair." (I had heard that it was good to do a 'time- out' the same number of minutes as a child's age... so he usually has to sit for 1.5 minutes, but we say 2).

If it comes to this, I would say something like. "Mommy said no and told you you would have to sit. You touched again, so now you have to sit in your chair by yourself for 2 minutes." (At this point, he usually starts to cry and says Sorry, Mommy - which stinks b/c I just want to hug him, but STAY STRONG.)

He then has to sit for 2 minutes. When the time is up, I get down on his level, ask if he knows what he did wrong. (Sometimes he can verbalize, sometimes not). Then I say something like "Ok, no touching the tv next time, right? Can you tell Mommy you are sorry?" He says "sorry, Mommy" or "sorry tv Mommy." Then I always make sure to tell him its all better, and just to listen next time and he gets a big hug.

I think its really important to let him know that its all over and I'm not mad. He gets so upset that he's upset me or his Dad. And, you want him to know there are consequences and that he has to listen or else he might get hurt/ break something, etc., but you also want him to know that everyone makes mistakes or forgets or misbehaves and that if you are truly sorry, its OK! You want him to always feel safe and be able to come to you when its all over.

Whew! I went on forever! I really hope this helps give you some ideas. Best of luck to you and just remember, always keep your patience! He's learning and excercising his independence. YOU are the adult, so keep your temper and remain calm. Make sure he knows he is loved, but stand firm. Its for his own good and will help him later if he knows how to behave.

Answer 4

Magic one, two, three. If he's almost two, then he's hopefully talking and understanding you. Whenever he is doing something you don't want him to do, you say to "stop doing that", and then say "That's one". You do this until you get to three, and if he doesn't stop you put him in a 2 minute time-out. Like a chair in a corner. Or just somewhere without TV or toys. This also works if you want him to do something. You need to be consistent, using this every time he misbehaves.

I learned this in a parenting class that I was forced to take years ago. It has worked wonders with my daughter. I don't ever have to put her in time-out anymore.

Good luck!

Answer 5

He understands "No". Try a time out in a special place in the house (where you can see him). I used a chair facing the wall and made the time outs short. You might look at the old Spock baby book. I found it very helpful

Answer 6

It depends on the child. I never hit my 3 yr old but my 17 month old won't sit for time out and a little tap does the trick for her. She's in her terrible 2s already and she bullyies my almost 4 yr old.

Answer 7

Standing in the corner worked on me! For biting or swearing, the old soap in the mouth does the trick. Maybe a time out in his bed or crib would work, too. Good luck!

Answer 8

i don't envy you , If you have anything around that he can get a hold of and you don't want him to touch, put them away for a while , he's only a baby and you can't be yelling no no don't touch, he's too young to understand , make life easier for you and him... keep some toys out and when he finished playing show him how to put his toys away and when he puts them away praise him and let him know he is loved with hugs and kisses
get some educational flip cards with, animals, numbers, and play games with him…Best of luck Hun, I’ve been there.....

Answer 9

Start taking away privileges such as letting him do it by himself
*lets say you ask him a question such as please pick up your toys he says no say ok I will HELP you (they dont want to be helped)
* Or dont give him an opption so when they say NO you let them know that its not a choice so you will help them
*also when telling them to do things never ever end your question in OK because then you are giving them the opption to say no
* and never say DONT because then they are going to anyway

Answer 10

call it time out sit him in a chair and when he gets off put him on again its going to eb hard to do for you and him but shortly after when you put him there he know its punishment and will goon his ownand even keep on the good track