Why doesn't the other girls like my daughter?

Question

My girl is in 2nd grade..it seems as though some of the other girls aren't very nice to her( not letting her play with them and such). I know she's my kid, but she's the sweetest little angel who doesn't have a bad bone in her body. I know it bothers her and maybe it bothers me more. Am i making too much out ot it??

Answer 1

no its nice to know you care so much ::;show this posting to your partner , talk to your daughter ,even approach the school (disgreetly)

Answer 2

They say boys are violent but at least when they fight, they hit each other then that's the end of things. Girls are worse because they are bitchy, hold grudges and are excellent at the silent treatment. And, unfortunately, with kids maturing so much earlier, girlie bitchiness is a problem for even young children.

You need to see if this is just a temporary thing or if this is, in fact, bullying. If it's temporary, try to help your daughter reclaim her friends. Invite them to the house (either one at a time or in a group of three or more-- never invite two girls as they do say 'three's a crowd) and organise activities for them to do, like dressing up and make up, before giving them a slap-up meal with all sorts of kiddie favourites. Arrange playdates with the girls' parents to get your daughter into the swing of things. I'd also recommend that you involve her with extra-curricular clubs (Guides, karate, a foreign language, baseball, dancing, etc) so she's mixing with kids away from school and doesn't just rely on her classmates to be her friends. It will also give her more confidence.

If it's bullying, go straight to the teacher or headteacher. Don't brush it to the side because things will just get worse and your daughter will just come to loathe school. Keep a diary of every incident as evidence.

Answer 3

I am like that too, my daughter is in the 3rd grade and tries so hard to make a friend that I feel so bad, almost like I am going through it too. My daughter is also a sweetheart and very smart too, I know many of the girls don't like her because she is smart, they have told her, I think instead of these other girls trying harder they would much rather be mean to another. I have told my daughter that everyone is not mean and someday she will meet a really good friend that she can do everything with and she seems to feel better when I tell her that, she has come home in tears-just breaks my heart.

Answer 4

Children can be cruel for no reason. The reason I was not surrounded with friends was that I had such a low self-esteem. I could never make anyone happy about what I did or did not do. Sometimes it is a judgment about the child's family stemming from some cruel thing their parents may have said. Sometimes it is about money, they could feel more upper-class than they need to. (I have a granddaughter who states without reservation that they are rich. I know for a fact her parents work very hard for what they have; I worry she won't.) Teach your child her self-worth, and give her better values and as that teaching begins to shine through, the others will see it and love her as much as you. Maybe your love for her is so much greater for her than the love they receive, they are jealous. It will work out Prayer being the beginning, love/ prayer in the middle, prayer in the end.
MAY HAPPINESS BE YOUR BLESSING FROM GOD TODAY AND ALWAYS

Answer 5

I wouldnt say bitchy maybe but yeah that is pretty close.
I think its just a thing with girls this age. ( I think it only lasts until we are 40!!)
My daughter is in 3rd grade and she has come to me with this problem a couple of times...and what I mean is when she was having a couple of bad days. 2 days later its a totally different story and she has all the firend in the world.
She is coming to you on the bad days because she feels bad and wants comfort, those days stick out to you. I would bet though if you asked her out of the blue she would tell you how many friends she has and what they play.
Also no offense but even the sweetiest girls can be mean and annoying sometimes around thier peers. Thats a hard lesson I had to learn with my own kids...that they are not always as sweet around other kids. I did overhear my daughter one time (who I thought was just so sweet) become extremely whiney about a soccer ball during reccess. I had to later sit her down and explain that others wont want to play with her if she acts like that.

Answer 6

Most of the time when a parent says there child is sweet and doesn't have a bad bone in their body, they don't really know their child. It's like: "My child would never do that"; or "My child would never lie to me". Involve the school counselor by having her meet with the girls to work things out. Ask your daughter or your daughter's teacher what she may be doing. How are her social skills? Girls can be mean for not reason but start with your daughter and move from there.

Answer 7

Little girls are highly influenced by their mothers. The mothers determine their friends and often prevent daughters from liking or even taking the opportunity to like some girls simply because the parents are jealous. I had a child who blatantly told me my daughter wasn't invited to her birthday party because her mommy wouldn't let her. Just continue to love your daughter and pour on the attention and affection. Eventually she will find her own way. I would also try to get her involved in extracurricular activities such as dance, girl scouts, church, or sports to give her an opportunity to meet new friends!

Answer 8

Kids can be very cruel. They often do not need a reason. If a kids is nice and easy going, other kids tend to pick on that kid because they can. It could be jealousy. Maybe your daughter is prettier or nicer than they. Kids (and adults) will try to bring another down to their level rather than raise their own standards. Reaffirm your child. Their are good people out there. Tell your daughter this and to find a group of kids that will accept her. The most popular kids are not necessarily the best kids.

Answer 9

I agree with other posters, this is a life lesson. AT THE SAME TIME you want whats best for your daughter and need to teach her how to get by in life. Others will treat her better when she earns some clout: Get her involved in activities that she enjoys, like gymnastics, dance or something like that. She will meet others who will treat her fine, and she will gain confidence to show the brats at school who they're dealing with. Also, make sure you work with her to keep her grades high. That will also give her credibility. Sad but true. The nice thing is, as she moves from being treated poorly, to one who influences others, she will always treat others much better than these brats treated her. Good luck!

Answer 10

When we are parents, it is hard not to make more out of things than we should because we know that no one will advocate for our kids better than we do. That said, I would not worry too much about this unless it is having deep effects on her...does she wake up ill on school days, does she struggle getting to school in the morning, is she enthusiastic about the academic part, does she have and play well with friends outside of school? If you can say yes to a few of these and some others that you have surely run through yourself, then she will be fine. If it is truly affecting her deeply, then please talk to her pediatrician about it.
Take Care.

Answer 11

I am so glad you asked that question. Mine is almost 11 now and has been going through the very exact same thing. Probably since first grade. I see there are quite a few people in our situation and it's true - kids are so cruel.

What can we do? Sorry, I have no idea. I'm just glad we're not alone in this. (well, not GLAD but you know). Good luck to us and ours. (Maybe we need to form a support group against snotty mom's who teach their children these attitudes).