well i wen tout with this guy and he wa my first love. well now that its over and about 1 year after we broke up i can say im over him. well ne ways my best friend called me afte new years and asked me if its ok if she can date my ex. i said it was ok and that it wouldnt bother me but deep down i know i does. it doesnt bother me that hes moved on. what bothers me is that my best friends wants to date him. i talked to my bro about this situation and he told me to just get back at her. well what im asking is should i jsut try to get over what my best friend wants or should i just tell her i dont really want her to date my ex or should i jsut get even with her and do it back to her? i need advice!!
2007-01-04 02:15:45 · 15 answers · asked by Xtina12 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Some would say that it is not the right thing to do for your best friend to date your ex-boyfriend.
However... your best friend did the right thing by asking for your permission.
You did the wrong thing by telling her it was OK... You either live with your mistake... or you will lose your best friend over it.
2007-01-04 02:24:38 · answer #1 · answered by Aussies-Online 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think getting back at her will make you feel better in the long run. I mean, maybe short term, you may get a sense of gratification, but its still likely to be short term. There has been a long period of time since you and he dated, so technically, he's free to date whomever he chooses. And at least your friend was decent enough to ask you first. But if you are uncomfortable, you should have said so. Because now, if they last, and you two are still friends, you'd all be hanging out together... and I'm sure that's going to be awkward. You have to determine just how much them being together is going to affect you and your friendship. This is a tough situation and I wish you the best of luck. I hope things work out.
2007-01-04 10:23:20 · answer #2 · answered by Koko Loco 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not worth it at all. 1. you have nothing to get back at your friend for..she was up front and honest with you and she even asked you. 2. its been over for at least 1 year. You have already lost him as your ex.....why add to it and lose a friend also.
In the long run, the simple truth is that it did not work out with the two of you. Your best friend will see his true colors soon enough. Don't ruin a strong friendship over an relationship that ended so long ago.
Good luck
2007-01-04 10:22:10 · answer #3 · answered by lynn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting "back at her" is about the worst idea in this situation, especially since you already gave your approval to your friend to date your ex.
You have a couple of options here as I see it.
1) You say you are "over him" but obviously you aren't or you wouldn't be affected by the idea that your friend wants to date him. So one thing you could do is to really get over him, period.
2) Tell your friend that now you have had time to think about it, that you are going to be troubled by her dating your ex, & ask her if she would consider not dating him after all.
But revenge is definatly not a good option here, I am afraid your bro has given you some bad council.
2007-01-04 10:25:00 · answer #4 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's been a year and you say you are over him. It really doesn't sound that way. If you friend wants to date him so be it, but that is no reason to get back at her. She hasn't done anything to you. If she was trying to date him right after you two broke up then I could see you wanting to get back at her. But it's been a year so I think it is time for you to forget about him.
2007-01-04 10:22:49 · answer #5 · answered by cowchic9 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two things: I have to give your friend some credit for asking you if it was okay. But, she surely knew how you felt about him and what you found wrong with him, so I'm surprised she wants to give him a try.
Secondly, so many people say "it's okay" when they really don't mean it. I think being forthright and saying what you mean will come with age, but hopefully, with time, you will find a way to tell someone what you really feel, if it's not something you feel comfortable with.
I know... it's hard. Take care.
2007-01-04 10:20:29 · answer #6 · answered by debra62 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm kinda going through the same thing right now. I still want to be friends with the girl that's dating my ex because we have fun together. However, I know not to trust her as far as I can throw her. And how would you get even with her? It's not worth it.
2007-01-04 10:21:58 · answer #7 · answered by Rosie aka Rosie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all u should have been honest with your friend. She was kind enough to ASK you first if it bothered u...u lied and yes no..You gave her the go ahead...now u regret it
get over it and in the future hopefully you have learned not to lie. Had u told her the truth she would not have dated this guy (probably)
2007-01-04 10:21:14 · answer #8 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are truly over him and are alright with him moving on - then why does it bother you who he dates? If you are no longer interested in him be a slefless person and hope that your friend is what he needs and maybe he is what she needs to be happy - be happy with who you are and hope for the best for others.
Remember - revenge - what goes around comes around - do unto others what you would have done unto you.....
2007-01-04 10:20:00 · answer #9 · answered by Bugs_Mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's a reason you two are no longer an item ....take comfort in that concept ....wasn't right for you ....and so what if it is w/ them .....your best friend might find out the same thing ....let them learn too .....go on w/ your life and enjoy it to the fullest ....be happy for yourself ...and enjoy the time you have w/ your best friend as well ...good luck
2007-01-04 10:23:10 · answer #10 · answered by pasntru2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋