Whats the best way to "cool off" when you're angry?

Question

I'm fuming mad right now - thanks to my stupid, pig-headed brother.. I didn't really say anything to him becaues he's just so unreasonable and has the worst logic ever! I was so mad, my pulse soared and I started shaking.. Now i can hear the veins throbbing in my temples.. its too long a storey to go into, so i'll just cut to the chase -
How can I de-stress? I can't remember the last time i was so mad.. i can't calm down

Answer 1

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEAM and then scream some more. That is why God made pillows my love!
My brother was exactly the same when we were younger. Thankfully now at the age of 38, he's the best brother in the world, and I love him.
So remember, he is your brother...

Answer 2

First get out, & go for a walk & de-stress that way. Once you return home try some yoga execises if you are into that, or meditation. If you haven't ever tried meditation before, then I'l give you a couple of tips to get you on your way, but you would really benefit from taking a class on meditation.

1) Find a quiet place in your house where you won't be disturbed.
2) Sit in a chair with your back straight, & your arms at your side with your palms facing down on your thighs.
3) Clear your mind of ALL THOUGHTS, & concentrate only on your breathing.
4) Do this for about 5 to 10 minutes, you should be less stressed afterwards.

It takes a bit of an effort to keep your mind clear of thought but concentrating only on your breath is the key to doing that. Thoughts will enter your mind, & try to take hold, but that's OK if you dismiss them right away.
As you sit there focussing on the breath you will start to notice muscles in your shoulders, back, neck, & other areas are all tensed up, so you can add relaxing them as part of your rmeditation.

Hope you feel better soon.

Answer 3

Hi well i take some tablets because i get like you called passiflora a herbal remedy with no side effects. So when i get really angry or upset i take one of these and go and have a cup of tea. The tablets i take a brilliant as after you have taken them you think what was i getting like that for. Since i have been taking passiflora i have become a better person. I never used to get on with my bro, but silly arguments just cause stress and if its not worth arguing over dont. When he trys to wind you up walk out of the room or come on here. If some one is unreasonable there is no solving the problem and it goes round and round. Ive learnt just to ignore the person or nodd your head and agree or just dont talk to the person. Its much better than getting angry as stress like we get isnt good for us, If you know its going to get into an agrument dont let it. be incontrol.
Go for a walk or listen to music or scream and cry

Answer 4

Never hold back on your anger it can make u worse. Being angry is as much as a good thing as any other emotion. Scream into a pillow, listen to some loud music, go for a long walk or run and remember he's your brother its what they do don't give him the satisfaction of letting him get you down its what siblings do. Fall out and make it go for it honey you'll feel better.

Answer 5

I think you have already done it.
You have asked the question and all these nice Yahooers have thought about you and offered their help. Although they don't know you, they are offering you love and support.
Isn't life wonderful? So is your brother, some of the time, and he needs to be forgiven for upsetting you.
He's just a stupid bloke in the making and very often we can be so infuriating and horrible. We don't really mean it, but its just what we do.
He really has got more good points than bad points, hasn't he? You know he must be lovely underneath, because, look at who his sister is!

Answer 6

I've got recurring problems with anger, and my family can be a trigger sometimes.

A few things you can do are:

--- Think of some positive memories of your brother. Go way back to when you were kids if you have to. It'll be harder to stay mad at him if you do this.

--- Think to yourself, "Will any of this petty stuff matter in 10 years?" Usually, the answer is no.

--- Remember that something terrible could happen to either of you at any minute of every day. God forbid, if one of you were to suddenly die, you wouldn't want this stuff to be the last experience you shared, would you?

--- Try to think of the situation from his point of view. I bet what he's angry with you about isn't what it seems. Oftentimes, the anger is misplaced and what he's really mad about is something else. I'm sorry that he's chosen to take it out on you, but there's probably another root cause to his anger.

Think about it, take some deep breaths and talk to him!

Answer 7

Well, hes your brother so deep down, under the anger you do love him. Think of a favourite memory that you and him have. A really happy one. Think of all the good things he's done for you. Think of what life would be like without him. Take some nice deep breaths. If this doesent cool you off I'm not sure.

Answer 8

Practice. Remember that it is your life and heart and that this anger is only hurting you and taking away your happiness. Only one thing may occupy one space at one time. So you either decide to have that moment filled with happiness, or anger.

it takes practice to calm yourself down and say it isn't important enough to give a second thought to.

I use sad thoughts to offset anger. Like if my brother pisses me off I would think about what would happen is something happened to him. I would feel very sad, to wit I could regain the love I have for him in my heart.

We are dumb humans capable of feeling any way we choose. It's really that simple and up to us.

Answer 9

Visualise for a moment, your life. Have you had worse moments than this? Did you survive? Apparently, you did because you're asking the question in the present moment.
If you have had a worse situation. Simply close your eyes and say in your mind: "I have had it worse and I've had it better.....This moment is a moment where I will learn more about who I am and it will pass". Do it now and you will feel an overwhelming sense of control.
It is your mind and you have the power to instruct it to work for YOU.

Answer 10

Sometimes siting down and writing a letter to that person will help. It helps get your words out. You never send the letter, it just helps you get your feelings in focus so that you can look at the problem and then maybe when you talk to him again you will know exactly what to say. I go clean when I am angry, and while I am scrubbing I am usually venting to myself, but regardless it gets your feelings out and that's better then holding them in.