After ending a 5yr. verbal, emotional abusive relationship, I met a man that far exceeds anything I could ever hope for in a man. He compliments me, makes me laugh. He's raised my self esteem higher than it's ever been. { He's also beautiful!} We have so, so much fun together. Problem is, I'm 42, he's 35. Honestly, I'm very young looking {and kinda "immature"} for my age. He called and said "I dont think we have anything in common, dont think its gonna work" etc..That was last week, but he called New Years eve to go out. I had plans with my kid. I've been in tears! We have everything in common. I believe the problem is the age difference. I think it bothers him. Am I wrong to think age diff. is no big deal?
2007-01-04 01:44:48 · 44 answers · asked by isis8x3 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think you're too old for him. But if it bothers him, then he's not mature enough to look past that. My husband is 24 years my senior. At first I thought about the big age difference and how people would look at me. Now I don't care. As long as you guys are comfortable with it. If it's an issue for him, then find someone else who will see and appreciate you for who you really are and not what year you were born. Good luck! 42 is really really young! :)
2007-01-04 01:49:57 · answer #1 · answered by ponder2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age is NOT a factor (look at Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.... almost 20 years there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!).
I'm not sure what you are trying to pursue at this point??? He made a rather bold statement to you and then calls you for a date?? And why the tears??? You had plans with YOUR KIDS!!!!!!! That is MORE important than anything else in the world. Hopefully he didn't condemn you for that? If he did, then I'd run in the opposite direction.
I know EXACTLY what it is like to be in a verbally abusive relationship. Been there-done that. I have to tell you though, Mr. Wonderful ISN'T the one that "raised your self esteem" , YOU ARE!!! No one can make you feel anything that you don't already feel about your self. We are 100% in control of our feelings and our how we choose to interpret what others say and do to us is what makes us feel the way we do.
It sounds like you just need time to heal from your previously bad relationship. Spend time with your kids and know that there are LOTS of fish in the sea and when the time is right, you will catch one!!!
Happy New Year :)
2007-01-04 01:54:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it bothers him then it is a problem, but honestly, honey, what's 7 years among friends?
That is really hardly any time at all. There is often a much bigger gap the other way around and if you look younger, why do most people even have to know?
I would take his invite as a good sign. It sounds as if he's thought things over and is changing his mind.
As for you - don't be worried. Some of the hottest, most enduring relationships involve younger men. Count your blessings, dear, not the years between you.
2007-01-04 01:54:03 · answer #3 · answered by outdone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok he it goes a 13 goes out with a 19 year old and that is consider cradle robber, but a women that is experienced and knows what she wants. they are two diffrent things. u are old enough to make the decision " i do want to be with him" not just cause im older it makes it wrong. no choices come with knowlegde and power, example: a hot 19 year old guy goes up to a young 13 year old girl and says i think ur hot lets go out, the girl falls for him and then she makes the biggest mistake of her life just cause she dosent have the knowledge about that and its wrong. but in ur case ur older and wiser and u know what u want. so if by some how u and the man u like get together dont base it on the age diff, just cause u already know what u want. so with this good luck and hopefully he can see pasted the age just like u did:)
2007-01-04 01:56:09 · answer #4 · answered by quikblue11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
7 years is not a lot of age difference once you are an adult. I'm a 27 year old woman dating men in their early 30's and it doesn't bother me a bit. I think there may be another issue going on with him and I'd ask him directly about it. If he liked you enough to go out with you for a while then it's probably not the age difference but if that's your assumption, make sure it's not something that's bothering you instead.
2007-01-04 01:48:10 · answer #5 · answered by blhenne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is different. If I connected with someone on many different levels, then I would not consider age difference. However, it seems like this man does have problems with the age difference (even though 7 years is hardly a May-December romance), or he is using this as an excuse because he is not interersted for other reasons. I think you need to talk to him and arrange another date with him. If he does not want to go out, then find another man that is interested.
2007-01-04 01:50:52 · answer #6 · answered by Mr. Smooth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you ask him if your age is the problem. At least that way you know instead of sitting around crying. If he wanted to be with you he would be. He helped you through a tough time and helped boost your self-esteem take that and run with it. You must be a beautiful women to have caught the eye of a younger handsome man. Don't let it get you down if it doesn't work. He gave you a wonderful gift, Your confidence in yourself, for that you should be grateful. Be happy!
2007-01-04 02:04:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, it's the age thing that bothers him. He will either get over it or he won't. I know it is tougher for some guys than others. A simple, "I feel that sometimes our age difference comes between us." or something like that, will encourage him to speak about his feelings. Sometimes assuming responsibilities of a kid is a problem too. What I've found is that the more time you spend together and really enjoy each other, and the puss-ee is really, really good and regular, they get over the age thing.
2007-01-04 01:50:43 · answer #8 · answered by morahastits 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all!! There's no problem with that age gap - you're pretty well in the same generation. My parents have a five year age gap and they met when they were very young!! Seven years is no big deal at all. I have friend engaged to a woman 12 years older than he and they are doing great!
Don't worry about it.
2007-01-04 01:47:25 · answer #9 · answered by texascrazyhorse 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously... there shouldn't be an issue between two ADULTS however, it's not you, it him.
Now if he were under the age of 21 or your childs age... that could be a problem.
Move on quickly. You don't need to deal with a confuse person. He seems immature and should not be trusted to be a part of your life.
2007-01-04 01:49:03 · answer #10 · answered by 247 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋