I've loved this guy for a really long time. I know that he likes me but he hasn't made any moves to be with me and it is partially my fault. I'm pretty smitten over him and I know he knows I am. He only shows his feelings for me when he is drunk or vulnerable. Saying he loves me, getting jealous over guys talking to me, being territorial. During December I started seeing this other guy. No questions asked hands down I know he likes me. I don't have to question it. He tells me! I like him too but not in the way I like the other guy. I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt the guy I'm with but my heart wants what it wants. The thing is that I can't wait forever for the guy I love to come around. I don't know how to push him out of my heart to give this new guy a real chance. Can I have it both ways and just see what happens or do I need to do something?
2007-01-04 01:21:59 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've been there done that, not really reccomended... I understand you want to be true to your heart but you need to REALLY examine your heart to decide if you truly love the guy that is ignoring your feelings, or if you only think you love him cause he's unattainable. You need to be honest. otherwise you will only hurt yourself alot in the long run. But you do have to make a choice weither it's to dump your current boyfriend and try for the unattainable one, or to really decide to put the unattainable one out of your mind. No matter what it is going to hurt your heart, but alot less then if you wait.
2007-01-04 01:31:08 · answer #1 · answered by tiger b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's Not Fair To You Are The Other Person. It's Kinda Selfish To Be With One Person If Your Heart Is With Another.
Right Now Your Playing With People Mind! Break Up With The New Guy! Tell Him You Need Some Time To Think About Thing's. Then Get It Together.
2007-01-04 01:25:21 · answer #2 · answered by † Dark Prince † 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...you're really not handling this too well, huh? You want to be with a guy who only shows his feelings when he is only drunk or vulnerable. You consider somebody that immature a winner and well worth your time and attention? Please, forget about him. You don't have to wait for him to make a move you have to wait for him to grow up. You're also not being fair to the guy you are with. Your heart and attention aren't focused on him but his is on you, so try, finally, to do the right thing and let him go until you can decide what you want. You're playing games and being selfish, even you suspect what you're doing isn't right or else you wouldn't have posted the question.
2007-01-04 01:29:01 · answer #3 · answered by simm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was with someone who loved another it would hurt me. So I guess no, you should not be with someone if you love another guy. However, my suggestion on the other guy is forget him. If he only admits his feelings when drunk, then is it real feelings? Maybe you should try to find out. If it is worth it enough to you, leave the new guy (you have not dated to long and it should be easy, however, remember YOU are the one to blame here, not him. Make sure he knows this and apologize.) and ask this other guy... When he is sober! Personally, I do not think it is worth it. You could give up a perfectly good guy for an overly flirty drunk. Sleep on it, and follow your heart.
2007-01-04 01:26:22 · answer #4 · answered by bitty_and_me@verizon.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is so sad. I was in a similiar situation awhile back. I was totally smitten with a really good friend of mine, you know the "friends with benefits" kind? He always maintained that all we could ever be was friends (even though we were both single) and he used to always tell me how much he needed and missed me, and I really fell for him. I mean, how could I not after all that we shared?
Anyway, I met this really nice guy, we went out quite a few times, but I couldn't make myself like him in the way he liked me. My so called "friend" discouraged it and I assumed it was because he cared so much about me. I decided not to continue dating this nice guy and my "friend" and I continued messing around.
A year later, my "friend" found someone else and tells me he can't be my friend anymore, and told me I need to get out and meet someone and be happy. How could I do that just like nothing after sharing so much with him for over 2 years? I'm still getting through this...
I wouldn't waste my time on this guy if I were you. In the end you will probably get hurt like I was.......
2007-01-04 01:38:16 · answer #5 · answered by honestly sweet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
been there The guy you love is so not worth it wait until you are older and look back at his life and just give this other guy a chance u will be so much better off you don't want a guy who only wants you on his time and when he is drunk that ain't love yo sound like me you like a challenge and he is a challenge no challenge to a guy that lets you know how he feels just give him a chance and i bet he is the best for you
2007-01-04 01:28:01 · answer #6 · answered by LOLO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How weird, my boyfriend (long distant) only tells me how he feels when he's drunk too, and he knows how I feel about him although I'm not 100% how my boyfriend feels cuz he only tells me when hes drunk....anyway, just date this other guy, even though you like or love the other guy. life's too short. I know this suggestion is bad, but you could go out with this guy and then when the other guy wants to pursue something, dump the other one. That's bad, but that's why I would do!
2007-01-04 01:28:13 · answer #7 · answered by Angelina M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk to the other guy because from what I read in ur story , you dont seem 2 tell him how you feel. You only wait for him. And let me tell you from experience guys never tell how they feel, you always have to give them a little push to get them started but am sure he loves you too. Good Luck
2007-01-04 01:27:50 · answer #8 · answered by ShaDow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah that definitely seems to be a prob. i got it too.. i got love for someone and have been with my current boyfriend for over 1 year living together, but half of me still belongs in the past. you need to go with what you really feel. if you love that guy you need to go for it. youll eventaully regret it. just leap out and take a chance, believe me, theres nothing like a real love, if you can get it, hang on to it tight,
2007-01-04 01:25:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find out if the other guys actually wants something to do with you when he's sober and it's not just a drunk talking. And if the one you're with is good to you, stay with him.
2007-01-04 01:24:03 · answer #10 · answered by Pache 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋