I just got back together with my boyfriend of eight years after breaking up with him about a month ago. I can't sleep at night for the worry over who he may have 'met' while we were apart. I don't think it's really any of my business, as we were apart and he was single during that time, but I cannot get it off my mind. Why do I feel this way? What should I do? I really love him and we're working so hard to work this out; I don't want this to stand in the way. Do I just ask him straight out and hope I can deal with the answer? Do I give it time and hope I stop worrying? Help?!
2007-01-04 01:15:58 · 11 answers · asked by tomi27410 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't buy the "its none of your business who I've been with" thing. If its a relationship based on trust and communication then that extends to every area. If he slept with some nasty ho-bag with diseases you should know that. I think you have a right to know...but I don't think its going to help you. Lets say he slept with a bunch of girls...what good does that do you (other than knowing he needs to get some tests done). Why don't you just assume he didn't sleep with anyone and just let the paranoia die off.
2007-01-04 01:26:00 · answer #1 · answered by Trevor 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only ask the question if you are ready for the answer. If you don't think that you can deal with it then you shouldn't ask because depending on what his answer is it could set the two of you back, and that wouldn't be good considering that the two of you are trying to make a go of things.
On the other hand if its eating away at you and you feel that the only way to go forward is for you to know then ask him, but remember that you can't get angry or sulk and be sad about it because the two of you were apart and you did ask the question because because you wanted to know.
Only ask the question if you believe you can handle the answer
2007-01-04 01:27:27 · answer #2 · answered by Baps . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you'll ever stop worrying about it because you love him. But my advice is leave well enough alone. Look at the other side of things, if you did find out would it bother you even more? Would you get caught up in find out as much as you can about that person? And comparing? It's hard to do but just let it go and work on now. Take time and hopefully you can stop driving yourself crazy over it.
2007-01-04 01:48:58 · answer #3 · answered by Tara C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would it actually benefit you to know? I'm guessing the answer here would be "no". There is an outside chance that maybe he was just so angst ridden over your break up that he didn't date/hook up with anyone but asking the question always opens you up to negative possibilities.
"If you will struggle with the answers, don't ask the questions."
2007-01-04 01:19:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it's your business! You buy a used car just because you like the colour or do you do your research first, find out what it's been through, how many miles its done etc. Ask him and if he can't tell you, then pack it up and go.
Always remember if you can do better then you should.
2007-01-04 01:22:10 · answer #5 · answered by simm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's really none of your business what he did, and with who, while you weren't together. You need to let go of this, and just move on. Time may heal you, but there's no guarantee. Perhaps he'll tell you on his own, but either way, you already have enough to deal with.
2007-01-04 01:19:30 · answer #6 · answered by grandm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the right to ask that if he was intimate with any of them that he get tested for all sorts of fun diseases.. beyond that the past is past.
Would you care to tell him every guy you went with during those eight years?
2007-01-04 01:20:46 · answer #7 · answered by Lost in Merryland 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ask. Save yourself the trouble.
2007-01-04 01:17:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
not unless your ready to break up again just get over it and enjoy being with him
2007-01-04 01:18:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your right, its none of your business. If you cant quit thinking about it, then your love is not that strong.
2007-01-04 01:19:12 · answer #10 · answered by notalucky 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋