Does anyone have any information about how to help a son on drugs?

Question

He has been in rehab, jail, and we are just worn out with the situation. He is Bipolar and mentally has some problems. He has obligations like child support and past fines due. Is there anyone
who has been in a situation like this, and where did you find any relief? Any help would be appreciated. Please this is a serious matter to us, so please don't be wise.

Answer 1

I am in the same situation. There are programs out there for families of alcoholics; most cities have at least one (Al-Anon is one). I am not sure that a mother ever finds relief, knowing their son has grown into a man who does not accept responsibility. It is not unlike death; in fact, you will go through the same emotions; anger, sadness, guilt. Although it is difficult for alcoholics to just quit drinking, their life is centered around alcohol, it is the love of their life, leaving little, if any, love for anyone else (especially themselves). All you can do is is let him know that you love him and want him to get help. Search the net for support/help groups for both of you. If he doesn't want help, you can't make him get it. It's sad, but only he can change his destructive habits. As mothers, we want to believe in some miracle cure to make things all better, like a bandaid on a scratched knee. But we can't. You must accept the fact that he has chosen this path, whether it is to ease his mental disorder or simply escape responsibility for the life he has made for himself. He has a choice to change; a psychologist, AA, etc. There are support groups out there that you may find beneficial. He will find a million excuses for being the person he is today, sometimes even blaming his childhood or his illness or his "bad luck" in relationships. The bottom line is, he needs to get a grip and realize there are many many people with a disease that CANNOT be helped, no matter how much they try. He has an option. He will always be an alcoholic, but he can quit drinking and own up to living and be a functioning part of your family and his child's (rens). Good luck and do not enable him by paying fines, child support, rent, etc. Sometimes jail time is a good wake up call.

Answer 2

Having been in yours sons place I'm bipolar and I'm also an ex-addict. I have to say don't give up on him no matter what you do. Tough love may work for some people but when my parents tried this with me I totallly went off. I was gone for like a month, a still can't remember what I did, when I crashed I od and if it hadn't been for my brother and I staying close I would have died.

While there isn't alot you can do to help himk, if he doesn't want help. You can have him placed in a rehab and or hosptiol for a certain amount of time. He will have to want help to get help.

Answer 3

I have a first hand experience. I know that an auto biography won't help either. I was your son, oh about 2 years ago. I had a daughter, and I changed my life. I went to a half way home for expecting mothers, court ordered and stayed there for 6 months. I found a group for women that I loved and still to this day visit at least once a week and I have been sober for 18 months. This group was necessary for my recovery. I attended treatment for 6 hours 4 days a week when I was at the 1/2 way house.

My support system has been my parents. Through and through. My mom only bailed me out once my drug using days and then begged me to go to rehab, but I lied to her. She would visit me in jail and send me $-not too much. I stayed in jail for 4 months then the treatment began.

My parents have always been forgiving, but I have done too much and almost feel I didn't deserve it, their forgiveness. Ultimately it is the users choice to quit. I know there are places for families with an abuser of drugs. You may need to reach out yourself. Drug users are difficult to be around. Especially when they always push you away. The group that I go to is speacial. It caters to women that work the street. I love it dearly.
Maybe that is what drug addicts need, but I have seen girls come and go when it comes to sobriety. But groups are important and treatment. Sober time will clear up the mind. I am not a professional and this situation needs professional help. Especially with bipolar- that involves prescriptions to keep a person level. So that is my advice- to seek professional help. Maybe an intervention- your love will be there when the person decides to act like a person.
I have faith in you and your son.
god bless

Answer 4

Put him back in rehab or jail. Tough love is a hard thing to do as a parent, but you would be doing the best thing for him. If he is bipolar, he needs to be on medication and get the other drugs out of his system so the meds will work. He will feel like a different person if he will allow himself to be treated. Remember, addicts have to want to change their lives, he has to want to do it for himself. If he was only doing it for you, it wouldn't change things. He has to really want it.

Answer 5

I think that the best way to deal with somebody on hes conditions is to submit hem to a institute were he will stay permanently.From what you tell me he´s mentally challenged and he cant take care of himself this situation will only get more complicated the best way to get hem in control and safe is submitting hem in a permanent institution were he can get help and maybe wont need to owner up to the child support charges for the past fines he didn't pay,and you will have more time for your self and your one problems Good luck

Answer 6

If your son is Bipolar, you should start with his psychiatrist; that person should be able to assist you, and let you know what help is available for your son. If he isn't seeing anyone at the present time, then you need to get him into see someone right away. If he refuses, there's not much you can do if he's an adult. Best of luck to you and your family!

Answer 7

I am so sorry for your situation....I don't know that I have any advice for you.....I think he has to want to be helped .....I know there are organizations out there for family members of substance abusers....I looked up a website for you NIDA it may have some resources for you....as I do not know more about your situation....you may need to just concentrate on your needs and that of his children's and put his to the side until he is ready to change......one thing I have learned in life is that the only behavior we can change is our own.

Answer 8

Your son is going to have to hit bottom in order to see his problem and then get help for himself. There is nothing you can do until he can see he has a problem and want help.
You almost sound like my son's dads' parents but his mom is a drunk too and can't do good for herself. You can't keep bailing him out, giving him money, covering for him b/c that only makes things worse for you. Go to al-anon meetings and you will have a better understanding of what his disease is and how to focus on you.

Answer 9

purely some information on the regulation the penalty for hacking into his telephone is a lot worse than the penalty for revenues or possesion of an unlawful substance. in case you opt to do the main fabulous factor, document him, in spite of the incontrovertible fact that in case you will document him you may additionally document what you probably did. or you mustn't even plan on going right into a profession with the police tension.

Answer 10

Does he want to be helped??!!! If the answer is no there is nothing you can do! Sit down and have a talk with the person...tell him that you would like to help! You will find out soon enough if he wants to be helped or not....