My sister is currently in her second year of university, studying a joint honors in English & History. However, she has become disillusioned with her course. She is constantly on edge, making herself ill with worry, hates the thought of going back this semester, but worries that by leaving, she will have failed herself and fears she will find herself in a job she won't like..
There is no pressure from family or friends to complete the course, and she has good GCSE and A level results.
She has gone to the doctors as this is affecting her day to day life so much,and will recieve counsilling in due course, but feels unable to make the final decision, fearing uncertainty.
What advice do you have for her? Sensible answers only please!!!
2007-01-04 00:53:38 · 7 answers · asked by Alison of the Shire 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
She is exhibiting classic OCD hair pulling rituals (trichotillomania) which she suffered with a couple of years ago whilst finishing her A-Levels. Hypnosis sorted this out in the short tem, but the stressors (workload, perfectionism etc) have arisen again and it has become a major problem for her. She is being referred to counselling for therapy.
She just seems unable to make the leap into the unknown.
2007-01-04 01:27:20 · update #1
I had the same problem. I went to university for 3 months but then I realised that the course I chose was wrong for me and I did not want to waste three more years learning so I left.
And it was the best decision I ever made. I am now earning more then some of my friends who went to Uni (one of them failed their and is working as a shelf stacker at Tescos!) and while I should have been at Uni I travelled all around Asia, Australia and New Zealand and had the time of my life.
Tell her to do what her instinct tells her to do. If you are unable to move into uncertainty without fear your life will be very limited.
If her brain is telling her to stay but her heart is begging her to leave then tell her to go with her heart.
Also tell her to read "Eckhart Tolles - The Power of Now" - This book is all about things such as moving into uncertainty without fear and it changed my life immensely, all in 190 pages.
Good luck.
2007-01-04 01:04:06 · answer #1 · answered by abluebobcat 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was like that at university too, especially in the final year. Juggling essays and exams stresses everyone out, not everyone admits it and that can lead to people feeling that they are the only ones who are worried. I was like that, it only after the exams and hand ins that you ask people and they all say the same.
Your sister needs to realise that you don't need to stress over uni, working every hour under the sun will not get you better grades, and besides what will she do with a first class degree when too burnt out to use it, thats what my parents said.
I've got a friend at uni now who is exactly the same, I was chatting to her on messenger quite late christmas eve and she was still doing an essay. I'm sure your sister will be fine, just tell her that nothing we do in life is terminal, things will often not go how we want but with the right attitude we can do anything.
2007-01-04 04:20:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it would help her to do a 'pro and con' list with regards to staying on this course-seeing the for and against might help her put it into perspective and find the decision that's right for her. Most importantly,she needs to unerstand that not finishing the course would not be failing herself-not being true to herself is the only way she could fail herself.
2007-01-04 01:06:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your sister is trying to be perfect. Wether they is older or younger your siblings want to make you proud. And she could want to please your parents. It could be that your sister has never felt that your poarents want her to be a perfect little girl. And it is also possible that she is suffering from OCD. I'd suggest that you and her, (even if your not very close), take a shopping trip, go to a beach ECT. Just the two of you. Make sure she does not bring work along, it'll only stress her out even more.
2007-01-04 01:11:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to talk to a senior tutor at uni.
My son was in a very similar position and they helped him through it by changing his course so that he was able to qualify for a BA but not an honours degree. This also meant that he came through it without losing face.
The tutors are there to help and,tell your sister not to worry, because they have probably dealt with similar cases before.
2007-01-04 01:05:25 · answer #5 · answered by dawleymouse 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
what a worrying time for her she should just try to keep calm and just do the best she can ,try to get her to go out and relax a bit, im sure she will do just fine,happy newyear to you and yours from all in uk.
2007-01-04 01:01:07 · answer #6 · answered by LYNDA M 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i get stressed. don't we all? i would tell her to chill out. try walking. try friends. i'm bipolar so i know stress. any ques u have try me dogmicjoe@yahoo.com
2007-01-04 00:59:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋