I hav a problem talking to girlz in pubs. when i was younger i got a few rejections from girls and now that has really damaged my confidance. even when i hav a few drinks i still cant pluck up the courage to chat to girls. is there any tips people can give? what can i say to them without sounding stupid like 'do you come her often'?
2007-01-04 00:33:41 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You just have to go up and chat. There is no magic bullet.
When you get up there to chat with them, save for minor issues, the food sucks, etc., keep it upbeat and happy. Even if you start off by complaining about the food, make a little joke of it.
Don't say anything that isn't true. I little stretching of the truth is ok, but lying will only get you trapped.
Just keep to being yourself and the right girl will find you. If a girl likes you for who (or despite) who you are, you have 75% of the battle already won.
2007-01-04 00:37:31 · answer #1 · answered by Geo-Guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly I agree with Booya, that pubs aren't there to meet girls for a relationship. As regard being confident, first of all you have to be more secure about yourself, cause from your telling I got the impression that you are vey insecure of yourself cause of the past rejections. Those rejections had to make you stronger in character and not weaker.
Then comes the shyness. You have to stop being shy because this problem can make you loose many opportunities that come in life.
The last thing you have to do is when you are secure of yourself and you are not shy anymore, then comes the subject to speak on with girls. Don't use male subjects because many girls don't have interest in these. A subject that most girls like are about famous persons such as actors, football players, singers, musicians etc. So if I were you I will try to gain as much information as possible on this subject, which can be obtained easily nowadays from the internet and when I meet a girl I would initiate knowing what she likes apart from asking her name.
But I think that the first few words will be difficult to say because after a while both of you will be more confident and so talk more believe me mate.
Good Luck my friend hope this helps.
2007-01-04 00:56:08 · answer #2 · answered by Falcon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a girls point of view - I hate it when boys are too cocky but yet hate it when they are too shy too even approach you. Just give a few smiles then go up to her with "hi" hopefully you will have something to talk about regarding the place you are both in, like music, food etc. Pay her a compliment too - something like - you have got beautiful eyes etc. Cheesy chat lines never work either....just be yourself.
2007-01-04 00:45:33 · answer #3 · answered by kalina_walters 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends on what type of girl u are talking to. If shes very attractive, start by something like this" your dress caught my eye, I like the style. but you sh'd try it in black instead. You'd look better with in blank instead of red". You know attractive girls get hit by lots of guys all the time, so by telling her this, you are being different from all those guys who told her she looks like a princess. and shes gonna have a crush, thinking of what you said and thats gonna make interested coz you're being confident and mysterious. 2ndly, if you wanna be confident, then you talk to girl the way you talk to an ordinary girl that you are not interested. like they way you talk to you sis. Unpredictability, mysteriousness, are good at getting girls. Never ask girls what the want in a guy, they always dont mean what the say they want. they see something unusual, they say they want it . thats they way they are. sorry girl, thats the truth
2007-01-04 01:09:24 · answer #4 · answered by fine boy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Body language my boy! There is no point fixating on a girl unless you read the body language to see if she is interested in you. It's not a snub to your self confidence if they just don't fancy you, and we all have different tastes.
Just take the time to see if she keeps looking at you. If you just fix on someone you fancy and dive in, you are going to be playing the odds as to if she fancies you. You need to put on a display, just like other animals. You need to be with your group, and be seen to be the centre of it, people laughing at your stories, people appearing to want to be near you. AND she needs to see all this. After you've spent 30 minutes at this game, making eye contact, smiling etc, if she is doing the same, you walk up to her and say "Hello"
The wrong way would be to sit there on your own like Dwaine Dibbly with your thermos and parker jacket, spot a girl you fancy, freak her out by staring at her, and then walking up to her and daying "Get your coat, you've pulled"
2007-01-04 00:57:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't know how to explain this, but to just act cool and calm. Act like you don't even care if there are girls in there or not. It has to be projected in your outward carma to these women that you would be a challenge for them. Women are looking for something they can be interested in. It has to catch them from the beginning. Act uninterested in them and they will become self-conscience about it and want to get your attention to try and make you interested.
2007-01-04 00:38:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Offer her a drink in a confidant manner. Then pick up some common intresting to talk.
2007-01-04 00:39:07 · answer #7 · answered by ANU U 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best way is to be yourself. if you make eye contact smile say hi, dont say do you come here often, she'll laugh in your face. Comment on the music, whether you like it or not, say you like her perfume ask what is it, or say what a lovely smile she has. something to make her feel good about herself. most important be yourself - if she tries to make a fool of you walk away she's not worth it. but dont let it knock your confidence - its not rocket science, just have fun.
2007-01-04 00:39:02 · answer #8 · answered by Helen C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say hi... its the best pick up line ever... and a pub isn't really a great place to pick up girls. We go there to get attention, not to go get a date... Pubs to girls = ego boost.
2007-01-04 00:35:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest start by rebuilding ur confidence. Confidence is extremely inportant when it comes to women. Women love a man to be confident and emotionally matured. Dont let ur past experiences affect ur future with women. Its rarely simple. To establish confidence, u must start by being happy with ur self (physically, mentally). then from there, u take the next step..... being confident around women, ....................................goodluck
2007-01-04 00:40:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋