why must my dad cite examples of me so called failing my exams . i mean i never failed a major exam in my life before i remember failing one class test and i cried because i never failed in my life before and only failed by 2 marks (that was when i was 14yrs). and he keeps telling my 11 year old brother about how i was stupid to fail , stupid to teach people stupid to talk on the phone too much ..
can u imagine after 11 yrs he still bring the thing up !!! i mean come on i already have my degree and he still thinks im stupid. why must be pick on me since i'm the oldest? why can he cite example on my the rest? they are school dropouts failed their major exams smoke drugs and i;m still the bad one!!!
i was so pissed off i told him off and he still make it as if its a big deal.. i mean why does he hates me so much
2007-01-04 00:25:09 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i mean why can he say about my other siblings who failed and drop out of school .. why me why me
2007-01-04 00:26:54 · update #1
yes. i am already 25 . i do have a stable career but our culture dont exactly allow unmarried children live on their own so we all live in one house..
my dad does not work . i have been providing household $$ but somehow he still thinks i'm the bad one.
sometimes i wonder if i were to be the opposite will it all stop.
i cannot take it anymore
2007-01-04 00:48:36 · update #2
university degree.. seriously i dont feel like typing correctly and checking it. i really am mad
2007-01-04 00:50:03 · update #3
Had the same problem almost all my life. If it's for the same reason as with my Dad, it's just that:
1: he has unrealistic expectations of you based on how you were perfect as a child, and
2: he is giving you the kick up the backside that he wishes his own parents had given him, to stop you wasting your life the way he feels he has wasted his.
He's never had as high expectations for my little sister and they've always got on great, to give you an extra parallel with your case.
I solved my problem with my Dad by seeing him much less often (I live abroad and don't go back, he visits 4 times or so per year). This meant that he wasn't in on every little thing in my life (and couldn't beat me over the head with things I'd said I wanted to do and then changed my mind about); it also meant that when we see each other now, our conversations are much deeper and more concentrated...that's how we worked out the "diagnosis" above, together.
Good luck...just remember he's only your father, he's not perfect either.
2007-01-04 00:36:11 · answer #1 · answered by rosbif 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't have an answer for you, he has some issues that he needs to address himself........you'll may never know the reasons, but don't let it control you OK, someday he might come around and see how much he has hurt you, Time can only tell, My father also treated me like sh!t, I was 30yrs old when he came around and asked me to forgive him, and I did.. He has passed on now, and I am glad that he finally realized the pain he caused me, and I only have love for him now, go nd wash your hands of it and leave the past behind OK, and remember that you are a better person because of the way you were treated by your father, he has actually given you a gift, you just never new it.
2007-01-04 00:41:43 · answer #2 · answered by Diana J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does not hate you, he loves you, I think he is doing reverse psychology with you, like the more he remind you of the one bad grade the better you will do. Its working isn't it? Let him know the next time he brings the subject up, that you thank him for riding your behind but you now have gotten it. He can now lay off, because you are doing good and you are never going to get a bad grade that he can see. Remind him that you can't be stupid because he is not stupid and he did not raise stupid kids. Then ask him for about $50.00 so that you can make yourself a little better by buying yourself something nice.
2007-01-04 00:32:05 · answer #3 · answered by stringhead3 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Somehow he must have had high expectations from you, since you were the epitome of all his expectations and your minor failure must have been the one that made the most impression in his mind and hurt him the deepest. Still, he is wrong to keep bringing it up again and again, even after such a long time. When he starts on you anytime, just say, "And don't forget to add the rest of your children were brighter than me!" in a sarcastic tone.
2007-01-04 00:47:23 · answer #4 · answered by Smriti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family relationships are tough.
A. You may need to develop a thicker skin if you want to maintain a relationship with your father. Try laughing it off and not showing him that it bothers you.
B. Or, if you can stand it, distance yourself somewhat. Let him know that you don't appreciate your comments and that they hurt you. Be honest. If he still doesn't tone it down, you can take approach c.
C. Stop talking to him. You didn't say how old you are or if you live with him. Hopefully you don't. If you do - it's time to move out and on!
Good luck!
2007-01-04 00:30:12 · answer #5 · answered by Lolly 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Regardless of the reason your dad says these things to you, it is abuse. Verbal abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse. It could be that he is jealous of what you have accomplished. I'd simple tell him that his opinion is not longer wanted, and no longer going to be tolerated. Say it nicely, and with respect. But let him know you will not be treated like this any longer. Be proud of yourself, you've worked hard for what you have accomplished and you deserve to be respected too.
2007-01-04 00:44:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he is saying it to your brother to stop him feeling so pressured? does he have any exams coming up or anything? sit your dad down and tell him you dont like it your not stupid and just hope he understands, let him know how its making you feel. does he have a very good job or much of an education because maybe he could be jelous?
2007-01-04 00:29:42 · answer #7 · answered by caz 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
when you are the favorite child out of all them they pick on you the worst. my dad used to tell me because i was the child he favored he expedcted the best from me and and would take no excuses. so it may not be he hates you it may be he favors you and wants the rest to kknow that when you screwed up it hurt him. he dont relize it hurt you also and by keep bringing it up is because that is the only failure you have. ignore it and tell him to get over it
2007-01-04 00:31:23 · answer #8 · answered by furby_lost 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i really dont know why parents do that. my parents are exactly the same..... they always talk about how good other kids are... even though they arent (and they know it too!!!). they are always comparing me to someone and i laugh to myself because it's ridiculous.
i think it's just in their nature... but they don't know how much it does hurt our feelings.
i honestly dont know what to say to help ya- but to cheer up and look on the bright side of things- no matter what your dad said... you still made it!! you still graduated... and you are above the rest. keep your head up!!
2007-01-04 00:31:32 · answer #9 · answered by tooxswt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is that your father is the stupid one. Don't pay attention to it. Go on. You're a winner. The best answer to your father will be your success in life.
2007-01-04 00:30:00 · answer #10 · answered by cb56br 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋