We have been together for nearly 5 years, unmarried, no kids, we're 24, and were virgins when we met.
He cheated on me in november in a one night stand and confessed all by himself three weeks later-there was no way I'd have known or found out otherwise.I told him I would forgive and forget until I found out that he had her number and she slept over in his apartment twice (he said nothing happened either time tho).When I caught him lying about calling her and getting texts from her I dumped him by text.
When we met up 2 or 3 days after that he wanted to get back together but I asked if he was curious about other people and he said yes so I said we should take a break and see other people over Xmas.
He slept with someone else on thursday 22nd, and he said it was awkward and boring,and he didn't enjoy it, he says loves me and can't wait to see me in the new year.
I'm supposed to be meeting him tomorrow.
Any advice?
Is this something he can just get out of his system?
2007-01-04 00:15:47 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
(I feel a bit stupid for not wanting to sleep around too at this point, but i dont think i could sleep with someone i didn't love.my first few experiences with guys were awful, molested by paedo at 11, attacked at 14, attacked at 17...not one good bf besides this one!
2007-01-04 00:23:36 · update #1
I love him so much. I think that this is a phase and im hoping he will explain to me what is going on.i would love to get back with him, maybe not tomorrow though...agh! id dont know what to do!!!Thanks for your answers guys!!!
2007-01-04 00:36:09 · update #2
hes no good for you..he obviously felt trapped in your relationship and he needs to go out and sleep with other women..hes always going to cheat on you you have to toughen up and break up with him.
2007-01-04 00:18:52 · answer #1 · answered by fajita 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you want to get back............but put that aside.
You need to think about what he has done. It was good he told you the first time, but he probably hasn't told you the whole truth.
Anyway, he probably was just curious, but that doesn't erase the fact that he cheated on you, and could do it again.
You can not tell him he can get back with you tomorrow, you need to value yourself enough to let him know that this is just not on!
Let him feel the pain of maybe really loosing you, if he gets you back too quick, then he may think he can do this again without too much too hassle.
This will be very hard if you still really want him, you will have to resist or in other words take yourself on!
After letting him feel real loss, then maybe you can give him a chance!!!
Just remember your worth more than being cheated on.
2007-01-04 00:32:14 · answer #2 · answered by kez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Time to cut your losses and find someone new. He had his chances. He lied. He actually slept with a girl in his bed, where he made love with you. What an asshole! Telling you nothing happened and expecting you to believe it shows he's thinks you're gullible and will let him get away with anything. For the record, a lot of people are curious about other people, but when we are in committed relationships, we do not act on our curiosity.
He's crossed the line too many times, cut him loose. Good luck.
2007-01-04 00:21:29 · answer #3 · answered by Firespider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortumatley no. He will always wonder what he is "missing" by being faithful. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Find someone who respects you for who you are and repsects your values. Yea it says that you were going to see other people You did not say sleep with other people. I put him out on the curb with the rest of the garbage where he belongs. I know its hard now but in the long run it will be better for you. If you stayed with him and he cheated again how would you feel?
2007-01-04 00:24:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loved you so much then he wouldnt care about what other people are like. Sounds to me like he wants to sleep around, but still have a girlfriend to fall back on when no one else wants him. He sounds very insecure. If I was you Id be running for the hills as fast as I could. He knows your past, yet he still treats you like this. And after hes cheated on you once could you honestly trust him? Hes lied to you on more than one occasion so whats to stop him doing it again if you get back together.
2007-01-04 00:50:55 · answer #5 · answered by fallenangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey you poor thing you must be tearing up inside i hope this helps. my partner and i have been together since we were 14 im now 27 and in our early twentys my partner done the same thing
we split up for a year and started seeing other people to see if we were truelly meant to be together and we are . we are back together and regret ever hurting each other in the past. they say that if you tuelly love someone set them free and if they feel the same they will come back. i think if you let him go for a while you will feel better bout things instead of turning into a paranoid wreck over him and if he means what he says he will woo you all over again let him sweat for a while he has hurt you and you deserve better make him work for you he messed up and he needs to fix it . i hope this helps hun you take care and good luck and remember every woman deserves to be treated like a queen
2007-01-04 00:31:43 · answer #6 · answered by samantha l 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one honey,
Now you aren't sure if you can trust him but you still have feelings for him.
It also sounds like you 2 don't live near each other as well.
From my own experience he could be living another life b/c he can't get to you. I'm amazed he told you the truth about it, but that was b/c he felt guilty.
Only you know how exaclty this person is.
Good luck
2007-01-04 00:24:49 · answer #7 · answered by ♦ Phoenix Rising♦ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's obviously searching for something more than you possess. He just wants you conveniently at hand while he's going through this process. What if it takes him 10 years to get it 'out of his system'? Are you willing to put your life on hold and risk him bringing some STD home to you? He's young, immature, and selfish. Move on...and find someone who's on your level emotionally. By the time he gets this 'out of his system', he might be settled down with someone other than you. You've invested enough already.
2007-01-04 00:24:50 · answer #8 · answered by bfwh218 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
regardless of what he says - he doesnt love you the way he should. Everybody gets curious now and again - but to be curious is one thing - to act on it is another. No matter how much he wants to explore - out of dedication and commitment to you he should NOT have strayed.
I dont care that ye were both virgins when ye met - you should be enough - what he never had elsewhere he can never miss. I wouldnt get back with him hun - you deserve better. xx
2007-01-04 00:26:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear... he's cheated on you more than once! How many more times has he? Just ask yourself that. Can you really trust him now? He's already lied to you, once a cheater, always a cheater! You are much too good for him and you deserve better! My advice would be to tell him where to go. Find a man that is honest and won't lie to you, and won't cheat!!
Hope everything goes well for you!
2007-01-04 00:22:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break it off. Before there is marriage and children. You both need to live and there are others out there for you. It is hard to think of being with someone else if you have only been with one but you will look back on it with a different light
2007-01-04 00:21:33 · answer #11 · answered by vertical c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋