Do you have to go to Church to have a catholic wedding? My partner is catholic, but doesn't go to church.?

Question

Do you have to go to Church to have a catholic wedding? My partner is catholic, but doesn't go to church.?I'm an Athiest, but was christened by the church of England as a child. Before you ask, we have to get married in a catholic church. My boyfriends family is very religious and won't accept him getting married outside the catholic church. He's the elsest son in an African family and needs to set an example. He would be willing to start going church however I wouldn't. I'm only getting married in a catholic church because I have to. His Family have made it clear. A catholic wedding or no wedding.

Answer 1

To get married in a Catholic church, at least one person has to be confirmed Catholic and belong to a church (registering with the church as a member). Both of you will have to attend pre-marital classes, regardless of your faith. There will be a big push for you to become Catholic and to raise any children that you may have as Catholics (which will definitely be required if his family wants the children baptized as Catholic).

Are you atheist or agnostic? Atheist is that you don't believe there is any higher power and there is nothing after death. Agnostic is that you just don't know if there is and are waiting for proof of some higher power. Being Catholic is about having faith that there is a God, a heaven and hell, and believing without seeing or having proof.

You may want to rethink whether or not you want to be married to this person whose faith means a great deal. Have you worked out how you will raise your children? Why does he need his parents permission to marry? There are a lot of questions to be answered, because religion and faith can often be a great source of conflict in a marriage...which could result in heartbreak further down the road.

Answer 2

Yes, you usually have to be a practicing Catholic, but he needs to go talk to his parish priest.
You, however, have some problems to resolve. If you get married in the Catholic church, you HAVE to agree to raise your children in the Catholic faith. If you are an athiest, how are you going to do that? Also, I don't think that it's right that you are being hypocritical, going against your own beliefs, and making a mockery of having a wedding of faith when you don't want to.
You need to talk this all out with your man, and have things decided about religion in your family-to-be, and what your specific beliefs and plans are.
I'm also hoping that you and he are adults, and therefore should be able to make your own wedding plans and decisions, not taking so much stock in what his parents are dictating.

Answer 3

Well if you are an athiest, it would be meaningless, hypocritical and a farce you attending a Catholic Wedding. It would make the whole thing a total mockery. Will you be telling the priest that you are an athiest, that you have no interest in the Church and the service you will be attending is just a load of mumbo jumbo to you?

Answer 4

you'll have to start going then because catholics are very very picky like that/ most churches will give you a hard time if you arent a member of that church. my mom had to go to classes before she married my dad because she wasnt catholic. go to church a few times then talk to the priest about it. personally I wouldnt listen to his parents about the catholic wedding or no wedding. your religion is your choice and going to church just to be able to get married is wrong. going to church is something people should do because they want to, not have to. (just so you know...I am catholic and no, I dont attend church. I got married in a chapel to avoid all this stuff)

Answer 5

Strictly speaking no you cannot get married in a Catholic church.

It depends on how accommodating your priest is and how much he is prepared to 'bend' the rules.

If you are prepared to 'play' the system, then your partner attending mass, and making himself known to the priest would be a start. However when preparations for the wedding are taking place the priest will want to talk to both of you, and if you tell him that you are an atheist then he may well refuse to marry you in church. After all the reason for the church wedding is to get married 'in the sight' of god. If you don't believe in god the whole process is pointless.

Some priests may be willing to officiate at a wedding if only one partner is Catholic, but they would generally expect that any children be raised as Catholics.

These rules may seem arcane and intolerant to you, but try to look at this from the priests point of view. Religion is a commitment, not something to be taken up and dropped as it suits the situation at the time. Faith is not a commodity like coffee or mars bars. How would you feel if someone used something you felt really strongly about just to have the 'right' sort of wedding, later to drop it like used tissue paper once it had served its purpose?

The fault lies with your partner's family, they should respect yours and your partners wish to get married how it pleases you, not them. If they are forcing their beliefs on you then just get together with your partner and set up home, this would upset them far more, but may well alienate your partner from his family.

Answer 6

You both need to talk with a priest in the church where you are thinking about being married—whatever your reasons. The priest will lay out the requirements to be married in the church. I suggest that you approach the matter in a respectful way as a preference (all things considered). You would both have to be practicing Catholics to be married in the alter area inside of the rail but you can be married in the church outside the rail if the priest gives his consent. Good luck.

Answer 7

Being an "active" Catholic is not a requirement.

As long as either the bride or groom are baptized Catholic then the couple may be married in the Catholic Church.

With love in Christ.

Answer 8

What would be the big deal in going with him for a few weeks, just to keep the peace and get Married in the Church.

Then you can do what you want after that.

Answer 9

This is unfortunate... neither you nor your boyfriend have any interest in a religious wedding. Regardless of what one believes, it is wrong to compel you to that belief. It should be arrived at freely or not at all.

I suppose it should be asked whether the parents also expect you to have a religiously-run household, a religious upbringing for the kids, etc. I am a Catholic, ardently so, and believe it is a wonderful way to Christ. But if you don't believe in it, then forcing you to adhere to the form but not the substance is immoral.

You and your future husband, as spouses, will have to write your own script and leave behind the one his family is writing for you.

Answer 10

You don't have to go to church to get married in the catholic church as long as he is a member of that church. It would be nice if he showed up every now and then just to show his face, but don't have to.

Just like me, I'm getting married in the catholic church I'm catholic and a member of the church where as he is undecided on his faith but just as long as one of us is catholic we can get married in the catholic church.

Now some Catholic churches have a counciling sessions or something like that that the both of you have to attend they are not fun but you do have to attend them.

I hope this helped