We have 4 children 26,17,13,11. and have been married for 25 years. My wife and i get on like a house on fire except for our approach to discipline with with our kids. Our eldest lost in way at 16...whereby he got into trouble with the police and started taking cocaine stole from us....This should have been a wake up call...this has made me more "strict "with my other 3....and god bless they are respectful...polite "normal" kids....but feel they still need to be guided further to be better people...My heart tells me they wont grow up into addicts...but also when i try ans say something to my kids they have an attitude with me..is this Divide and rule?....Are this signs of further problems later on in their lives?...how can i unite my wife behind me without attavhing blame...make her see what we are doing to our kids?...i always say to my wife that her relation with the kids is affecting my relation with her....do i love the kids less?...she makes be believe that...:(...HELP!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-03 23:48:35 · 7 answers · asked by Bob P 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Need to change yourself first. You are the parent, you tell the child to do something andthe child will say Yes Mam/Sir. and begin doing what you have instructed. If my Granny told me to take the garbage out, I said Yes Mam! and took the garbageout.
If I said ANYTHING that was disresctfull, smart alec or whatever, I would not have gotten Supper and I prolly woulda got a her a switch and then been spanked. But before you get all Politically Correct or some BS, lemee tell you, Granny only spanked me once, cause that is all it takes.
You wanna live with wild hooligans that is your choice.
You want to teach them manners and respect, that is your choice also.
Your wife and you need to have an open talk. Cook her dinner, send all the kids to a movie show or somethin, then sit down and ask her whatever you want, or ask her to ask you whatever she wants, then yall be open and honest with each other. Enjoy the meal, and learn from each other about each other.
Now you and woman are of one mind, you agreed and now are acting as one.
The child that stole from you, ask your partner/wife what she thinks should be done, then let her know what you think should be done. Find a middle area that you both agree on and do it.
The parent that does nothing can only blame themselves for any of the actions of the child.
The parents that are involved are the ones that care and take action.
2007-01-04 00:20:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just because one kid messed up doesn't mean the others will follow, they may actually learn from the troubles your oldest got into. yes you need to be strict with your kids, but don't punish the good ones for fear they will turn out like your oldest. but also don't be an enabler. maybe you and your wife need to see a counselor about this because signs show that what you went through with your oldest child has really put a strain on your marriage, you can't take sides you need to unite as parents and set the rules you both want your children to follow, if they break the rules then show them the consequences take thinks away.
2007-01-04 01:48:45 · answer #2 · answered by kissybertha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your wife aside, never debate discipline in front of the kids. Then, when she makes the argument about loving less tell her flat out that she's dodging the issue, which she is. That argument is simply a smokescreen. But you had better be ready to back yourself up by walking out. Don't ever bluff.
It sounds like a tough situation and your wife is manipulating you. You might want to seek marriage counseling because she sounds like a tough one.
2007-01-04 00:00:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of my punishments when my kids get an attitude is to make them sit a write sentences. They can not stand it. Occasionally they get spankings, but for the most part, the sentences work. make them sit where they can't watch tv and write. At your kids ages start around 250 up to 500 hundred sentences to begin with. Now most of the time when I say sentences they lose their attitudes real quick.
2007-01-04 00:44:40 · answer #4 · answered by Jodi C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Positive Discipline for Teenagers" by Jane Nelsen
2007-01-04 01:48:25 · answer #5 · answered by Eveline S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg i just lit a fart and diarea came gushing out. my whole room stinks bad and i have the diarea all down my left leg. oh im cold its chilly in here
2007-01-03 23:56:59 · answer #6 · answered by mr_ignorant2000 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
tkje4 is one mean hombre....I'm glad I'm not HIS kid!!
2007-01-04 01:32:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋