WEDDINGS: if you invite your work colleagues should you invite their partners too?

Question

What's the etiquette? We're having a little private cerimony for the wedding and then a nice big disco party, should we invite our work colleagues' partners too? Thanks!

Answer 1

Absolutely, if you know they have partners. This includes gay people. If you are not sure if someone is attached, it is good taste to always put in the invitation "*Name* and a guest." That covers all bases.
--That Cheeky Lad

Answer 2

I totally understand where you're coming from. I was thinking of doing the same thing for my wedding. However, I read on some etiquette sites that you "must" invite the spouses and/or live-in partners. For my wedding, I plan to invite my married coworkers w/ their spouses. Those who are single or not in a serous relationship, I won't be able to invite their guests. Good luck & Congrats!

Answer 3

I ran into this same problem at my wedding just a few months ago. I have a group of really good friends at work, and there are about 7 of them. I wanted to invite them as a "group", not their partners, who I didn't know that well. My budget was tight, so I searched for the right answer. By etiquette it says that it is perfectly fine to invite a group of co-workers, not their partners. I pulled my boss aside and politely let her know. I explained that I had a tight budget but the wedding just wouldn't be right without everyone from work coming. She totally understood, but I did hear "rumors" about the fact they weren't invited. I am sure it was awkward for them to go home and say, hey, it I have to go to a wedding, but you can't come. In the end, all my co-workers came and had a really great time. I did hear from other social groups they know that they were a bit upset their partners didn't come, but as far as I could see this did not impact them having a great time. I think they were the loudest, most fun group their. I guess the answer to your question is tough. Just remember it is your day, your special day, and don't let anyone ruin it. They may not be too happy about your decision, but do what is best for you!

Answer 4

It depends how many colleagues you're inviting - too many and you'll end up with loads of people you might not have met! You could say only invite wives, not girlfriends, but then that's not the same rule for everyone and people might be a bit annoyed. Some people might prefer to just attend it alone anyway! If there are a lot of colleagues, I'd say don't invite partners - they'll all know each other anyway so they'll have plenty of people to talk to. If there are only a few colleagues going, I'd say do invite partners. You could also invite only the partners you have met before.

Answer 5

Here is the rule on inviting a guest.
It is unacceptable to invite a married co-worker and not invite the spouse. They are to be counted as one. Just imagine when you are married and someone invites your husband and not you...totally unacceptable.

Now you need to look at other unions outside of marriage. Etiquette says that if a person has a significant other (if they live together or have been together for a long time), then yes...by all means invite them.

This is the exact reason why I avoided inviting co-workers b/c it gets too complicated and people start to treat your wedding like it's a cookout instead of a formal affair. I've been married for 1 1/2 years and believe me deciding who to invite and who not to invite doesn't even matter now.

Answer 6

Yes, I'm going to, I have a few work colleagues coming to the main event too. I'm only inviting partners for those I know have them though, not just random plus 1's as it puts a lot of pressure on people I think.

Answer 7

If the private ceremony of marriage is to be organized, then invite only the most private ones, not the colleagues, Invite Colleagues with their partners in the big Party which u r supposed to give.

Answer 8

The first piece of advice is to make multiple guest lists.

The first list is of the guests you are absolutely positive you want to invite. These are the people you want to make sure come to your wedding. Alternatively, a reception guest list would be perfect for those who you want to invite only to the reception.

Finally, you can create an alternative guest list. These guests are those who you intend to invite as other invitees from the original guest list decline.

Whichever of these versions of wedding guest lists you're working on, etiquette suggests that you invite spouses, live-in partners, fiancés, the clergy and more. Additionally, the parents of the ring bearers and flower girls should be invited, but not necessarily the parents of the bridal party members.

Answer 9

I'd give an open invitation to the department and they can decide if they want to bring partners or not. If you send indiviual invitations and put "plus partner" then the single people might feel pressured to bring a guest and as a result might think it's too "couply" for them to go on their own. Also in every department there are people going through marital problems. Leave it open and then people can do what they are comfortable with. People can come with partners or not and all sit at together in the one big group.

Answer 10

It's completely up to you - either is acceptable in this day and age. After all, it's you (or your family, same thing for this discussion) that's paying for the wedding, you therefore have a set budget which works out at a certain number of people. If inviting partners does not break the bank, then it's a nice gesture. If however, you already have enough people invited, people will understand. (or they will if you tell them you can only cater for a certain number).