Controlled crying???

Question

Do you agree or disagree with this practice? Has it worked for you? I'm preparing myself to start it as my 7mo baby will not fall asleep on his own & i'm tired of going to bed with him for half an hour or so every time he needs a sleep. I also did this with my other 2 children & i'm over it big time. Please help me. I'm a single parent sowill have to do it on my own.

Answer 1

you poor thing. being a single parent makes it extra hard because you haven't got someone there to help you be strong.

if you could get a friend or relative to stay over a few nights just for moral support and to stop you giving in that would be great.

at 7 months they are well and truly ready to 'learn to self-soothe and sleep'. She/he just has you wrapped around their finger for the moment because they know if they cry that you'll come back.

ok, now be brave and be tough.

Steps:
Put baby down for sleep, say good night etc and leave. (you might want to incorporate a quick routine like qucik story, kiss teddy goodnight, kiss baby good night, snuggle teddy etc)
Wait 10 minutes at least.
LISTEN to what baby's cries sound like. Most people muck it up because they go in when baby is winding down.
they usually cry a lot to start and then the space between cries lengthens. if that happens wait a little longer before going in.

If the crying is still pretty full-on after the 10 minutes then go in and pat baby, say shhhh shhhh etc but do not pick baby up. Only go in for a maximum of 3 minutes to calm baby down and then leave again.

Next wait is for 15 minutes, next wait is 20 minutes up to a maximum wait time before going in of 20 minutes. renenber when you go in don't pick baby up and make the visit brief.

After 2 or 3 nights you then extend the time before you go in to 15 minutes on the first round. Eventually you extend to 20 minutes on the first round (but hopefully that won't happen as they'll be ok by then).

It sounds hard and it is hard but so worthwhile once it is done. The hardest part is you staying strong for the week (possibly two as she is an older child) while you implement this new way of going to sleep.

Good luck and email me if you need support!!!


ADDED: Just to clarify for some people who might misunderstand my intentions. Controlled crying is a technique where you settle baby and comfort/reassure them from time to time while they go to sleep. Crying it out method is dumping baby in bed and letting them fall asleep from exhaustion. I believe 'crying it out' does work, I however, do not agree with this method and think it is cruel. Controlled crying (i believe) is a happy medium between constantly rocking, patting etc to sleep and the crying it out method.

Answer 2

Yikes, this question and the above answers, make me want to start crying myself! I have three children 16, 15 and 3 weeks. I didn't do this with the older ones, and don't and won't do this with the baby. First of all, I couldn't/can't stand to hear them cry, and I hate to think that they are scared that I left them. As a result, my two boys are very close to their dad and I, and my youngest, just now 3 weeks, rarely cries period. When she's ready to go to sleep, and I can tell, we nurse, or I snuggle her on my chest, and gently pat her back. I sing softly to her, and stroke her face. She is out in minutes. If the child isn't ready, for whatever reason, they aren't ready, and in my opinion, you are causing damage by letting them cry. Try a whind down period before bed. A calming bath, a story, a song, the rocking chair.

I would think that if you're that sleep deprived with a 7 month old, you'd welcome the chance to lay down with him....and get some ZZZZzzzz's yourself.

Answer 3

I totally agree with "cybachic2000", i have a 7-month old baby girl, she used to always cry when i put her to sleep in her crib, she was so used to sleeping in my arms, but i tried this method, and it worked perfect for her. she is now a good sleeper, i just have to pat her for a min or 2 and she goes to sleep. Lately she has been waking up a couple of times in the night since she is teething, i wait for a while to see she can fall asleep on her own, most of the time, she will cry for a little bit and then go back to sleep, and sometimes i have to pat her. So plz try this method as explained by "cybachic2000", it will work perfectly for your baby, trust me, good luck.

Answer 4

Just let him cry. He wil have to learn eventually or else you will ahve a baby sleeping in your bed until he is 6 or 7 years old. I've seen it happen before with a friend of mine and her child is not 5 and will not sleep in his own room or alone. It's because he co-slpet with his mom since birth. He will eventually fall asleep on his own, but start now while he is still younger. Trust me, you won't regret doing it.

Answer 5

I have a 11 month old daughter, yes we tried this method and it does work. It was very hard for to do this , as we found it very difficult and could barely stand it. With persistance and patience, our daughter calmed her self down and now we know exactly why she is crying for and we know what to do about it.

Answer 6

Well eventually all children will physically exhaust themselves through crying and go to sleep whether their needs were met or not....never tried it myself though

Answer 7

research is undecided on how well this works (it probably works as well as anything), but one thing is for sure: that whatever method you use, you should stick with it, so your baby always knows what to expect and what the routine is. it helps him feel safe and never confused.

Answer 8

i tried it with my daughter and I couldn't bear lettin her cry, so I went the co-sleeping route. I guess co-sleeping was easier for me..

Answer 9

Yes it works, but you need to be consistent with it.

Answer 10

I used it with all three of my kids. Works very well and does no harm.