1 week before xmas I found £60 missing from my purse...It was def stolen in my home and could only have been one of my 5 children...I talked to them all and concluded that it could only have been the eldest two 15 and 17. the 15 year old had been caught stealing 1 year ago and had been gruonded for 1 month and promised me he had learnt his lesson. he was distraught when I accussed him and I dont feel like he was acting!!!the 17 year old just said it wasn't her and never mentioned it again. I have no prove so there is nothing I can do but I feel so betrayed I let it go because I didnt want to ruin xmas but I feel like I have let whoever done it away with it and want some answers. My gut is telling me it was my 17 year old she needed the money more she has a busy social life now and only gets £40 a week for her part ime job. But my son has stole before. Any advice. should I just let it go and be more careful with my money or try get the truth.
2007-01-03 22:26:33 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
my advice is... buy a small house safe for about 25 pounds. then lock your purse in there every time you are at home. i would think it was the 17 yr old, thinking her bro would take the blame because he has been caught b4.
2007-01-03 22:30:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
I wish I had got £40 pounds a week to buy crap with!
Try letting them have some control over their child benefit, and become a little more independant in that way. They have to learn to appreciate money/or lack of money.
Listen to their individual needs, rather than offering punishments for crimes you will never get to the bottom of.
It sounds like a prison camp regime where everyone is accused and really the money should not have been left lying around as temptation.
If they need the money for something then discuss this need, so where did your money go?? Was anything sensible purchased? Trainers/denim CD's etc?? The money could be in the house hidden elsewhere!
If a 17 year old has a busy social life then she must also go and earn money to support this lifestyle, or stay at home and be a child.
Finally, lock away everything, passports, cash , cards, cheque books, documents, and especially car keys etc, lock them all in a safe, this will cost you £20, leave the spare key with a trusted relative who lives elsewhere. Screw the safe down so it cannot be carried off.
£60 pounds going missing is nothing, compared to being burgled for real!
Discuss the needs and wants of each cild individually with them. Ask them to write down how much cash they need each week, for the things they need, then discuss with them where the money can come from and whay they can't have everything they want. Then consider them sharing their 'wealth' out. If one child has £40 a week and the younger sibling has nothing, I think the one with nothing might steel dont you!
2007-01-03 22:38:34 · answer #2 · answered by My name's MUD 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Personally, I'd set someone up....
Put money in a place and let all know that this money is there (give any excuse ((rainy day money, emergency cash etc etc.) and if possible I'd rig up a small camera (which although sounds expensive, a pc web cam costs less than 20 quid)
Theres nothing worse than feeling that you've been stolen from off your own...
Dont accuse neither, because frankly you have no proof, you have in effect assumed that it could be either the 15 or 17 year old discounting the others from what i can gather with no legitimate reason...
Happy hunting though...
2007-01-03 22:33:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
you can't let this go simply because, if your child will steal from you, then in the future they could get into a lot of trouble,because they could steal from other people, and one day they will get caught out, everyone at some time or another faces temptation especially if the money is needed, but the consequences of getting a police record can cause damage obtaining employment etc,you say that your daughter has a part time job, if she is stealing from you,and moves on to steal elsewhere this will jeapordise her future prospects, however you must keep watch on your money,but this really needs to be put a stop too and dealt with now.
2007-01-03 22:43:42 · answer #4 · answered by batty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Buy a safe. I've got one, & you can't go wrong with them. A digital one will lock up after 3 tries at the combination, & they come with a back-up set of keys for that, or when the batteries (2 or 3 AA batteries) run down. If you want to punish the kids now Christmas is over, withdraw their pocket money til the end of the month, or until you've got back the amount you lost.
2007-01-03 22:39:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry 2 here about this but i don't think u should just let it go. £60 is a lot of money, u shouldn't just let who ever done away with it. try getting them both 2gether n then ask them tell them its better who ever took it 2 own up coz if u find out they lied 2 u the trust in the relationship between mother n child will be broken. but dont accuse them, try n find out who done it live money in a drawer or somethink on the side see if any1 takes it.
2007-01-03 22:50:45 · answer #6 · answered by TERRI L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, just the fact that you confronted your children may be enough to scare them. When I was a kid, I remember doing things like that because I thought my mom was too dumb to realize. You have now shown them that you are NOT dumb and you're keeping your eyes on them. I think you should let it go for now and keep your money closely guarded. If it happens again, tell them both that they are both grounded indefinitely until someone confesses.
Good luck!! Things will get better, I was an awful teenager, but now I have a family of my own and I am great friends with my mother. :D
2007-01-03 22:35:12 · answer #7 · answered by rogue0208 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would get her alone and start fake crying and wringing your hands....then tell her you had been saving money for Jerry's kids...or some other charity. And it seems to be gone now and you need her help in finding it so you can give it to him to help the poor kids with illnesses. Or that uncle Tony lost his job and you were going to surprise him with his rent payed Or that you were saving to take them all to disneyland...Lay it on thick. Tell her you were almost sure that you put it in your drawer...you could be mistaken...that way it gives her the opportunity to replace it...or FIND it. If she did it she probably already feels bad for doing that. After you have the money back, you can try and talk with her about how she needn't ever take things. That to ask you if she needs anything and that you love her
2016-03-29 07:08:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't let it go if your kids are stealing money from you it could lead to bigger things. Phone the parents of some of your kids friends see if there kids received any expensive gifts from your daughter. If you find out it was her suspend her allowance for awhile until she has payed back the money she owes you. If she doesnt get an allowance ground her and make her do extra chores to pay it off.
2007-01-04 08:13:40 · answer #9 · answered by nobody 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This can be a real heart breaker, and yes some kids will steal from their parents, watch carefully for signs of drug use, if they get desperate enough for drugs they will steal from anyone including family. Lets hope this was just bad judgment on their part and not Drugs.
2007-01-04 01:27:03 · answer #10 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you have no proof there isn't anything that you can do. You will need to let it go this time and watch out in the future. You could always try to catch them out but even then that isn't the best thing to do. I can't believe that kids are stupid enough to think you won't notice or realise who it is!
2007-01-05 05:08:01 · answer #11 · answered by Yoga Wifey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋