He has gone to his doctor and is on anti-depressants. I have managed to convince him to go to see a professional councellor but dont know what else to do. He doesnt want to talk to other friends or family members. His problems are deep rooted, rather than current things that he can change (eg, death of his parents over 20 years ago). What is the best way that I can help him and do you think he will ever get over this or will depression always be lurking somewhere?
2007-01-03 22:15:13 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
You really have my sympathy with this one. It's hard when somebody trusts you enough to ask for your help or guidance, and as much as you want to help this person you know it's a situation that requires far more than you listening and being a good friend. Depression is a word used excessively and sometimes it doesn't even begin to explain what a person is feeling. Your friend has gone beyond depression and medical intervention is the only thing that will ensure he gets better. From personal experience with a father who suffered with suicidal tendencies, i know the emotional tug you must be feeling right now. You feel you have to do something, anything. My mother tried so hard to help my father, for years she was his rock, and asking for medical help was out of the question. As far as she was concerned, that was letting him down. My father took his life regardless and my mother lives with guilt and regrets. Please don't let this be you, because despite your best efforts, your friends problem wont disappear with kind words and comfort. Your an exceptional friend already by taking the first step of asking for help here. I wish you and your friend all the luck in the world.
2007-01-03 22:50:16 · answer #1 · answered by katie 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Since you have already convinced him to go to counseling you have done more than you think. Being a person whom is depressed myself, I know what it means when someone helps you out in this meaningful way that you have helped this forty some year old man. Even though I am only fourteen, I too have suffered many a loss, some which were when I was six or seven. I am only now just learning how to deal with them. This person has not talked to anyone but you did you say? Well he sounds like he really trusts you so continue to help this person because with your help and the professional help, eventually he will become better. At times you WILL become frustrated but be patient, getting out of depression is a long and sometimes cruel process.
2007-01-04 08:56:29 · answer #2 · answered by wolf girl 15 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He must see a counselor, very soon. Anyone that is suicidal should be taken very seriously. His doctor should have directed him to a counselor before putting him on antidepressants. Some cause suicidal thoughts in the beginning and those people need to be monitored very closely.
I suggest you try to let him know there is help and you will drive him to get it. See if you can set up something through a sucide hotline, they will have information in your area for counselors and other help like support groups. He obviously has not fully grieved the death of his parents and that needs to be worked out. Let him know grief can cause deep depression when not resolved and a counselor can help him get on the right road to do just that.
I also suggest that you get some education regarding suicide via the hotline too, so you fully know what you are dealing with.
If he is at all a spiritual/religious person, Christian counseling is a good way to go too.
2007-01-04 06:58:14 · answer #3 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stick by him. I don't mean 24/7; just have a little patience with him and do your best to support him when he needs it.
Talking from someone who's experienced a major depressive episode, the feeling of utter emptiness can be very...off-putting, to put it mildly. Were I the type of person, I might've been tempted to kill myself as well. The worst part was that the people around me, including my own family, didn't know what was going on, so no one tried to help me.
Your friend is luckier than that; he has you. You obviously care about him to some extent, and you're aware of his problem. Getting him to a therapist is a great start, but only a start. He's going to need support on the home front as well. If you can be a good friend to him and be there for him when he needs it, and he knows how much he matters to you, that's one more thing to keep him from doing anything drastic.
2007-01-04 06:22:43 · answer #4 · answered by vfaulkon 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You said that he doesn't want to talk to others about these problems. Is he willing to talk freely when it comes to you? If he can talk to you, then you could be very helpful in his healing. There are lots of people who try to commit suicide. If he hasn't gone mad, then there are chances to get over his depression. Many people think that dying is the solution to all their problems but things are not that easy :). Have you tried asking him why he wants to take away his life? Many people (those who don't have serious mental problems) have silly motifs. You can observe his answers and give him examples which demonstrate the contrary (this worked for a friend of mine). Lots of people that have gone through many problems in life tend to give up fighting.
Competent counsellors are helpful, but close friend play an important role too. He must identify all his problems and then find a solution (suicide is not the answer).
Meditation techniques are also helpful. They teach how to gain a physical, mental and spiritual equilibrium. These kind of techniques proved themselves far more efficient than pills of any kind.
Anyway, no matter what kind of help he receives, he must be willing to cooperate.
2007-01-04 08:30:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some useful bits about talking/chatting with someone who is suicidal:
# Express your concern and ask if they are thinking about suicide
# Don't give up if they're reluctant to talk, let them know you are there to listen
# Ask how long they have felt this way
# Ask if they have thought about how they would do it (not asking for details of a plan)
# Listen
# Don't act shocked or try to change the subject
# Encourage them to tell you how they feel
# Hear them out, don't jump to conclusions or make judgements
# Try to understand how they feel without offering simple solutions Respond
# Be direct, open and honest
# Let them know you care and that they are not alone
# Help them to understand that suicidal feelings pass and depression can be treated
It is good that he is going to see a councellor, he needs to find someone who he can really talk to about this. Please don't be scared away, in my experience, when someone is suicidal, they want someone to acknowledge how they feel and offer them reasurrance. It is always nice to know that there is someone there, so it might be an idea to tell him that you will always be at the other end of the phone - anytime of day or night - if he needs you. If you make that promise though, you have to stick to it.
It can be very difficult to deal with someone suicidal, so make sure that you look after yourself too.
Depression can be cured, it can go away.
2007-01-04 06:21:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Be a supportive friend. Only you and he knows what this means.
Playing amateur psychiatrist is dangerous so steer clear of trying to do specifics to help.
real depression, as opposed to people saying they are depressed when really then mean they are a bit pissed off at the moment, is deep rooted and tends to stay with people for life. Its like a comfort blanket.
2007-01-04 06:25:23 · answer #7 · answered by Michael H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call his physician and tell them he has talked about suicide to you...let them know..I know HIPAA regulations but it is OK for you to give them facts that you know and ones the doctor needs to know. Offer to go with him if he'll make the appointment. It is very serious when they begin even to talk of suicide......Just be glad he is open enough with you to tell you beforehand. Reassure him how much it would mean to you and others to lose him, and that he needs help.
I lost a grandson to suicide and he had displayed no symptoms at all of depression....hid it very well......Major depression runs in my family, mother, son, niece...but with the right medications they live a productive life and now are out of the suicide thoughts.
2007-01-04 07:54:15 · answer #8 · answered by Gypsygrl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, this is no joking matter. My uncle called my dad 2 years ago on christmas eve, he was depressed and upset because wife moved out.(my aunt). Well he told my dad and my other uncle he was suicidal. Guess what, they didn't believe him enough. They went over to his house, talked with him a while, and thought he was ok. They didn't even make it to the driveway and they couldn't believe what they heard, the shot. He committed suicide. Whatever you do. Do not put yourself in harms way. Maybe call him, call hot lines...If that bad call authorties.. Best of wishes to you! And your friend!
2007-01-04 06:26:37 · answer #9 · answered by Spencer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to take him very seriously. I lost my mother to this and she was a person you would never in a million years think she would take her own life. If you need any advise or someone to talk to feel free to email me!
2007-01-04 07:07:03 · answer #10 · answered by ~cHeRyL~ 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋