i have been with her 4 years and she is gorgeous and the nicest girl ive ever met. i figure any girl i get with from now on is gonna be nowere near as nice as she was. i keep thinkin about what kinda lad she could be with if she wanted and its tearin me to pieces someone with more money a better career etc. out of all honesty i am a good lookin guy(please note i have extremely low self esteem at the minute and do not mean to come across boastful) and have been told so on many an occasion by various other girls yet no matter how hard i try i have no confidence what so ever when it comes to talkin to new girls i just cant bring myself to do it i always assume straight away they have no interest in me at all and dont try. i dont no what im goin to do because if i cant find it in me to talk to other girls how am i ever goin to forget about her better still knowing she could go out tomorrow and have who she wants. i am in a real mess and i need some advice very much appreciated john r
2007-01-03 21:25:10 · 18 answers · asked by john r 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Why did you break up? Was it her choice, your choice, or a mutual decision.
If it was your choice, you could either call her and say you made a mistake and want to try and work it out. Or realize you broke it off for a reason and move on.
If she broke it off, you need to try to understand why and come to grips with that. If it was because of something you did, you can try to apologize - even if she won't take you back, the apology would mean something. If it wasn't because of something you did than you just need to get over her and move on. Either she's a ***** or she felt you weren't compatible. Or after 4 years it could be she wanted to get married and felt you weren't going to pop the question.
No matter what, you need to just take some time to get right with yourself before you try dating someone else. If you go out with the attitude that no one will live up to you ex, then none of your future relationships have a chance.
2007-01-03 21:32:02 · answer #1 · answered by Justin H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear John, Please the first thing you have to do is stop beating yourself up about this and get on with your life. It's so hard at the moment as you have been left feeling rather raw. But better you have split now than after a commitment had been made. Just take a day at a time and don't expect a miracle they don't exist.
One day promise you, you will look back on today and wonder why you made such a fuss. I know Ive been there, you will learn to trust again when you meet the right person. Just go out with your mates and have a good time, staying at home just gives you more time to brood over something that is finished. Don't look back look forwards. Sheila
2007-01-07 21:28:52 · answer #2 · answered by she shaw sea shore 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude - it's hard but you need to build up some self-confidence before you do anything else, until you learn to love yourself again no-one else will.
I still think about my ex (and I've been very happily married for 10 years, together for 12) and I don't suppose that ever leaves you. Don't concentrate on what could have been, consider what you need now and take women out of the equation for a while. It's great to be with someone but you don't need it now.
Have some fun, heal those wounds, make a clean break from your ex.
2007-01-03 21:30:54 · answer #3 · answered by chillipope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The break up seems very new and raw at the moment and you are not going to recover overnight. Allow yourself some time to heal (I hate to say it but it could take up to 12 months) and I promise you will gradually , slowly, start to feel better. Join a gym and whenever you fell down go there for an hour - it will help i can assure you. join a couple of eveningclasses - the new term has just started - this will help to keep you busy.
Good luck - there is light at the end of the tunnel
2007-01-03 21:40:03 · answer #4 · answered by D B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
awwww! you seem so sweet.
youll get over it in time luv.
it is always really hard especially as you were so in love.
Plan a lads nite out to keep your mind of her for a few hours, make sure you have a good nite and just be yourself.
Im sure you are really nice and other girls will c that.
Take your time and dnt rush into anything else u may and up hurting urself or even some1 else.
maybe go onto a chat room just to talk to other girls, itll make you feel better talking to some horney girl who is giving you a big head!!!!! lo!!!!
We are all sure that youll get over her
good luck x
2007-01-07 07:23:09 · answer #5 · answered by MANDY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to determine whether or not its because you love her or because you don't want her but you don't want anyone else to have her either. If you still love her then maybe you should tell her and try and work things out but if not then you need to let her go, she deserves the right to be happy and be with other people. A 4yr relationship is hard to come out of because you are so used to that person and you would be used to having her be your girl but if you are the one that broke it off it can only be you that can help yourself come to a solution you either have her for you or you let her go....As bad as it may hurt....
I hope everything works out for you because i know how hard it is. Good Luck XXXXX
2007-01-03 22:41:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why in the hell would you abuse him if you really like him? I don't care if you were drunk or not. Sorry, just being a little abusive. Seriously, you probably confused him and made him mad. He thought you 2 had something going. Then "BAM" you start screaming at the man. Why don't you call and apologize? But don't be surprised if he acts like an *ss. It's a man thing. It may have also turned him away because he may not want to be with somebody who he thinks is a psycho. Just try, it can't hurt.
2016-05-23 01:59:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awww!! Bless you, i know this feeling all too well! The only thing that will stop thinking about this is when you finally move on, which does take time. You dont give a reason as to why you split. But it obviously didnt affect you too much!!! You just need to give yourself a little time and things will start to feel so much better. Good Luck Hun!!
2007-01-03 21:31:32 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be able to forget about her BEFORE you find a new girl otherwise you are just going to get hurt again and hurt the other girl in the process. Healing takes time. Go out with good friends who won't pressure you to hookup. Go places where there aren't may girls, when you're ready you'll find another girl who will be even better then this one.
2007-01-03 21:32:24 · answer #9 · answered by vampire_kitti 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with candylips. I split with my girlfriend of 5 years in july. It was a very difficult time for me then i was thinking about her every 5 mins what she was doing where was she and who with etc.
Give it time keep yourself busy. Build your confidence up just by saying hello to someone you see in a pub club or when you are out anywhere you do not have to have a full conversation with them keep it short and sweet you will be surprised the response you get. Chin up
2007-01-03 21:41:57 · answer #10 · answered by Ding Dong 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋