World's Funniest Joke?

Question

This is apparently the World's Funniest Joke after a year-long search by scientists.

Here it is.


Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"



Yeah its ok, but I've heard better.

Oh, and this is not my joke, for those who misunderstood the first sentence. Tasha!!!!! lol

Answer 1

it is but this is the rest ok


The second place finisher and early leader was this joke, submitted by Geoff Anandappa of Blackpool, England:

“ Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"
”

While this was the top joke in the UK:

“ A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"

The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
”

And in Australia the top joke was as follows:

“ This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?"
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight."
”


[edit] Sources
On June 9, 2006 it was reported that Professor Wiseman has identified the writer of the winner as Spike Milligan [2]. A joke with the same basic premise was broadcast in 1951 on the BBC TV show London Entertains. The sketch, played by Peter Sellers and Michael Bentine (two of the Goons), ran as follows:

“ Bentine: I just came in and found him lying on the carpet there.
Sellers: Oh, is he dead?

Bentine: I think so.

Sellers: Hadn't you better make sure?

Bentine: All right. Just a minute.

[Sound of two gun shots.]

Bentine: He's dead.
”

It has been suggested that the Holmes/Watson joke is a variation of an old Les Dawson gag:

“ In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.

Answer 2

i assumed that sucked.It replaced into ok not something over the proper and not the funniest I easily have heard.I have been given a cheesy one for ya,a pal informed me till now at the instant.Your by no ability going to have faith it....guess who Walt Disney fired at the instant?.......They fired Cinderella.....you will by no ability guess what for........She replaced into caught sitting on undesirable Pinocchio's face screaming on the proper of her lungs,"Lie Pinocchio lie.Lie you biotch."

Answer 3

i bet they were mad scientist who know nothing about jokes ..... anyways i giv u 10/10 and a thumbs up for admitting your joke is lame .... people hardly do that even though they know - so gud on you and keep it up ...... maybe you will come up with something great eventually!!!

:)

Answer 4

It's alright ,but I have heard it before,years ago.

Answer 5

Ya right I've heared better.

Answer 6

great joke. made me laugh

Answer 7

pretty funny

Answer 8

am i supposed to laugh?

Answer 9

i didnt laugh at all?

Answer 10

to me it's not funny?