How do you get over being used?

Question

If you believe that you were used for just sex over a long period of time how would you get over the mental effects of this. Anyone had any experience of this. By the way I am a bloke so know I shouldn't feel like this about it

Answer 1

I was in a relationship for six months with a fella and our entire relationship was based on sex and felt used after it was over and it took time and being away from the situation to see it more clearly.

It is likely that you knew you were being used for sex and allowed it because you bought into the myth that men should never turn down sex. To get over the feeling of being used accept that you accepted the situation for what it was at the time because you thought there was something in it for you, but now that you are out of it, you realize that you should not have settled and have learned a valueable lesson about who you really are from the process, so it was not a wasted experience, just a learning process.

Answer 2

It doesn't matter whether you're a man or a woman, the effects of feeling used are equally devastating. Why shouldn't you feel like this? Whether you're right or wrong about this person, you do feel violated and abused.
First of all you have to accept your own feelings. There's nothing you should be ashamed of. Everybody makes mistakes. Especially if you really loved this person, then even if you were aware of being used you still let it happen. And it's only natural, there's nothing else you could do.
Did the other person end the relationship or is it still going on? Getting over this kind of experience is like getting over a serious disease. You just have to let it take its course. Treat it like a disease. Take measures to cure it but don't expect to see dramatic results overnight. It takes time.
Talk about it if you feel you need to. The ideal person of course would be the one who hurt you but if that's not possible then a good friend will do. Be careful though, who you talk it over with. Don't just spill your heart to people who are going to make fun of you or act like know-it-alls and tell you to get a grip and get over it. Find a good friend who will understand how you feel and will stand by you.
Then try to fill your life with good things. Take up a new hobby, join a group of people with the same interests and do fun things with them, without getting too personal.
There will be times when you'll feel like you can't go on and then there will be times when you'll start feeling optimistic and happy. Bad times and good times will come in waves. As you heal you'll notice that bad feelings will be replaced by good feelings more often than before. Don't be afraid of the bad times, just accept them, cry it out and be patient till the next good time.
As a disease can leave physical scars, a bad experience can leave emotional scars. You can either hide them and be ashamed of them or you can learn to live with them and keep them to remind you to be more wise and careful the next time. But in time it will get better, I'm sure. Take care.

Answer 3

Its all ur fault. U shud 1st learn how 2 trust anyone. I think u were immature in this regard. Sorry!. It was ur fault n forget about everything happend earlier. Learn how 2 trust people n relatives. Actually females r d 1 who can smell a person for his/her capabilities.
U shud mend ur future n nt thinking about what happend earlier. There r many twists n turns in our life 2 face. So best of luck for ur future.......
.. Wish u a great life ahead!...

Answer 4

you really cant!

just live everyday and try not to think about it!

sooner or later the memory will be pushed to the back of your mind.

but if you really want to feel better quick. then go hit the person in the head..whoever did this to you

Answer 5

In my view, no sane person can allow himself/ herself to be used. If you are being used, its there in your mental set up and you cant blame the other for it.

Answer 6

Sorry to hear you were abused:( Now is the most important time to stick with your friends and those you know you can trust.