I've suffered with severe social anxiety for over 13 years. This basically ruined my middle school and high school years.
I'm 19 now and have Finally!!! gotten rid of it; But my skills with the ladies stinks for I did not even try to brother with girls for most of my life.
I'm a competitve bodybuilder and most girls I talk to and flirt with are usually to intimidated by my size as well as the tough guy persona I used for many years.
How do I sucessfully get my self into the dating game at such a late age?
2007-01-03 20:24:28 · 7 answers · asked by J-Dog 007 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm not a guy so I have no 'guy-type' answers for you. However, not every girl out there is way more experienced than you, though you may think so. There are girls (and cute ones at that) who suffer from the same sort of social anxiety you have, and they also are looking for guys who will give them a chance. I am speaking from experience. I didn't date at all in middle, high school, or even college. I've only dated (and never had a serious relationship) 4 guys ever. I get hit on often, and am considered to be one of the more attractive women in the town I live in, as far as 'townie' girls go (I live in a college town, but have graduated, so most people I hang out with are not students...). I know that when I say that people will think I'm speaking too highly of myself, but it's only recently that I have built enough self-esteem to realize that I am a pretty girl. (I feel I must at least show myself after a statement like that... www.myspace.com/tinye. I have photos there. I have never developed my Yahoo persona. And I am not conceited in the least). But I'm limited in that I get a bit freaked out and don't let people in. I immediately put everyone I meet into the 'friend' category because I think the same as you; that they don't want to deal with an inexperienced person (I am also a 26-yr-old virgin). This is not true. Just be nice. And real. No fake personas. Don't lie or cover up who you are. This is how you'll find someone that not only will be ok with your natural personality, but will also be completely fine with your inexperience and will not view it as a hinderance. And this is the kind of girl you need (hell, everyone needs). No one who is shallow or preoccupied with status or whatever. If anything, your situation will help you with that. Once you find a good girl, you shouldn't have to worry at all, like others do. Another thing I've learned in my inexperience; though I've had a shortage of boyfriends, the boy (read: male) friends I've made in the process are all about looking out for me. Because they love me and know my situation. And most of them have a bit of lust towards me and have even tried to seduce me (unsuccessfully, because I don't do those things lightly), but in a 'i want to take care of you' way, and I've maintained friendships with them years after that fact, so they are ready to defend me to the end. Find a girl with the same mentality, and she'll do the same.
2007-01-03 21:20:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I'm in, somewhat, of the same position! I'm 18 and haven't started dating yet. This is mainly because of my self esteem issues (which I still battle, but it's not as bad as when I was in middle and high school) and because I'm not attracted to anyone at the time.
At least U don't have to worry about you physical appearance! I'm not ugly, but I'm heavy. I know there are guys who like big girls, but I'm not attracted to the guys that try to talk to me. Besides being big + my natural knack for being a nice and generous person comes of as me being desperate. (The dude was hungry and I had a few extra dollars so I gave the $$ to him so he can get lunch...a few times...nothing out of the ordinary for me, but he didn't know that...another story for another day)
So anyway, it's always encouraging to hear that not everyone started dating at 13, 14 years old. That there are still some ppl who don't start dating (for whatever reason) until later.
2007-01-04 04:38:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's understandable to have doubts about dating at your age, you are still young and yes, hormones are circulating all over your body.
All you need to do is be sure of your feelings before approaching someone. Once u are sure that it is the person you would really like to get to know, just take a deep breath and start talking my brother.
Also avoid making rude comments about girls or dating coz then people may think you are comfortable on your own and start avoiding you.
2007-01-04 04:34:29 · answer #3 · answered by stiletto 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fake it 'till you make it. Soon, you will find a nice girl who will look past your inexperience give you a chance.
Don't try too hard, and don't try to impress. They're talking to you, so they must like what they see already. Just keep things light and go with the flow. If you think you have got it going on and are comfortable with yourself , they will too. Have lots of hobbies, so you have something to talk about.
The more you do it, the better you will be. You will be fine, I'm sure.
Good luck!
2007-01-04 04:32:35 · answer #4 · answered by reginachick22 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Body builders are not good looking to me. Slow down on that for sure. You probably need counseling to get the self-esteem that you need to date. Churches may be a good place to find girls that you are looking for.
2007-01-04 04:44:53 · answer #5 · answered by grannywinkie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang around with girls more and get to know them more and then they might get to like you. Don't be rude about them or Dating and you might just find yourself a girl that likes you.
Good Luck
2007-01-04 04:40:21 · answer #6 · answered by shelley l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was in the same situation. i'm now 28 and still don't know how to go about it.
2007-01-04 04:28:02 · answer #7 · answered by Sleepyguy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋