My brother is obviously an anorexic and in severe denial. How do I get him to admit he has a large problem?

Question

He is almost 21 years old this month. He is 5'11'' to 6" tall. His pants size is 27". Even in this extremely tiny size his pants are falling off without a belt. I am horrified since this size is Xtra Xtra Small (xxs) or Size 0 for young girls. His body is very very thin and he is practically emaciated. He appears to be in severe denial and attacks me when I attempt to help him with his problem. I have tried talking to a Doctor but she won't really assist me. I am at a total loss. Please help me.

Answer 1

You probably know enough to realise that he has gone way beyond being thin, and the fact that he resists well-meaning questioning, would indicate that your fears may well be justified.
The first key thing is to find a doctor who recognises anorexia as the serious illness it is. 10 years ago, our elderly male GP was unconvinced and unsympathetic. However, fortunately for us, a younger, better-trained, female doctor soon recognised the symptoms,made the diagnosis, and our daughter could at least start out on the road to recovery.
I can't emphasise enough how dangerous anorexia is, and how essential it is that it is diagnosed and treatment offered and accepted as early as possible.
Denial is to be expected, moreso as friends and family will tend to focus on weight and appearance, whereas it will have probably been totally unrelated factors which have led him to express his desperate frustration in this way.
If he has a really close friend, possibly this friend could get him to open up a little, but you will have to find out what lies behind your brother's negative feelings.
Try to convince him that whatever he is angry / upset about, controlling his food intake to dangerous levels is the cruellest possible way to deal with the situation. He surely can't hate all his friends and family, and this action will soon hurt everyone around him to an unimaginable degree.
Effective treatment for anorexia is available quite thinly, and where you live affects this too, but I know to my cost that the longer it is left untreated, the harder it is to recover. I'm afraid there is a big onus on you, to get over the first hurdle of denial; I would reassure you that over the last 10 years doctors have become more used to seeing the illness in boys, so he should not feel shy in opening up about his problems.
My very best hopes for you both; it sounds like you are a very loving sister.

Answer 2

Some guys are thin. It would be more helpful to give his weight rather than his waist size. What do his parents say? His friends?

Anorexia is more common in females, you might want to present the problem as a possible thyroid, or other medical disorder, and not a problem with a psychological connotation, which is likely why he becomes defensive. You may want to consider the possibility that he is not anorexic.

Answer 3

Do not try and handle the eating disorder on your own. Eating disorders are serious diseases that if left untreated can be deadly. Ten percent of all eating disorders lead to death. For this reason professional support is often warranted. Make an appointment to see a counselor and offer to accompany the person to the appointment. You can also recommend books and educational materials on eating disorders. Many communities offer support groups for eating disorders. Overeaters' Anonymous (OA) and the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (ANAD) can be found in the phonebook or as links in the website.. You may also want to consider getting support for yourself. Find a counselor, friend or support group where you can receive support for what you are going through. The eating disorder did not develop overnight nor will recovery take hold overnight. So remember to be patient, recovery takes time, and be there for ur brother

Answer 4

My best friend is exactly that size, and he isn't anorexic. Are you absolutely sure your brother is?

If you really think so, tell your parents and his friends. Maybe they can get him to admit it. He is an adult, though, so he's too old to be admitted to a treatment program without his consent.

Answer 5

At some point for his own good you're gonna have to do an intervention.