I'm 21, and I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 years. He's older than me, and has a lot more sexual experience. I'm the 11th person he's slept with... and he's the only one I've EVER slept with! I love him a lot, and I can see myself being with him forever, but I can't stop thinking about this! He gets upset when I try to talk about it. I don't want to break up with him and become a ho... but I don't know how to stop obsessing!
What should I do?
2007-01-03 19:18:24 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yeah... serious replies only please. Don't be stupid.
2007-01-03 19:22:32 · update #1
Oh, and *Smith* I'm not exactly sure what your point was, but I did go "high skool." That's where I learned how to spell! Maybe you should take a trip back there...
2007-01-03 19:51:10 · update #2
Feeling insecure, aren't you? If I were you, I would be too! But don't worry. I hope my advise will help you in this.
Firstly, let me get this straight. You are feeling troubled with the fact that he has slept with ten girls before you while he is the first one that you had sex with. Well, is your boyfriend faithful to you? Is he currently sleeping with other girls while he's with you? If he's not, one lesser problem to worry about.
Secondly, if he gets upset with the fact that you keep bringing it up, then you shouldn't. Thinking, or in your case, obsessing, or talking about the past does not do any good to your relationship at all! If the both of you love each other very much, respect each others feelings. In order for you to respect his feelings about this topic, he should respect yours too. Pick a good day, tell him that you want to talk about this to him and you promise that it would be the last time you are ever going to bring this up. Tell him you want his sincere honesty in this and he should allow you to ask anything about this topic until you are clearly satisfied with the answers you get. Talk it out calmly, don't demand answers from him, don't shout and don't misunderstand. If you are not sure about some of his answers, talk it out and ask him nicely. after the talk, let him know that it has been bugging you and now you are feeling much better. This talk should end on the day that it started. No more bringing it up, no more talking about it, no more thinking about it. If you do, revert your mind to something else for example, the good times the both of you have had (in bed, or not), the laughters that you've shared, all the good things that has happened in your relationship. And I'm sure slowly, these thoughts will go away. I wish you the best of luck and may your relationship blossom even more.
2007-01-03 19:59:35 · answer #1 · answered by faizahbms 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to realize that those 10 others are the past. What difference do they make now? They're gone, right? Actually, my guys "number" is higher than mine as well, and I cared about it, but only for a short time. Let's face it, as long as he was careful enough not to catch anything from any of those others, and doesn't still have feelings for any of them, the only difference they've made is to make him more experienced and better able to please you.
Of course he gets upset when you try and talk about it! I'm sure he's noticed you're obsessing and it probably freaks him out.
For now, concentrate on his good traits, and with time you'll stop caring about numbers. With any relationship issue you have to consider a few things. 1) Is it something that can be changed? In this case, no, it's a done deal. 2) Is it something you're going to be completely unable to deal with? If the answer is yes, then it's going to destroy the relationship. If this isn't something that's worth that cost, then let it go. Basically it always comes down to whether or not you're willing to throw everything away rather than solve the problem. In this case, it doesn't sound like he's bringing it up or anything, so it's up to you to decide.
2007-01-03 19:29:35 · answer #2 · answered by KyLeth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you are aware that he has already slept with so many other persons it is quite clear that he is just to have some fun and leave you. Stop thinking about him and find some one who actually loves YOU. There is no harm if you have slept with him. It could be forgotten as a mere passing affair. Falling in love means a lot - having trust and being faithful which I think is lacking in you bf.
2007-01-03 19:23:27 · answer #3 · answered by Tony 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you want to sleep with more people then do and tell him you want a break to explore your options. Your only other choice is to realize that those other people don't matter. He's with you now and you are lucky because he is probably a much better sex partner than someone who has only been with 1 or 2 people. He can use his skills to make you happy forever.
2007-01-03 19:38:01 · answer #4 · answered by ginger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
21 and getting obsessed?no real talk really didnt u go to high skool?
2007-01-03 19:24:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I posted a similar question on here. Ya, I know the feeling! It totally sucks eh. Don't you totally wish that they were also a virgin.
2007-01-03 19:28:20 · answer #6 · answered by Bob_123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over your obsession.
2007-01-03 19:21:17 · answer #7 · answered by Dr Dee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your lucky to only be the 11th...in this day and age....so if you love him...drop it...love is way more important
2007-01-03 19:21:44 · answer #8 · answered by happymom1981 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Youll just have to grow up and get over it, no offence.
2007-01-03 19:20:26 · answer #9 · answered by xeraphile 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It just takes time.
2007-01-03 19:20:46 · answer #10 · answered by ginger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋