I'm 19 year old South African girl and many people have said I'm very mature for my age. My parents treat me like a 10 year old and are so over protective that even all my teachers from my old school gossiped about it. I've had 3 boyfriends and they have broken up 2 of these because they didn't like the relationship. The 1 they didn't break up, they didn't know about. They want we to socialize but I can't attend any social events. They told me that I'm not allowed to go to a club because I WILL get raped, become pregnant, get Aids etc when I step into that club. What must I do? I've got 1yr 4months till I'm 21 then I can do what I want. But what must I do till then???
2007-01-03 17:44:54 · 12 answers · asked by viciousmishious 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your parents really do have your best interest at heart. They have fears for you and being young, you probably feel invincible. If you live with them and they pay your expenses, then there is nothing that you can do. You have to respect your parents and their wishes even if you do not agree with them. When you move out on your own or start paying rent to your parents (along with other expenses, like part of the grocery bill and part of the heat and water charges) then you can have a say in where you are going.
Sorry. Hopefully the time between now and your 21st birthday will come quickly!
2007-01-03 17:49:17 · answer #1 · answered by bashnick 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you have to start to slowly to become independent.
You say you are mature , but since you haven't been to clubs a whole lot and maybe not have been exposed to a lot of things in the outside world you may come across sheltered and maybe a little naive.
It is a rough world out there, so I advise you to go gradually, don't jump right into the club scene. Go out for a few hours to the library or watch a movie at the cinema, go out with girlfriends, but be home at a reasonable time and when you said you would.
It will assure your parents that you are trustworthy and responsible.
Make sure that you always let someone know where you are at and with whom, and gradually release yourself from the apronstring.
Make sure you use your female intuition...if something doesn't feel right or seems too good to be true...it probably is
Best wishes
2007-01-03 17:54:43 · answer #2 · answered by thatswhattheytoldmelastnight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you live in So. Africa or in the U.S. In the U.S. you can live on your own at 18 but if you need your parents' financial support and need to live at home then you need to either follow their rules or sit down quietly and discuss a few compromises. Your parents obviously love you and want to protect you from harm. They do need to realize, however, that you are now a young woman and should be able to make some choices on your own. Explain to them that they are good parents and have instilled good values in you. Ask them how they would like you to socialize. Perhaps you could invite your male and female friends to come to your home and meet your parents. Have a pot luck meal, play cards or other games, dance and have fun. Then when your parents see that you have nice respectable friends, they will probably be more willing to let you go out...maybe in groups at first. Whatever you do, don't ruin your relationship with your parents. You will be an adult for a very long time and you will want your parents to be part of your future as they have been part of your past.
2007-01-03 17:53:50 · answer #3 · answered by Santa's Elf 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Consider their viewpoint, and take advantage of the protection they currently offer. Appreciate what you have ...
Youths---Let Your Parents Help You Guard Your Heart!
- Why Obey Your Parents?
- Attraction to the Opposite Sex
- The Persuasive Power of Your Peers
- Parents--Worthy of Honor
http://watchtower.org/library/w/2004/10/15/article_01.htm
2007-01-03 17:59:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!!! I thought I had it bad!!! Well tell your parents you can do whatever you want becuz you are over 18 and when you're 18, ur an adult!!! That's pretty dumb. I'm 14 going on 15 and I have an odd thing with my body where my waist is like 2 weeks behind in growth and my torso and my legs are 3 weeks ahead so I'm REAL tall and thin. My parents won't let me go out cuz I look like that. Of course I can't even leave my front yard. There's a lot of pervs in my neighbor hood who have tried to prostitute me.
2007-01-03 17:49:49 · answer #5 · answered by brown eyed gurl 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
that's annoying to declare with the aid of all their faults, my mom and dad did an excellent job. They raised 4 bright and effectual little ones. we are all autonomous, have stable jobs and manage others with appreciate and compassion. I do the final i will with my 2, even if on the age of seven i actually can not be certain what style of adult men they are going to be. i will in undemanding terms desire that I even have controlled to instill in them the comparable values my mom and dad did which I carry to this present day. suitable now they are dazzling little ones. they are bright, kind and efficient. even if I nevertheless might desire to make it for the time of the teenage years. this may well be a question to probable answer in yet another 2 many years, when I even have 2 youthful adult men who call me mom. Then i could have the potential to tell you extra precise what style of human beings I raised and then in step with danger i could have a extra helpful answer. even if on the 2d, i will desire for no less than the comparable, and if attainable exceed what my mom and dad did.
2016-12-15 09:07:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go along with them, as it isn't worth the upsetness. A year in a life time is nothing and will go quickly. Don't be upset with them, they love you and this is their way of showing you, by trying to protect you, but in the meantime they are putting wrong thoughts into your head. They are going about it incorrectly but they are desperate and will say anything to keep you out of harms way...Good luck to you.
2007-01-03 18:00:51 · answer #7 · answered by brown eyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats for ur own goods girl.they tried to protect u bcuz they love u.19 years old maybe mature for u but not to them.maybe them still want u be their little girl u know.for me u better respect ur family in the same times tried to make them getting know u better.and tackle them trust.
2007-01-03 18:02:49 · answer #8 · answered by danial rulli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there! Your parents r right there is alot of danger in the world will live in today they r only trying to pretect u.
2007-01-03 18:16:56 · answer #9 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait (at least) 1 year 4 months.
South Africa is rather dangerous qua things you mentioned, i heard. So i think your parents are wise to tell you to be cautious.
2007-01-03 17:49:37 · answer #10 · answered by · 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋