(Since he is at college, we chat on the net.) A month ago we were talking, and he told me that he liked me. Even though he had a girlfriend (and I would NEVER go any further than this), I was honest and told him that I had liked him for a long time. His girlfriend has since broken up with him. So, every day he says something nice to me, but.... I can deal with his arrogance and temper, but it hurts. He also always tries to get me to do "things" with him, every day, even though I have already told him "no". And he talks about other girls all of the time, but when I mention a male name, he tells me not to. Sometimes I wish that I had never told him that I liked him. I still like him a lot, but.... We're both single, but I feel stuck. I'm very committed and loyal, but it's like I have a boyfriend with no benefits. When I like one guy, I don't like anyone else. But what if I lose interest, and like another? What would I do or say? Someone will get hurt, but I don't want to hurt him.
2007-01-03 17:32:06 · 26 answers · asked by Drinking from a broken glass.... 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you're not in a relationship with him so don't worry..you can like other guys. but that also means he can like other girls. i don't think he likes or respects you a lot if he's talking about other girls in front of you and trying to get you to do "things". he sounds controlling. just ingore him and find someone else. good luck
2007-01-03 17:41:15 · answer #1 · answered by ♥♥♫ 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First off, you're not "stuck"... You are experimenting and experiencing. There's nothing wrong with that. You will come across people you may like or love - it happens all the time; let it happen. Often, people get hurt - there's no way around it. You two have expressed mutual interest in one another - just wait and see where this interest takes you, but don't feel responsible for the other person's choices. If you become interested in someone else - so be it; you'll have to be honest with yourself and with others, and cross that bridge when you come to it. It will never be your fault if you for some reason cannot return someone's feelings for you; just as you should not blame someone else for not liking you back. Each person makes their own choices in a relationship - sometimes the two people's choices support one another, other times they drive the partners apart. It happens! Try to do your best, and be responsible. It's all you can really do! Good luck.
P.S. There's nothing wrong with talking to a person you like online, but be realistic, and try to keep things in perspective. To grow and develop properly, a relationship needs to cross into the realm of "real life"; an online relationship can develop - but it is quite different from the dynamics of a real-life, face-to-face relationship. A plant can grow in a shaded room, but it will not look the same as the plant grown outdoors. Don't shun the possiblity of a real-life relationship just because you have an online one, don't restrict yourself or ask "what if". Just let things develop, and take it from there.
2007-01-03 17:44:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a bad situation to be in. If you only like him on a physical level and he is arrogant and hot-headed then there is no point in having any relationship. If he is asking you to do things with him when you have repeatedly told him no maybe you need to stop hanging out with him or make sure he understands that it bothers you and that you want him to stop asking you. Being a guy though i could understand from his perspective that maybe he doesn't realize the way he is acting bothers you so if you expressed to him the way you feel about his actions and bringing up other women he might stop if he really does like you. If you hurt him then he will get over it but from the way you described him he doesn't sound like that great of a guy and maybe he needs it.
2007-01-03 17:39:03 · answer #3 · answered by Brad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to ALL the advice that everyone is giving you and get as far away from him as possible. He sounds like a walking time bomb. Get away from him while you still have a chance. I don't think that he will be the one to get hurt. He sounds like he could end up being violent towards you and you might not get a chance if you wait too long. Just tell him that you have a new boyfriend and that he really doesn't want you talking to other guys anymore. Maybe, if you have other guy friends, you could ask them to hang around with you for a little while until he is ok with this information.
2007-01-03 17:44:03 · answer #4 · answered by airtightreality 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to get out now... this a classic case of controlling obsessive abuse. It might not seem like it to you because you're in the middle of it, but let me tell you it is. If he is your friend he will let you go and remain friends, but if he flips out when you tell him just think what would happen if you stayed. Women who stay with men like this either end up scarred emotionally and or physically sometimes dead!!! This is nothing to joke around with or continue get out now while you still can.
2007-01-03 17:41:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not worth worrieing about hurting if he is that arrogant. You would be much better off to find a nice guy that likes you for you and can respect you like you deserve.
2007-01-03 17:35:55 · answer #6 · answered by Mac H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't sound like he treats you very well. I'd end it before it goes any further. Just have patience, and wait for the perfect guy, that is set apart only for you. Dating doesn't work, just wait for the one, you'll know it when you find him. He'll love you for you and he'll respect, admire and adore you. Don't settle for anything less, you're worth more than that, and you need to believe it!
2007-01-03 17:38:02 · answer #7 · answered by selah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy seems like a loser. No offense. He knows that you like him and tries to get you to do things with him and still talks about other girls in front of you?? Talk about no respect. His not taking no for a answer when it comes to physical stuff is another gigantic sign of disrespect. You have got to get rid of this guy. There are way too many guys to waste your time on one that is either too immature not to realize that no is no and talking about girls in front of you is ridiculous... or one that knows its disrespectful and does it anyways. Either way you need to move on to somebody better.
2007-01-03 17:37:49 · answer #8 · answered by myjumpman42 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do have a boyfriend without the benefits. As Dan Savage says, dtmfa. DO IT. Life is too short to be with someone who doesn't adore you the way that you deserve.
2007-01-03 17:35:05 · answer #9 · answered by pelikandaughter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may not want to hurt him but clearly he is hurting you by wanting you all to himself while he looks at other chicks, but the second you look at another boy he is all, jerkish telling you not to talk about it? you can't get involved with this man because the second he becomes single, instead of persuing a relationship with you, he is trying to get some "Action." so you need to be honest with him, or else he will be doing this for the rest of his life. save him! lol
2007-01-03 17:38:22 · answer #10 · answered by Kell Bell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋