Is this normal for an 11 year old?

Question

Is it normal for an 11 year old going on 12 to have a messy room??? She a messy kid no matter what. She's been that way since she was little. Is there anything i can do to get her to keep her room clean??? I've tried everything.

Money, Putting things away, Taking her cell phone and her ipod away didnt not work :( need help big time

Answer 1

yeah, and it may even last until the day she dies. Different people have different personalities and just because you are neat doesn't mean she will be. My mother has the most picked up house in the world. She actually has differnt things she cleans on different days of the week. She will throw out your half drunken soda if you get up to go to the bathroom because she thought you were done with it. My room was a pigsty. I suggest you let her keep her room her way, close the door but make rules that the rest of the house is yours. Some things are not worth fighting. Also, if your worried because when you have people over and show them the house they will think her room is messy, just don't show them the rest of the house. Nobody else cares about your house but you.

Answer 2

This is normal and probably just her personality. I have been a neat freak all my life. I cannot stand clutter and everything must have a place. My mom never had to tell me to clean my room. But many people are the opposite. Some people actually prefer clutter. What seems messy to you is organized to her. She can probably find whatever she needs. She knows where everything is despite the room looking like a tornado went through it. I had a cousin whos room drove me nuts. It was terrible. How she found anything is beyond me. But she wasn't comfortable if her room was tidy. Many kids pass through this phase (my brother was a slob as a teen but is a neat freak as an adult) but for many people it is just a personality trait. I don't think there is anything wrong with people who live in clutter. I personally cannot do it and clutter is not the same thing as being clean vs. dirty. I'm not talking about people who leave food lying around or let the cat poop anywhere he wants. I'm just talking about clutter. From my experience the people who thrive on clutter are often very unique and creative people.

Answer 3

Its normal and more than likely since she has been like that since she was little its her personality. Lord knows me and my daughter are the same way. Our house isn't dirty , just cluttered and scattered everywhere.

You could try telling her that she can't watch tv or soemthing till her room is clean. But chances are that is just the way she is. And does haveing a messy room really hurt things * I was never able to figure out why my mom was so strict about me making my bed lol*. I mean if a messy room is the worst she does then you'll be lucky.

One thing that works with my daughter is that we have a cleaning a day. That day we clean the whole house then as a reward for cleaning we go shopping to the moives and/or out to eat once a week. Something to make the cleaning not so unbearable. lol

Answer 4

I have a 12 year old daughter who will be 13 in February. She used to be a messy kid until I sat her down and explained to her that if she didn't clean her room daily, bugs would start crawling around her room because of the mess. Her room has only been messy once in 15 months. All I have to do is remind her of the bugs and she's cleaning her room right away.Try it, especially if she hates bugs.

Answer 5

very normal. You have two options
1. realise this is her room and if this is how she wants to live then so be it, shut the door and have no responsibility for what happens in there. She has to bring out dirty clothes or else they will not be washed, no food to be taken in there (no mouldy dishes) and just close the door and remember one day she will move out and take it with her....or
2. Tell her she has one hour to clean and at the 1hr mark go in with a garbage bag and throw anything on the floor into the bin. After that just ask her if she would like you to clean her room and I bet she cleans it pretty quickly

Answer 6

At her age i was EXACTLY the same - if you would like her to keep her room tidy give her incentives like;

**After your room is tidy you can watch T.V

**If, at the end of each week you have kept your room tidy ALL week you can have £10 / $10 (Or the currency wherever you are!)

**If - at the end of the month your room is at an acceptable standard - ill take you out shopping/to the cinema/bowling!


I know its a pain to have to be 'bribing' your daughter, but in the long run - she'll get used to keeping it tidy and it wont have to be such a big deal between the two of you!

Answer 7

Perfectly normal.
Explain to her that we all have chores we must do or we don't get privileges. Tell her that if she doesn't clean her room, then she doesn't get to talk on the phone, or watch her favorite shows (or whatever she's into) until it's done. Be patient and stick to it. Eventually she'll get tired of missing out on the fun things she likes to do and break down and clean her room so she can have her privileges back.

Answer 8

Normal. My kids have learned to pick up 10 things every afternoon, and 10 more in the evening before bed. This helps. Doesn't do the full job, but it helps.

Answer 9

perfectly normal. my room has been a mess as long as i can remember. 2 years in the military have done nothing for it. it just means that i can clean better and faster

Answer 10

I thought most kids were slobs! LOL

It's normal but annoying. I take away privileges until my kids clean up their rooms.