My boyfriend now is the only one ive ever stuck by because of my past. Ive been with him almost a year and a half and we are currently living together, i love him but since he is in the navy i see him for a week and a half (roughly) every month. I hate this because time drags when he is gone. My whole family adores him. And he told my mother that he is going to propose. The thing is i dont know if im ready for marraige yet, i do love him and i plan on being with him for a long time, but im not sure about marraige. Help!!!!!
2007-01-03 16:46:12 · 30 answers · asked by sexyeyes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
do whatever u think u should do. it doesnt matter what we think. but ill tell u what the navy will be hard even harder if hes enlisted and not an officer. but living in the navy is so different and some hate it and some love it. but follow ur heart and if u really like him go with it!
2007-01-03 16:58:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, talk to him then.
One year is not that long after all, and nobody should be forced into getting married. It's not an achievement!
You are right to want to think about this.
Beside you don't know him that well, a whole week out of a month is not the best to know someone.
The only problem is how making sure you actually really live together so that you have your answer.
Could that be why he wants to get married? to spend more time with you?
The best you can do, is to tell him that you would like see more of him, and enjoy more time together.
For a marriage to work, you need to be in it 100% right from the start.
Good luck.x
2007-01-03 21:43:22 · answer #2 · answered by Kc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it sounds cliche, but when you are ready, you'll know, there will be no question. When I had been with my guy only a year and a half, I don't think I "knew" he was the one either. But now that we've been together 8 years and we've both grown up and matured, I have no doubt.
I aggree, military life is not for everyone. You have to be prepared to be the wife of a warrior, which means taking care of your home and family while your husband is gone, being strong and encouraging - the last thing a military man needs is a weepy weak wife to come home to. You have to be not only his rock, but your children's as well. Are you prepared to raise children on your own majority of the time? Is that the life you would want for you children - not seeing their father consistantly?
I personally couldn't marry someone in the military, I would worry about them too much! So saying no does not mean you are somehow a bad person, you just need to find someone who matches the life that you dream of. Follow your gut instinct as well as your head. Our emotions sometimes get the best of us but you have to put them aside and think logically. Will he provide what is most important to you and your future children?
2007-01-03 17:07:43 · answer #3 · answered by dottidal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a really nice person and so does your boyfriend - you clearly love him, but I don't think you are happy with your relationship with him due to him being away so much because of his job. I think that is perfectly normal, and some people adapt or can cope with that better than others. You might feel different over time, and I think you sound like you need that time to adjust. I don't think I could deal with the long absences, but that is just me, not you. It is all the more reason why you should continue to date him for some time to see if you can adapt to his career affecting your time together.
If he does propose, you could always discuss a long engagement if you want to make a committment but feel you are not ready for marriage - but you need to let him know this. Because he is away a lot it probably strengthens his desire to secure your relationship and get married - it's about security for him and knowing that you will be waiting as he loves you - so you also have to see it from his point of view. I think the best thing is to talk to him very honestly about your feelings when the time comes, honesty is always the best policy! Just go with what feels right for you and I wish you lots of happiness.
2007-01-03 20:38:26 · answer #4 · answered by Boo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really haven't been together very long, especially with him in the navy. You are probably still in the lust stage of the ralationship because you miss each other so much between visits. Talk to him now if you feel you are not ready to get married, don't wait for him to propose, he will be very embarassed. Don't tell him you know he wants to propose just drip some hints and figure out a way to raise your concerns casually.
2007-01-03 17:00:14 · answer #5 · answered by vampire_kitti 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have already known of two couples who were to be married, and went through everything. One the night before they were to be married said I don't think I am ready for this. and the other a month before there actual date broke it off. Do not make this be a third. Be honest, and sit down with him and let him know just how you feel, the longer you wait, the harder it will become. If he really loves you he will work with you, your young and your whole live is ahead of you, and if you don't resolve this now,what will your future be like. Marriage is sacred, and if you want it to last, You must give your all. Start now Honesty is the best policy. 45 years married.
2007-01-03 17:03:34 · answer #6 · answered by lennie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First you must define within yourself what "Being Ready" means to you. If your expecting to reach a point where there will be this absolute certainty that your Marriage will be perfect, I'm sorry but that is unrealistic.
You must understand that Marriage is not a Destination, it is a Journey. One with highs and lows. If you find comfort in those low places with this man and can't imagine the highs without Him then you are ready, don't be afraid.
If you question in the slightest that the two of you have the maturity for such a journey then I would suggest you share your concerns with Him.
2007-01-03 17:00:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell him that you love him and plan on being with him for a long time, but you are not sure you are ready for marriage yet. In otherwords, be honest and say what you just said on here to total strangers. Better not to start something unless you are ready.
If you feel you want to marry this man, but maybe not yet, (which is totally different than not being ready for marriage) accept his proposal and have a long engagement. Please make sure you really want to get married to him before you say yes.
Good luck :)
2007-01-03 16:53:24 · answer #8 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if you are living with him already then i don't see why you should be scared of marriage.
1. Move out of the house you share together to give you time to think clearly in an unbiased way.
2. is it the marriage you are scared of or do you still want to have other relationships( go on! admit it)
3. Get a life and stop counting days of his absence at the calendar
2007-01-03 17:00:28 · answer #9 · answered by 22 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get out of there now. You need to be sure. Getting out now is cheaper than the lawyer in the future. Military life is not for everyone and particular the Navy were the one can be gone for long period of time--5/6months.
2007-01-03 16:52:49 · answer #10 · answered by tjdepere2003 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋