always brings up the things that she does for me like giving me things for my baby, all of which i have never even asked for but am still thankful that shed does help me out. 80% of the things she does give me is from my brothers anyway so its not like she is running out to the store every 5 minutes to buy my son things but the point is she always wants me to thank her and i do i tell her i appricate everything but that is never enough so she pissed me off so bad today and i said you act like you want me to kiss your feet and that really pissed her off and she had the nerve to say to me that she is still raising her kids and that shes not ready to be a grandmother. I think she is a ***** for saying that i am 23 years old and just had my first baby she just turned 41 on christmas day and had me when she was 17 and she also has a 9 and 4 year old now how much of a ***** can she be to say something like that to me like if im supposed to wait till she is ready to have grandchildren? Help!
2007-01-03 16:44:05 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sounds like she is selfish. You were right in saying something to her. Next time, bring up what you just said to us....about her actig like you are supposed to put your life on hold til SHE is ready to be a grandmother.
No reason to cut ties with her or to give her the cold shoulder, just talk it out. Make sure you tell her exactly how you feel.......make sure she does know you appreciate her though.......this is probably a mid-life crisis thing. Maybe denial that she is aging.
2007-01-03 16:50:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a shame you are paying for the regrets of your Mom.
I'm so sorry.
At 41 I felt as though my life was passing me by. I had three children, ages 16, 13 and 4. I didn't have much time for myself. That is truly what your mother is feeling. She doesn't have any "ME" time.
She was honest with you when she said she's not ready to be a grandmother. (The title, "Grandmother" sounds old even to me!) I am nearly 50 now, and I would love to have grandchildren, but not have them call me 'grandma.'
Whatever she's thinking, you should be patient with her. She has issues you may not understand until you're 41, or perhaps never.
2007-01-03 17:53:11 · answer #2 · answered by domesticgoddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the both of you need to cool it & stop with the drama because ya'll are fighting over something that is very unnecessary. You & your mother's frustrations are built up so high to the point where the walls are starting to fall apart & your both taking it out on eachother. Life is not about who's buying what or bringing this & who's supporting whom. Let her know this. If she's complaining about it, then tell her to stop bringing things over to you for your son. Plain & simple, she's probably likes being thanked, then thank her, but still respect her, because she's your mother. Not that you already don't know that. but still, you know parents these days, they are old fashioned & expect so much. Don't let this arguement come between you the both of you. Life is too short to be pissed off, especially for things that don't really mean that much.
2007-01-03 17:05:42 · answer #3 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom has a problem. She doesn't feel ready to be a grandmother; it makes her feel old. She is taking out her anger about other things by making you feel guilty. Don't talk to her so often and cut the converstations short. As soon as she starts talking about all that she's done for you, say, "Sorry, Mom, I've gotta run." Make an exuse about the baby or anther call. Say "Love you" and hang up.
2007-01-03 16:51:26 · answer #4 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your mom doesn't feel like she is appreciated enough. I hear you when you say you always thank her for her help, and that you haven't asked for the help, but all that aside, maybe you do need to kiss her feet a bit, so to speak. Not literally of course. What about buying her a nice card that says "Thank you" and write a short note that says you really appreciate her help and that even though she is a very young grandmother, she is doing a great job. Good luck!
2007-01-03 17:04:44 · answer #5 · answered by meatpiemum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
F*** what she says, you are a grown woman. Sounds like she's trying to cover up the fact that she had you young by using you and your child as an excuse. I still don't understand why some parents feel like their child "owe them something" because they DID'NT ask to be in the world. If possible talk to your mother and if that doesn't work, then go on about your business. She'll come around one day. It's tough and mother piss yopu off but you have to deal with them because I swear I'm about to snap at anytime! LOL. Why does she feel she has to take care of you son? Another thing, parents LOVE to trow things in their children's face. Just be patient with her. I'm a parent but my son is only 4 months old, so i'm not one of the one's who like to make the child feel that he owes me th world.
2007-01-03 17:28:00 · answer #6 · answered by tantalizin1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
before she say something you thank her for the last things she has done for you ...
and let me tell you something, I am going to have a baby soon and I do not live close to my parents, in fact they are living in other country and there is 0 chance to see them any time soon.
I wish with all my heart that I could talk with my mom everyday and see her once a while even though if I had to say thank you thank you thank you the whole time.
take care and good luck
2007-01-03 17:27:29 · answer #7 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not be mad at your mother for the simple fact she may be going thru the change of life herself anf feel that she really couldn't enjoy her teen years like she wanted to. she is happy to be a grandmother she just do not want to admit it now. if she did not she would be buying for your child like she is and maybe she did not cater to you as an child like she should have and is using your child to make it up. it is a lots of things going thru her mind now and you should ask your doctor about menpause and then you will undarstand her a little better as to why. she had your younger siblings going thru the change
2007-01-03 17:00:54 · answer #8 · answered by rinnie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom is basically giving you a guilt trip to make herself feel better. you can either tell her to back off, and risk her not givign you anything, or decide you will go it alone without her anyway and tell her you dont want her stuff if its going to come with conditions attached. by taking the stuff youre giving her an excuse to tell you how to use it. then again she is ur mom and they like to tell you what to do!!!
2007-01-03 16:48:12 · answer #9 · answered by Deb P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mother has a ' I wana be younger ' complex. If she can't handle being a grandmother, don't let her into your life. She wants WAY more than she needs and deserves...maybe thats her problem, you don't need her anymore...needy people will suck the life right out of you...
2007-01-03 16:48:29 · answer #10 · answered by Chrys 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋