I am alot bigger than the other girls and the bride has picked spaghettie straps and tea length dresses. Should I be in the wedding or not? I am concerned about how her wedding pictures will look. I don't want to be the reason her day is ruined.
2007-01-03 16:37:30 · 18 answers · asked by Hobo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
she picked you because you are her friend not because of how you look! if it really bothers you ask her about it, maybe she doesn't realize how you feel, you should tell her since i bet she's hate to make you feel bad. . . . whatever happens you should work it out with her, it may be embarissing but it is her wedding and you want it to be the best for her!
2007-01-03 16:41:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Usually I would take the time to read through the answers to make sure I am not repeating someone else, but you had too many to read! If you feel uncomfortable with the spaghetti ask if you can wear a matching short jacket with the dress. Tea length is perfect for a larger woman just wear a short heel and your calves will look great. If you have time before the wedding, you could try working out and toning your body so that YOU feel better in the dress, and not for anyone else. Also you could talk to her about a different style but the same color of dress. I am sure she wants you to be a part of her wedding because she cares about you and I am sure that she would want you to be comfortable in the dress as well. Good luck and remember to just enjoy the day, and that your probably the only person thinking about the size of your dress!
2007-01-04 10:40:13 · answer #2 · answered by Tamra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frankly, it was stupid of her to pick something that would not look good on ALL the women she had chosen.
You should tell her ASAP you are not comfortable with a spaghetti strap dress. You really should have mentioned earlier than this, any issues regarding dress selection.
If you and another few girls choose dresses that are the same color and material as the spag strap ones but that have sleeves, then it will look like a normal variation in the wedding party-- same color and fabric on everyone, but slightly different dress cuts-- MANY wedding parties do that, these days-- no one bats an eye.
But if you are the ONLY one that gets a different style it will look like you're the maid of honor (who can some time have a slightly different gown than the BMs) OR it will look like they "singled out" the heavier girl for a different dress, which would be just awful.
2007-01-03 19:07:05 · answer #3 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How good of a friend are you of the brides? Do you really want to be in the wedding?
If it's someone you really care about, and you want to be there for her, consider asking her if there is any way she would consider allowing the bridesmaids to choose their own dresses, in the same color- so that you can find something flattering and comfortable for you.
Another option could be to ask her if there was a way for the bridesmaids to wear shawls or wraps, so that you can feel more comfortable in the pictures.
Be honest with your friend- if she's really your friend, she'll listen. She wouldn't ask you if she didn't want you as a bridesmaid! Also, maybe she didn't consider how you'd feel or look in the wedding- wedding planning is a lot of stress and hard work, and loads of decisions. Sometimes these things can be overlooked!
Good luck.
2007-01-03 16:42:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think she would have asked you to be a bridesmaid if she didn't really want you up there, and having a bigger girl in her wedding pics is NOT gonna ruin her day! Its nice of you to be concerned, but I don't think that would very fair to the bride if you backed out over something like this! If your really that bothered by it, why don't you start working out or something like that so you will feel better about it all....obviously the bride is ok with it!
2007-01-04 01:32:10 · answer #5 · answered by ASH 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First...she asked you to be a part of her very special day *knowing* that you probably weren't going to diet down to a size 6 by the wedding (that's the bride's job) so don't give "ruining her wedding pictures" another thought (besides...small does not always equate to prettier.
If you're really not comfortable with the style of dress that's been picked, talk it over with her see if you can get something similar to what the other girls are wearing, in the same color in a style you're more comfortable with. For me it was no biggie my MOH is a larger girl...but she was my ONLY attendant, I gave her a color range and told her to go nuts...the only thing I asked was that the dress be suitable for a wedding but something she could/would be able to (and would actually consider) wearing after the wedding...because she was in a style she was comfortable in...she looked GORGEOUS!!
Personally I DESPISE the wedding pics where the whole row of bridesmaids & MOH are all wearing the exact same dress. to me it screams unoriginality. A lot of girls are going the route of "same color, similar style" nowadays, so it might be something your friend might consider. Either way...best of luck, hun
2007-01-03 16:49:04 · answer #6 · answered by gords_babygirl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dont worry about it!! I am sure you will look very beautiful!! Your friend picked you as a bridesmaid because she thinks of you as a close friend. She would be probably be very upset if you dropped out of the wedding. You can ask her to alter the same dress for you so that you would feel more comfortable in it, even if you dont I think that you will look good and you shouldnt feel that just because you are bigger than the other girls you wont look as good as them!! Good Luck and have fun at the wedding!
2007-01-03 16:43:04 · answer #7 · answered by ashi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it is hard i have been in weddings where everyone was a size 4-6 and I was a 10 I know that is not huge but it was noticable to me. i worried and then realized that she knew my size when she asked me to be in her wedding party. Your friend knows what you look like, and loves you no matter what. So don't stress, as someone else said the photographer and the person altering your dress will help a lot. You will not ruin her day by being there, but you might by not standing beside her where she wanted you. and remember have fun!
2007-01-04 04:11:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend was in a similar situation and went through with being in the wedding but the dress was altered to look more appropriate on her plus size body. She was a 24 and they were a size 2-4 but the way they altered the dress the pictures looked great. It is all about the photographer knowing how to take the pictures and fitting the dress comfortably as possible.
2007-01-03 16:41:13 · answer #9 · answered by momof3boys 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The bride can let the photographer work it out.
I can assure you that the day will not be ruined for the bride. She invited you and she chose the dresses (which you will wear exactly once) and nevermore. The important thing is your face is in the picture.
2007-01-03 16:45:09 · answer #10 · answered by Thomas K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a totally sweet thought. really though, you won't ruin her day. bring it up with her and let her decide. just tell her you are very fortunate to have her as a friend and want the best for her. I just attended my daughters wedding. My niece is rather huge and the dress was fully wrong for her but the day was awesome and no one even noticed.
2007-01-03 16:42:00 · answer #11 · answered by m-t-nest 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋